Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts

Monday, January 20, 2014

How Her Majesty the Queen helped me survive these past 1.5 years.

Dedicated to every brave soul who daily choses to continue living - even if it means facing demons, hardship and heartache.  Dedicated also to the fabulous Rev Dave and CEO Lisa who together gave me the bravery to speak out and put pen to paper.

It is amazing that even in the 21st century, it still isn't very easy to speak openly about mental health issues - particularly on a personal leveMORE empathetic and compassionate rather than building walls and de-personalising our patients!  Somehow anyone within the NHS, there is a ridiculous notion that "we are professionals and shouldn't struggle on this level".  But the unspoken reality is that the NHS is wonderful because it is staffed by human beings who do go through similar problems to the patients and families we see on a daily basis.  That reality should make us

My own personal background was somewhat more complicated by the fact that I came from an extremely fundemental religious background where mental health issues were particularly disapproved of, and usually put down to "sin" on some level.  When I first went on antidepressants some 10 years ago for a time, I didn't dare tell my parents for some years - as it was seen as an admission of "failure".  I have seen my General Practioner and various Occupational Health services through work pretty regularly - and the clinical feeling is that I am not "depressed" per se - I apparently tend to struggle with "chronic anxiety".  In short - I daily seem to imagine up (I have a very vivid imagination) all sorts of fears, worries and panics about what life may bring.

The last year and a half has been particularly rock-bottom in terms of experience, health and work.  Two or three times I did in fact consider suicide and whether it really "was all worth carrying on".  Those low points were often prompted by events I read, such as the tragic account of the nurse involved with the Australian DJ scandal while Prince William and Kate were in hospital expecting Prince George.  Reading that account made me feel an affinity with the nurse - but in a ludicrous way, a rather morbid wondering if I also committed suicide whether the Chairman/Chief Executive of my workplace would make a statement to the press.  I decided they wouldn't bother - and somehow found that enabled me to "keep living" that particular low day.

But the benefit of this year has meant that I have been forced to confront some of my worst fears headon - with no support, help or alternative.  That's a story for another time - but what I found was that actually - my imagined fears were WORSE than the reality!  But what I wanted to focus on in this post was what enabled me day by day to "keep going" this year.  And that was the person and example of Her Majesty the Queen.  Before you snigger - let me explain why.

I am sure there may be psychological reasons why the Queen means so much to me personally.  I lost both my beloved Grandparents at significantly low times in my life to cancer, and both losses affected me deeply.  I guess there may be a degree to which I long for a "Grandmother" figure.  But Her Majesty's example has meant more than that this year.  It is well known and commonly cited that her life motto is;

"Duty first - self second".

When Her Majesty was 21 she made a monumental speech in South Africa where she committed her life to;

"I declare before you all that my whole life whether it be long or short shall be devoted to your service and the service of our great imperial family to which we all belong".

Her committment to duty has ruled her life and service - even if at times it has meant that her family life and personal life has been affected as a result.  Many commentators (and we never know what Her Majesty herself thinks - as she does not give interviews) suggest that call to duty is something that has remained with her, and has driven her throughout her life and reign - to the present date, her amazing 86 years of age and her now-over 60 years of reign.

Let me make it clear - I do not equate myself in ANY way to Her Majesty the Queen in ANY sense (other than to count myself fortunate to be one of Her subjects).  But what remained with me throughout this blackest of years, was initially a thought - does Her Majesty the Queen ever get down or low?  And this wondering grew into an interest that lead me to reading many of the biographies written about the Queen, and the difficulties that have beset her (especially her famous "annus horribilis" year and the year where HM lost both her beloved mother and her sister) - yet continued to perform her duty.

Her Majesty's personal difficulties are made worse by far because they are so often in the sight, criticism and debate of the press and therefore the public of both the United Kingdom and Commonwealth.  At the very least any personal problems I have, were able to be limited by myself to the people I trust and were able to depend on (and to them - a few in number - I owe them a debt of gratitude I will never be able to repay!).

While working through - day by day - the blackness, the lowness and utter desolation of the past year - at times, it was quite simply the fact of seeing Her Majesty the Queen at an official function (I follow several blogs that track and report the Court Circular) that gave me courage and conviction to try and "live the day".  At times, this was as pathetic as leaving the safety of my flat and walking to the corner shop to buy a pint of milk.  It sounds ridiculous to write this - but my mentality was;

"If Her Majesty can go to yet another engagement despite the wealth of possible aches and pains she may have as an over-80 year old, smile constantly even though she may not feel it, and shake umpteen hands even though she has done nothing but for the last over 60 years of her reign ... then surely I can put clothes on, leave the flat and do a simple task?".

That simple role-model and mentality enabled me to gradually build and grow in confidence, activities - and as a result I found my mood and outlook on life improving, my determination to work through my difficulties strengthen, and focus my goals beyond just "surviving the day".

It is for this reason I will never fail to be grateful to the unfailing example of Her Majesty the Queen.  The couple of visits I have been SO fortunate to make to Buckingham Palace only served to enhance that.  It is why I am a Royalist through and through!  I know this example will not work for everyone who suffers with anxiety, depression or any other mental health disorders.  But I do think it underlines the importance when you are struggling so hard to "keep living" - sometimes it can be the most simple or obvious of things that help keep you "living"!  It could be a family pet that needs feeding.  It could be a planned outing in a few weeks time.

The majority of the victims of suicide almost invariably state; "they ran out of hope".  So for us - as NHS professionals - one of the key responsibilities upon us is to help find that hope (and it will be individual to each person).  But we can only do our job well and effectively - if WE are honest about our struggles and experiences.  Small things such as a "thank-you" from a Chief Executive or a line manager can change the complete "mood" of a working week!  More importantly - cared-for staff give better care (it is widely acknowledged - I cite an excellent PICU Intensive Care Consultant as an example) so it is vital that if NHS staff do share mental health struggles and issues, they are supported and not vilified or patronised (as has sometimes been my experience).

Positive thinking (in my opinion and experience) is absolutely vital to "keeping on going".  For many of my 36 years of living - I thought that positivity and happiness was a reaction to the experiences that life forces upon us.  If life was going well - then I was happy!  If it was going very ill - then I was not.  But I have come to realise and understand (thanks to Twitter friends - in particular Kath Evans, Head of Patient Experience for NHS England and her friend 'Engaging Emma') - that in fact positivity and happiness come from "within" and are a state of mind that can be increasingly immune to life's changes and events!

My conclusions?

1.  Life isn't fair or just.
2.  We all have a choice - to continue and fight or opt out.
3.  We can all chose to benefit from our experiences and use them for good.
4.  There is always hope - even if it is the smallest glimmer (such as the Monarch carrying on her duties!).
5.  The night cannot last forever - the dawn does comes, even if it seems forever!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Monday, September 26, 2011

I love the Prophetic!

I was so incredibly blessed to read this prophetic song that was shared last Sunday from my old church in Bristol - Grace Church Bristol - by an old friend Angi who is the worship leader there. The song lyrics really hit home directly to where I am at at the moment.

It's great that the prophetic can bless others in a greater sphere than the local church! Here is what she felt God tell her;

Sunday 25th September 2011

Prophetic Song for those Struggling with Doubt.

"I hear your cry, I see your tears in the night
You are weak and you wonder why
You feel alone but I am with you

So let my grace, let my grace be enough
Find your strength in me the solid rock
for my power never ends

For I am the God who draws near unto
Those who call on me
I welcome you to my throne of grace
To find help in times of need

I hear your cry, my promised good you cannot see
Your situation’s not what you want it to be
But it’s my design and sovereignty

So let my peace, let my peace bring calm to your soul
In stormy trials I won’t let you go
Rest in the shadow of my wings

For I’m the God who heals the brokenhearted
I stoop down to seek the lost
I’ve shown my love and compassion for you

In the mercy of the cross
I’m the father to the fatherless
The defender of the weak
Always watching over you
Put your trust in me

So lift you eyes to me your Coming King
Lift your heart and voice to sing
Hope in my love that’s unfailing
I’m the sustainer of everything
I’m your God, trust in me"

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Heroes of Faith: Interviews with Terry Virgo

I was so excited to see these set of videos have been posted on Terry Virgo's website. He mentioned on his Twitter account that he was being interviewed for this series - and here they are! It was a bittersweet moment to be present at the last "Together on a Mission" in July. One of the highlights of that conference was the opportunity to hear Terry - one of my ultimate living heroes of the faith - speak regularly. I probably have not heard "now" words from God from any other preacher alive other than this great man.

So here are the videos;

Revelation TV interview part 1 from Terry Virgo on Vimeo.

Revelation TV interview part 2 from Terry Virgo on Vimeo.

Revelation TV interview part 3 from Terry Virgo on Vimeo.

Friday, August 05, 2011

Keep on Believing!?

I had a strange experience last night. I had an excellent first day at work at my new job on the Intensive Care Unit and came back quite encouraged but ended up getting into an interesting discussion with my best friend about God - the manifest Presence of God - why some Christians such as Rob Rufus seem to enjoy experiences of His glory while others (like me) don't - and so on. We didn't really have any answers. We were just discussing.

And suddenly and unexpectedly I found myself breaking down into tears.

The agony of silence and the feeling that the heavens are brass just got too much. By the mercy of God I was able to chat to my dear friend Pete online and he was able to encourage me that this is the cry of hunger. I've never wept I don't think before that God isn't answering prayers or speaking but I'm encouraged if that means maybe there is light on the horizon!

This song is so unbelievably trite but sometimes it is the simple that keeps you holding on - when you can't stomach the theological heavyweight hymns! Although I love them too.


Crikey - I couldn't even watch that video while posting without crying again. Maybe there's something to this faith thing after all! Either that or I'm pregnant ... scary.

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Belief!

I was tremendously impacted yesterday while watching the wonderful rendition of C S Lewis's "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader". The great character Reepicheep (the mouse) during the film is talking about his belief in Aslan's country and says;

"We have nothing if not belief".

I'm sure that's biblical! I think one of the reasons why the modern day church is so pathetic at times is because I'm not sure exactly what we believe in. I was taken aback by a few comments I had via email and Facebook about my re-posting Ern Baxter's comments on a glorious future. Does it seems restorationism well and truly is out of fashion?

That isn't a problem if (as Terry Virgo says) we can be persuaded that a glorious future for the end-time church is not actually biblical and we should see the 2nd coming of Christ as a salvific act for His church. Unfortunately I have yet to see that - so will persist in believing! One of the reasons why I love remembering and delving through the past is because like a "mound of stones" - history reminds us God acted in the past and can and will do again.

This picture was from the New Wine Magazine - December 1977 (the month and year of my birth!) and fronted Ern Baxter's report from his visit to the United Kingdom and particularly the Dales Bible Week. Just looking at it reminded me that we can always have hope! We do not look to men or women necessarily apart from servants of God. We look to God Himself to intervene, surprise us and change history!

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Rob Rufus at "Glory and Grace Conference - Hong Kong" - Part 1

I was recommended highly to transcribe this message by Paul - one of the amazing leaders who attended the "Glory and Grace Conference 2010" in Hong Kong. I was feeling particularly miserable knowing that the conference was carrying on and I was stuck at work in Birmingham. Paul emailed and said the session was amazing and to look out for it! It was such a blessing to know that he thought of me - so I have duly taken his advice and have been transcribing it over the last few weeks.

However as I have progressed through the message to the conference (and I am about half-way through) I am convinced I can't withhold the truth of this anymore. It really is the most breath-taking new revelation on a verse I have always mis-understood and feared. So here is Part 1 - and God-willing, Part 2 won't be long!

Rob's text is - Hebrews 6:4-6;

"Wow what a conference it's been. I love the varieties of God and the diversities of God. It is amazing how the religious spirit would love us to just be prophetic people or just teaching people or just apostolic people or just evangelistic people or just one-style or one-way of worshiping people. It is amazing how quickly we fall into personal preferences and we do not like it when our particular preference is manifested. I really believe that all of us are in the situation where none of us are completely comfortable with every style and expression and manifestation of ministry in the kingdom.

It is a very healthy thing to admit you are not comfortable because all of us are being stretched in these days - not to snap - but to understand the multi-faceted rainbow of God's wisdom that is to be expressed to the powers and authorities through the church.

I believe those powers and authorities are not evil ones but they are the angelic hosts glorifying God in what the church is doing on the earth. I really believe God wants us to break out and to different expressions. There is an older generation like me (I hate to admit that!) but we are older and we have particular histories and we like that and make no apology for our history.

I come out of four major moves of God on our planet in my lifetime. Four major moves - and I have learned so much from those four major moves - the good things and the bad things. I hold it all dear and treasure them because there is eternal revelation in those moves of God.

Then there is a younger generation coming through that I am literally wide-eyed with wonder and learning from them almost daily - but weekly and they have whole new insights and have come from a completely different angle than I have come from and I am learning.

It is not accommodating and tolerating them - but we literally have to find grace to celebrate these different expressions otherwise the church becomes stereotyped and we become little clones or puppets of our religious culture and sub-culture and the conditioning of our history. Every day we need to find fresh faith for new discoveries.

I believe exactly what God is calling us to a uniqueness and each of us to really be ourselves and utterly original. Original, unique realities are inside each of us! Many of us don't realise how much uniqueness is in us!

We often take the definition of who we are from other people's perspectives. We let other people define us!

From 30 years ago I had people saying to me; "I am telling you - you are an evangelist". Okay I am an evangelist. Someone else would say to me; "Rob I am telling you - you are a teacher". They would say it to me like they were the final authority! Okay I am a teacher - so I would try and teach. Then they would say; "No Rob - I am telling you - you are a prophet". Oh okay so I would try and prophesy. Then they would say; "No Rob - you are a psalmist when you lead worship". Okay great I'm a psalmist. A few would actually say; "No you are a pastor!". None said I was an administrator! Then some said I was an apostle! So I was living like a religious schizophrenic! Who am I!? I am an administrator of chaos! Then people would say - no you are an artist, a poet.

One day Bill Hamon - a wonderful prophet from the United States of America. He had never met me before and then one day laid his hands on me and said; "I have given you elements of the apostolic, elements of the prophetic, elements of the teacher, elements of the pastor, elements of the apostle, elements of the evangelist, elements of the psalmist". And I said; "Praise God for a word from heaven!". I want to say the same thing over all of you. God has given you diversity and elements in your uniqueness! I am telling you that if you believe you are pigeon-holed to a tight category then in your faith you will stay in that box and think you are being original.

Don't copy and mimic other people! We are called to imitate their faith - not mimic their methods! And there is a big difference.

We are more inside of us and becoming more as unique individuals than we realise. It is never too late to have a happy childhood!

When a chameleon stands on different colours - the chameleon becomes those colours. Paul the apostle says; "I become all things to all men to win some to Christ". Some may say - oh that's a politician, changing his colours to the political agenda of the day. No - hold on. Politicians move in fear to cater to their constituancy. They are so insecure that they want to be voted in again. That is not a chameleon. If you've watched a chameleon he does not change his colours out of fear but to be a successful hunter. He doesn't get eaten by predators like that - he gets close to his prey and out comes the tongue and he takes it out. When he touches a different colour. The colour-change doesn't come from the outside artificially. For within the chameleon is the capacity to become the colour of any colour he is standing on at that present time.

So if you don't know whether you are a poet then stand on a poetic colour. If you don't know whether you are prophetic then stand in a prophetic environment and you may see something inside of you become prophetic. If you don't know whether you are apostolic or not then stand in an apostolic environment Mr-oh-chameleon. Don't shrink your life! It is not an office you are to be unique in! You can be a whole diversity of rainbow things. It is where you express those rainbow things through the uniqueness of your personality that is most important.

What a conference this has been! What clear teaching! I think some of us had to learn that prophets have to sit under teachers for a while and just stop prophesying for a while and stop going up into the heavens and sit and hear truth sequentially unpacked. So what if there isn't any mighty manifestations going on for a while? We should not get bored so quickly with clear revelation of God's Word!

If the prophetic movement doesn't anchor itself in clear teaching then this prophetic movement is heading into New Age silliness.

I promise you guys, if we just have teaching, teaching, teaching then we are moving into dryness. We need both. We have had a great Ephesians 4 teacher among us - then Fini and Isi - what can you say? I have known them for 31 years and knew they have gone up levels in the Spirit but I thought I don't know them! They are in something I want! I want more of what they have! That is some of the highest level prophetic ministry and revelation that I have ever in my life been exposed to. The realms of God in this room and are still in this room by the way - was just out of this world. I believe the revelation of last night on giving became so clear to me - Paul speaks about "excelling in the grace of giving".

In this grace movement God has already given us generous hearts. Now we can excel in the grace of giving. Now the sowing and reaping is no longer works. It is not making God respond to us - He has already moved for our prosperity! He has given us seeds and we can sow!

It is interesting that on Andrew Wommack's website - he has all the sowing and reaping teaching there all free to download. Saturate yourself in this thing! What a conference it has been! A super-tsunami didn't destroy Hong Kong. It went somewhere else. I am sorry for Taiwan. A challenging budget has been dealt with by the grace of God. We have gone beyond the budget so we have money for the gospel and lives have been changed already.

I want you to the book of Hebrews please. Hebrews chapter 5. I am going to stand here today as a chameleon and I don't know how this will come out - as a teacher, or as prophetic - but it doesn't really matter!

Jesus said that man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. "Proceeds" is a present, continuous tense. This book is the word that (past tense) "proceeded" out of the mouth of God. So we are going to read what has already come out of God's mouth thousands of years ago. As we speak the word that has proceeded (in the past) the proceeding Word of God will personally rise up in each of your spirits and the Lord will talk to you - different messages. Different and unique proceeding words will rise up as we listen to the Word that has proceeded.

I want to deal with a scripture that the devil has used to undermine people in the revelation of faith and rob them of their confidence. Many of us know that the Old Covenant was written to strip people of their confidence and their self-righteousness. The New Covenant was written to fill us with confidence in our God and to understand how boldly we can approach Him with full assurance of faith even when we have messed up the most.

Where sin abounds, grace does much more abound and your sin can never supersede the grace of God EVER again! Your sin - your mistakes - can never break or block your fellowship with God - it is open heaven 100% all the time!

So that is a confidence booster - any time you read the perfumed letters of the New Covenant and you get confused or loosing your confidence in God, you are not rightly exegeting the Word of God. You are not rightly interpreting the Word of God. Confident people are creative people! Confident people are initiative people - they move out with initiative. Confident people attract wealth and attract prosperity. They attract the blessing of God!

They get over disappointment and discouragement far quicker than people who are not confident. There are Christians who go through the same disappointments you do but it takes them months, sometimes even years to get to stand before God again and say "Lord I am with this assignment again". Confident people go through excruciating disappointments, abandonments, rejections, horrific tales and within a short time are on their feet and going forward again with holy, naive, virgin-like purity and with a total absence of cynicism and skepticism.

What is the sand in the machinery of the church world? Cynicism and skepticism. Where does it come from? "I was hurt - I was rejected - I was disappointed". Please! Get over that by replacing that with how wonderfully you have been accepted in Christ Jesus! Let your definition of confidence be based on Who is FOR you and not who is against you! For if God be for you - WHO can be against you?!

If you have people who worship the ground you walk on and wash your feet every day - but God is against you, then you are finished! But if 20 million are against you and God is for you - you are guaranteed to fulfill the will of God!

People who lose their confidence cannot stay encouraged, bold and going forward. I lovingly say this. I hate the casualty rate in the church. I hate how many of our brothers and sisters are not going to church anymore and are cynical and skeptical.

I am NOT talking about going to a legalistic church. Friends - I could not go to a legalistic church! Let me make that plain.

But how many are hurt and; "Oh the church is so toxic and life is so hard and it's not fair and God didn't come through for me - what kind of God is He?". There are multiple millions licking their wounds and so full of self-centredness and self-pity that I hate the fact that this has happened.

A lot of this is because the gospel of grace has not been clearly taught and they have lost their confidence in the goodness of God and got hurt and disappointed and rejected and abused and have no where to anchor their hope in. They say; "If man has rejected me and God is angry with me then I don't want anything more to do with Christianity".

So I am going to read this Scripture that the devil has used over and over again. I am going to unpack this in whatever time it takes. It is not because I want to preach long - that's not the issue friends! The issue is that we have to unpack the Scripture today in sequence and in context. I hope this is a coaching lesson on how to read the Bible. Do get Wayne Duncan's book on "A Matter of Life and Death - How to interpret the New Testament so you are not confused". Get that book! If you get any book - get that book! I have sat across the table to leaders who have invited me to come and speak to them about the gospel of grace. I have gone like an innocent lamb to the ambush! You sit there and realise this isn't a question to learn but an interrogation! The only difference is that they haven't stripped me naked and tied my hands behind my back with handcuffs and put a bright light on me and prodded me with electricity!

They ask me a question; "Well what about this?" and half way through answering it, they ask you the next question and take extreme interpretations of what we teach. "If this woman is married to this man and he dies and then she marries another and he dies and she marries again and he dies then who is she married to?".

I would say the next man she marries must be suicidal or stupid!

So Jesus is not going to be interrogated! He answered them and said "We are like the angels and won't have sex in heaven". I'm sorry to say that but we won't and you won't miss it either - I promise you! So I realised that we should not let people besiege us with these questions within questions. Questions are good. The message provokes lots of questions and questions are good. We need to ask and search and get to the truth! But questions within questions that have a demonic agenda to interrogate and confuse are wrong. I am not saying I get confused by them - but they are sitting there with an agenda to go back to their people and say "We are into heresy". There was never an open Bible expositing truth!

So this verse is often thrown out. "What about Hebrews 6:4-6"?! So can we open our Bibles and go from Hebrews chapter 1 and see all that lies before? No - we have been held hostage to a verse instead of accepting and embracing the whole New Covenant and the types and shadows of the Old Covenant.

So we are in a grace revolution that is producing mighty signs and wonders and increased glory. If we are not theologically astute we in serious trouble.

There are already signs of trouble in some places of grace - not in what we are involved in - but they are getting into some stupid things. They are saying things like; "If anyone asks you for sex and you don't give it to them then it means you are not free". That is happening in certain grace movements! Or "I don't need to go to church anymore or read my Bible because I just walk in the Spirit". That is stupid! We need to know the Word of God really well - and Isi de Gersigny has got a part to play in what I am going to teach today. I will tell you why.

Let's go to Hebrews 6 and I will read the verse and we will exposit from chapter 5. Hebrews 6:4;

"For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, and have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, if they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame".

Now when I read that verse my soul just sings with joy because I know what Paul is saying. I really believe Paul wrote the Book of Hebrews because he came and told me the other night! No. The reason I believe it is very likely it is Paul (and we know it is the Holy Spirit) is because none of the other apostles used the brilliant method of comparison that Paul does. In all his letters he always shows the inferiority of the Old Covenant law and the superiority of New Covenant grace. So he always uses that comparison to keep it in your face to make us say; "What was I thinking going back to law?! It's ridiculous! It's weak and useless - Hebrews 7 says!".

We are now going to go to Hebrews 5 and go from verse 1 and I want to ask you at the end of this message - I will ask you the amount of times that Paul said the word "Perfect".

This is all about perfection. God requires perfection and nothing less. That ends any kind of stupid legalistic-based performance religion. God requires 100%, every split second perfection.

So there is the end of all striving - give up before you start! So let's read. How many of you are ready for a feast? Hebrews 5:1;

"For every high priest taken from among men is appointed on behalf of men in things pertaining to God, in order to offer both gifts and sacrifices for sins".

Alright it is very clear right here that what Paul is speaking about is that there is a high priest appointed to represent man to God or matters of God on gifts and sacrifices for sins. The Bible is saying is that God did not judge the individual sins of Israel or the individual lies but appointed a high priest to represent all of them. Obviously if there was a high priest that was perfect and a sacrifice that was perfect then everyone would be perfectly represented and everyone would be perfect continually every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every year forever and ever - perfect. But Israel never had a perfect high priest before Jesus or a perfect sacrifice. So continually wrath and judgement came.

But God was sending up in that type and shadow to show that if there could be a perfect high priest with a perfect sacrifice then all of us could stand before the Father perfect forever in His eyes. Let's look at verse 2;

" ... he can deal gently with the ignorant and misguided, since he himself also is beset with weakness".

Now friends I love the word "gentle" there! This high priest under a harsh system of the law - yet was to deal gently with those who were ignorant and going astray! Now in Hebrews 6 we read that it is impossible to restore those who have fallen away and we are teaching under a superior covenant, that if you fall away far enough (we don't know how far "far" is) but if you fall away far enough then you cannot be restored to the perfect high priest Jesus. Under the Old Covenant with imperfect sacrifices and an imperfect high priest - you could be dealt with gently and lovingly when you were ignorant and go astray.

How many see something wrong with that picture right there? Hebrews 4 says we have a High Priest who is touched and sympathises with our weaknesses. He was tempted in all points of sin yet never gave into sin. He is perfect and without sin! He doesn't act gently towards us because He is weak like the Old Covenant high priests. He acts gently towards us because we are weak and He is gracious and compassionate. Now we are going to read that Jesus while He walked this earth had two identities and we are going to see what those two identities are. This is a revelation to prepare you for Hebrews 6 because the Bible is written in sequence to prepare you for what's coming. Alright - verse three. This is why he has to offer sacrifices;

" ... and because of it he is obligated to offer sacrifices for sins, as for the people, so also for himself. And no one takes the honor to himself, but receives it when he is called by God, even as Aaron was. So also Christ did not glorify Himself so as to become a high priest, but He who said to Him, "YOU ARE MY SON, TODAY I HAVE BEGOTTEN YOU" (Identity Number 1); just as He says also in another passage, "YOU ARE A PRIEST FOREVER ACCORDING TO THE ORDER OF MELCHIZEDEK."

Now you can read casually over those verses and miss the vital, pivotal point. Jesus was operating in two identities - as Son and as High Priest. Got that? Alright let's go to the next verse - verse seven;

"In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His piety. Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered. And having been made perfect, He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation".

I remember reading this years ago when I was under a mixture of law and grace and going; "God! How can Jesus be MADE perfect by what He suffered? Wasn't He perfect all the time?". Well of course in His identity as a Son He was born perfect. A virgin birth and He lived perfect without sin. He was totally perfect all the time so why did He need to be perfected and how was He perfected? He needed to be perfected as our great High Priest. And how did He get perfected as our great High Priest? By taking our sins. The perfect Son without sin became the perfect offering of the perfect High Priest.

In His suffering at the Cross He became our perfect High Priest and perfect sacrifice! Now it says; "To all those who obey Him". So some Christians go; "Oh there we go!".

If you are looking at the New Testament through those lenses of performance then you read it into everything. That word; "Obey" is used all over the New Testament simultaneously or in the same way as "faith".

In Galatians 5:7, Paul says; "Who cut in on you? Who's agitating you that you do not obey the truth?". They were trying to get the Galatians to obey the law. Paul says if you are trying to obey the law then you are not obeying the truth of the Gospel! What is the truth of the Gospel? To obey "I have it all now by faith and I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus!". You need to know what these things mean so that any time you open the New Testament you are never afraid and go; "Oh no that contradicts everything!". I have seen people go to Glory conferences and I am a chameleon that steps on the prophetic and I become prophetic and can see in people's hearts they are running around the building harder than anyone else and jumping higher and are experiencing God's Presence but you can see they are so insecure because someone hasn't taught them clear enough by opening the Word of God in sequence!

Yes you can throw out a word of revelation here or there and something strikes their spirits and they go; "Wow I can see that!" but they need to see it more and more in the context of the whole picture of the New Testament! Then we can run around the building and jump over walls and scream and laugh and the power of God manifests and we become secure!

We don't need those manifestations to be secure - we walk in those manifestations because we ARE secure.

So He became our source of eternal salvation by suffering on the Cross - He was perfected as our High Priest by perfectly eradicating all sin and judgement and wrath. If you look at Hebrews chapter 10 quickly and reading from v1-4;

"For the Law, since it has only a shadow of the good things to come and not the very form of things, can never, by the same sacrifices which they offer continually year by year, make perfect those who draw near. Otherwise, would they not have ceased to be offered, because the worshipers, having once been cleansed, would no longer have had consciousness of sins? But in those sacrifices there is a reminder of sins year by year. For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins".

(v11);

"Every priest stands daily ministering and offering time after time the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins but He, having offered one sacrifice for sins for all time, SAT DOWN AT THE RIGHT HAND OF GOD, waiting from that time onward UNTIL HIS ENEMIES BE MADE A FOOTSTOOL FOR HIS FEET.

(v14) "For by one offering He has perfected for all time (perfected forever, forever!) those who are sanctified".

(v17) - "AND THEIR SINS AND THEIR LAWLESS DEEDS I WILL REMEMBER NO MORE." (v18) - "Now where there is forgiveness of these things, there is no longer any offering for sin".

Very, very important - the perfect High Priest offered the perfect sacrifice to END all sacrifices! So it is impossible to have any more sacrifices if you fall away - you don't need them! Let's move now back to Hebrews 5 and the next verse (v10);

" ... being designated by God as a high priest according to the order of Melchizedek".

A totally indestructible line - that is the power of his High Priesthood.

(v11) "Concerning him we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing".

Now what has Paul got "much to say" on? He has got much to say about how glorious our High Priest is! He has got much to say about how perfect you are forever! He has got much to say that your sins and lawless acts - God will not remember anymore! He has got much to say that we can draw near with full assurance of faith in confidence and not feel shame or guilt when you have messed up! He has got much to say about this - but he says; "You guys can't receive this because you are dull!". You are slow of learning! He will tell us why they are slow of learning. They are not stupid people or low IQ. The Book of Hebrews was written to Hebrews - very clever people!

It was not written to Gentiles who had never been under the law. It was written to people that had either heard the message of grace and the message of truth but continued to take the blood of bulls and goats and insult the blood of Jesus by the Spirit of grace.

Their sin was to make the blood of bulls and of goats and the law system superior to the blood of Jesus.

That's Hebrews 10. If you continue in sin there is no sacrifice left for sin but only wrath and judgement. You have insulted the Spirit of grace and have trampled the sacrifice of Jesus under foot. Those who are Hebrews who have heard the truth but have not been born again. So their sin is not generic sin but a specific sin of unbelief in the goodness of God and choosing the blood of bulls and goats above the blood of Jesus. THAT is insulting the Spirit of grace! All they have to do is stop their continual sin of unbelief and say "Lord I believe the gospel!" - they will be born again and no more wrath - ever again!

In this chapter he is talking to believers who are in Christ and are Jewish people but are still confused with the mixture. The temple is still there and the law and blood sacrifices. They are confused. Paul is saying to them; "You are still in the milk of the Word".

I want to say something to you that a lot of people teach and we are going to depart from the traditional teachings and the traditional position in a moment. It is as great a rip away from the traditional position as Martin Luther's rip away from justification by works. How many know that the reformation is not over yet?

Truth is being continued! We are not making up a new truth or making up a new gospel! We are finding the real gospel!

Will the real gospel please stand up - because the nations need it!

An inadequate or false gospel is no gospel at all and it can deceive millions!

You can hear an inadequate gospel and be born again but you will live like you are in hell (on your way to heaven). Millions are saved by an inadequate gospel but they need to hear the fullness of this wonderful truth in context so their salvation can be a manifest experience to them.

The milk of the Word that they are in - is not the basics of New Covenant truth. I will show in a minute that the laying on of hands, faith towards God, baptism - is not New Covenant. He is talking about Old Covenant bondage that hinders you, makes you dull of learning, slow to learn, keeps a veil over your heads. He will show them that the milk is the preaching and teaching of the Law and the legal system.

He is about to say that the most difficult thing to reveal grace to is people who are living on diluted milk. When you dilute the law, you make people dull of hearing to grace. If you dilute the law then people get deceived into thinking that "I am okay" and pretty much keeping the law! But when you give them true milk - which is the trueness of the law then they will see that Jesus put the law into steroids! When people tell me that Jesus was a grace teacher before the Cross - I think; "You need your head examining!". Jesus preached the full-cream milk straight out of the udder of death and straight out of the udder of condemnation!

The New Covenant cannot start before the blood of the covenant has been spilt.

People are calling the New Covenant, the "four gospels". But the blood hasn't been spilt yet! How many covenants in the Bible (and there are seven) started before blood was spilt? Not one. Now we have people saying that the most important covenant started after John the Baptist. Come on now friends! The law and the prophets were all pressing in and prophesying before John - what were they prophesying about? Romans 3:21; "The Law and the prophets testify to a righteousness that is by faith apart from the law". They were testifying to the King who would come and bring this New Covenant - so the King had come in Luke 11 and had come as the fulfillment of the Law and the Prophets. But He had yet to go to the Cross and die and cut the covenant. He had yet to be perfected as our High Priest and you cannot have a New Covenant until the High Priest has been perfected!

In the Gospels He was the perfect Son but He was not yet the perfect High Priest. We have people demanding the Gospels are part of the New Covenant but the Son has not yet been perfected as High Priest. He was always the perfect Son in the gospels but He was not yet perfected as the High Priest.

Without a perfect High Priest, you are not perfect before God. God doesn't look at your individual sins - He looks at the one who represents you!

The Word of God is clear! Jesus did preach grace to humble people and Abraham's wonderful covenant. We have someone better than Abraham. But if you think reading the gospels will give you grace to feel safe then I don't know which gospels you are reading! I feel like by the time Jesus has finished I am on my way to hell! If the four gospels is the New Covenant then no one is going to heaven!

You shall be judged by every idle word you speak. How many of you speak idle words? You will be judged by those when you get to heaven. If that is the Gospel and New Covenant. If you look at a man or woman with lust in your heart then you are guilty of adultery. Some of you could have done that today - that is a death sentence right there. If you hate someone without cause then you have committed murder. That is a death sentence.

Come on! Cut your hands off - pluck your eyes out man! Better to enter heaven with no hands than to enter hell with two hands and two eyes! Is that good news?! If we really believe that is the New Covenant then we would have the whole church with both their eyes plucked out and both hands cut off and a whole lot of other things cut off as well!

In Adelaide, Australia a man literally went down to the beach from a seriously legalistic church and stabbed his eyes out. I know a man in the USA whose son of 18 was living under preachers preaching the law and saying the four gospels is the New Covenant, and he went to bed. His parents came the next morning and his sheets were full of blood - he had cut his penis off. Young men driven with hormones are sexually aware - it is not their fault it is testosterone! It is wasted not to deal with our sexuality in the grace of God. But I tell you - if I was a high powered New York lawyer I would sue some of the preaching from pulpits - it is criminal.

But I wouldn't do it because I've done it too in the past. I would also be going to jail with all the rest. We did it with good intention thinking we were being zealous for God but we were being dangerous. We need to know the Word clearly. People say; "Ooh the Beatitudes - they are so beautiful!". Read them again and see if that is the standard to win salvation then you are finished! I don't know a person on the planet who are living in all the fullness of the Beatitudes! "Blessed are you if you do this". What is He saying? "If you are not doing this - then cursed are you". He proves it right at the end of the Beatitudes in Matthew 5:20; "Woe to all of you if your righteousness does not exceed that of the Pharisees and Sadducees - you will not see the Kingdom of heaven!". These guys were the fanatics after the law - and He is saying that you have got to exceed it to get to heaven!

The reason why so many people are dull of hearing and slow to learn is because they have diluted the milk of the law. They are on basic principles going over and over them again and not moving onto the solid food of the gift of righteousness in Christ Jesus.

I said something at our first Glory and Grace Conference in 2007 and it freaked a few people out - I said the law is a composite unity. The whole law is indivisible. It is interconnected and a composite unity. James 2:10 says that if you keep some of the law but fail in any part of the law you are guilty of breaking all the law. "Perfect". Unless you have a perfect High Priest then you are finished!

Please hear this lovingly - the whole fundamental right wing part of the church (who Isi de Gersigny says she loves) do not know what they are doing. Jesus was put on the Cross by right wing fundamental church-goers. I did not know what I was doing when I was preaching law and grace! Yet He gave me grace.

Let's be careful when we judge - we are not to be grace Pharisees! "You preach any little bit of the law and I'm leaving this church!". Something is wrong with that picture if you are a grace person because then you must leave every single church on the planet! No one is preaching perfect grace yet!

We have paranoia in parts of the grace movement. Any lines in the song with law or control on - and they won't sing them! I think; "Come on man - become all things to all men to win some for Christ". Become a chameleon to hunt your enemy down. Become a chameleon to get the lost saved, make adjustments and be flexible - the whole church is in process towards fullness! I think that when we react to our past - we are holding our future hostage to our past. We are trying to chain our future to bad experiences in the past. People in congregations are trying to hold their leaders hostage because they have been abused in their past but some of the leaders have been abused in their past! Everyone is on a journey together and anything that sounds or smells like control gets reacted against! Leaders cannot abdicate leadership because they were appointed leaders and they are called leaders in the New Testament. It says those leaders who rule well are worthy of a double portion. The context was finances and honour. There is a governing well and a ruling well. When you have good leadership then you have holy chaos!

Leaders are to empower the holy priesthood - but they are to lead. Not to lead with a political spirit but to lead with control.

To see this grace movement accelerate forward we have got to break this spirit of paranoia and hurt in the past. After 2 or 3 years of being under grace, and we are easily offended or discouraged then grace hasn't worked in your heart. Just be honest! Say; "I need more grace in that area".

What Paul is saying is that by now - you need to have moved onto New Covenant freedom. You have heard it. You live in it. Don't go round these Old Covenant elemental teaching anymore. Move on to the understanding of the New Covenant and the gift of righteousness.

It says; "You have had so much milk but you need more milk" - what is he saying there? He is not saying going go back to the elemental teachings of the New Covenant! He is saying get the milk as full cream milk - let's dump the full cream milk of the law on you so much that you can see God demands a standard of perfection from you and your High Priest and if it is not there - then you had better leave the milk and go over to the New Covenant and righteousness as a gift!

Look at verse 12. "Though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary teaching of God's Word all over again. You need milk! Not solid food". In other words - let's put the law on you so intently that eventually you will go; "Oh my God - give me the fullness of the New Covenant and the solid food".

(v13); "Anyone who lives on the Law being still an infant is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness".

(v14); "But solid food is for the mature who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil". If you have been under law for long enough - you have trained yourself to distinguish between good and evil. What was the tree that Adam was commanded not to eat from? The tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Paul is saying if you have been under milk and are still dull of hearing on the gift of righteousness - then you need more milk! To really show you how perfect God requires you to be and the law requires you - when you see that, then you can move away from the law of the knowledge of good and evil and move into the training of the gift of righteousness.

Romans 1:16, 17; "I am not ashamed of the gospel for it is the power of God unto salvation - for in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed that is by faith from first to last". The gospel reveals a faith that is not by law or effort but from God that is revealed by revelation from first to last.

This revelation doesn't get you into the kingdom and then you have to go back under the law to stay in the kingdom. This is from first to last - just as you receive Christ, so walk in Him (Colossians 2:6).

Romans 3 - that there may be a righteousness that is apart from the law that is by faith.

Same with Romans 5 - which says where there is no law, sin is not credited to you. Romans 4 and 5 both say where there is NO law - God is not counting sin against you! Where there is no law - God is not imputing sin against you! Colossians 2:14; "God cancelled the law at the Cross" so from the time you came into Christ, God is not counting sin against you. Romans 4:8 says; "Blessed is the man who the Lord will not count sin against him!".

Romans 5:19 says God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself NOT counting men's sin against them. God made Him who knew no sin to be sin so that in Him we might be made the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus! These things are simple to us but if you are under a mixture of law and grace - then you are dull of hearing and struggling to teach these things. What you need is more cream milk to totally devastate all hope in that old system!

How did Jesus become our sin? Did He have to sin to become our sin? No! He was made our sin. Our sin was given to Him as a free gift from the Father. How were we made righteous? By doing righteous things? No! Our righteousness is a free gift from the Father. Romans 5:17; "We reign in life by receiving the free gift of righteousness". This teaching in righteousness is not self-righteousness - it is the GIFT of righteousness. It is not unrighteous behaviour vs righteous behavior. The teaching in righteousness is the gift of righteousness vs self-righteousness that comes from the milk.

Romans 10:4 says; "Christ is the end of the law so there may be a righteousness for all who believe".

We are now breaking all records - this could be the longest I've preached.

Those who are dull on a mixture of law and grace need to hear the law on steroids so they will RUN for the perfection of the great High Priest.

Now we are heading into Hebrews 6 - we have been sailing and we are now heading into Hebrews 6. This is how we need to read our Bibles - in context! Hebrews 6. By the way I have no problem in God speaking to our hearts and saying; "Turn to ...". He has done it many times - saying for example, turn to Hebrews chapter 3. While I've been praying I have turned there and He has spoken to my heart. But we do need to read the Bible in context so we can all be teachers. We are all called to be chameleons.

Hebrews 6:1; "Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ" (the law on steroids), let us press on to maturity". I want to tell you - the day you were born again you were fully mature. You are the full righteousness of God with no room for improvement. The Gospel produces fully mature sons of God - the instant you are born again. "Not laying again". There are people laying again and again - and he says; "Stop. Blast it out of the way - it's obsolete and redundant". "Repentance from acts that lead to dead works and faith in God ... resurrection ... ".

Now five years ago I believed that he was talking about foundational works in the New Covenant. Over the last period of time by God downloading revelation of understanding and illumination - I realised he is not talking about the foundational teaching of the New Covenant after the Cross - but the elemental milk teaching that make people dull!

He is teaching about the teachings that make people still need to be taught over and over again. Without being unkind if you look at congregations across the planet, you will see people in Christ for 10 and 20 years who are sulking brats who are easily offended, jealous, envious - why? We think Hebrews 6:1-2 are talking about foundational teachings of the New Covenant - basic milk teaching.

But "faith in God" - surely that's teaching of the New Covenant? No! Faith in God under the Old Covenant is totally different to faith under the New Covenant!

So about five days ago I was wrestling in prayer going; "Dear God - I'm not getting up at a conference with a major departure from the traditions of the church!". Then I heard God say; "Well son - you've done it before - you did it a few years ago! You started saying things and thought you were a lone voice and you hadn't heard Joseph Prince or a whole load of other grace teachers!". I had to come to Hong Kong, walk the streets, read my Bible and I just knew something was on my life. On the runway sitting in Adelaide in the airport about to come and live in Hong Kong - and God said;

"Son you have been preaching a mixture of law and grace and a mixture of faith and works, flesh and Spirit, Old and New and Ishmael and Isaac, Saul and Paul - a mixture! From now on I want you to preach a pure stream of New Covenant grace; faith, Spirit, anointing and life!".

I didn't know what He meant! He began to reveal things and I began preaching things. Some were delighted and some were not that delighted! So He said; "You have been here before son - step out on the water!".

I said; "Lord - give me a sign! Confirm this to me! I need a sign - help me!". The next day I phoned Fini and Isi to check the schedule and Fini wasn't at home. Isi was and we had a great chat and she said; "Look I am just preparing a basic foundational course for believers and people with no understanding and I went to Hebrews 6:1 to go through foundation teaching. I was starting to prepare and God spoke to me and said; "These are NOT New Covenant elemental truths! These are Old Covenant elemental truths!". I kissed Isi through the phone and said; "YES!".

So I knew - I am going to preach this at Glory and Grace. I kept thinking; "Maybe I shouldn't - maybe I shouldn't". I am so enjoying sitting here and hearing the others preach.

1. Repentance from Dead Works.

So I am going to show you - repentance that leads to death, or repentance from dead works. Repentance from dead ceremonies, or repentance from dead works - is doing things to earn God's favour. Doing things over and over again to get God to love you. The question under the law - was; "Lord - am I pleasing enough to you?". The question under our High Priest who represents us is; "Father - is Jesus pleasing enough to you?". The answer is obviously; "Yes!". Then we are okay - because we are in Him! Repentance from dead works is literally trying to do good things to get a result of God liking and loving you. We are not to be living our lives constantly in repentance; "Oh I did that; I am sorry". We are not to live in this constant state; "I did this; I did that; I am so sorry!". That is Old Covenant.

2. Faith in God.

What about faith in God? I want to say to you right now that faith in God of the Old Covenant is utterly different to the faith in God in the New Covenant. Let's quickly go to Hebrews chapter 11.

Hebrews 11 is about the great men and women of faith under the Old Covenant. They were great men and women of faith and did great things with their faith.

Let's look at verse 39;

"These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect".

There's that word again - perfect. So all these great men and women of faith did not receive what was promised. They had faith to do all kinds of things but their faith could not receive what was promised. What does God require? Perfection. Their faith could not receive perfection. Only through us - the New Covenant people together with us, can they be perfected. The next chapter goes on and says that we have this great cloud of witnesses around us. So we think; "Oh my God - these great men and women of faith looking at us and saying 'Where's your faith?!". We feel so inferior because we do not exegete the Scripture properly. They are not looking at us saying "Where's your faith?!". They are looking at us saying; "Wow! Look at the New Covenant faith! They are PERFECT!". They are looking from the realm of the glory and waiting for us so they can have their status and receive the promise that we have already received!

There is no place for arrogance. We don't need to lay that Old Covenant foundation of faith again because that will keep people dull and slow to learn. Then he goes on and speaks of the great cloud of witnesses and says;

"Let's throw off every weight and every hindrance".

I have heard a thousand speculations about what it is that hinders us. Habits. Sin. That weight - we must get rid! No! Read the Bible in context! He has spent 10 chapters talking about how useless and what a hindrance the LAW and religious system is! He is saying that they couldn't obtain it through that system! You have got something better - now obtain perfection in Christ Jesus and throw off what THEY had and what hindered them and don't carry on your back the weight that couldn't get these people of faith to where you have got in Christ Jesus in the New Covenant!

Crazy! We take these Scriptures out of context and talk of habits that I have. It is hindering me! Friends!

That is NOT what is hindering you! It is that very condemnation of the Law that is hindering you! We are not encouraging sin but when you are hindered - then you probably will sin a whole lot more!

Then he says; "And the sin that so easily entangles". What is this sin? He has just given a whole book on faith. "They did not enter because of faith". What is this sin? It is not generic sin but specific sin - it is the sin of unbelief in the goodness of God and in the goodness of our high priest.

Then he is going to say; "Listen stop trying to have faith - put all that blooming Old stuff and weights and laws and put it all off and run with patience". Not looking to have faith or trying to have faith! But looking to Jesus the author and perfecter of faith! The NIV says; "Our" faith but it is not in the Greek. "To Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith". So we have a high priest who authors our faith. You didn't author your faith. Your High Priest - HE is the originator and the perfecter! You need perfect faith to be perfectly saved!

Some say; "Am I really saved - I don't know if I have enough faith!?".

No - there is someone called your High Priest that represents you on all matters relating to God and He has perfect faith and is the author and perfecter of faith and so because of Him you have perfect faith before a perfect God and you are perfect in your High Priest!

I want to say a few things about this.

Old Covenant faith is me trying to please God. New Covenant faith is something God gives to me and something that Jesus has on my behalf. Jesus has faith for you. And Jesus has faith IN you.

Did you know that our New Covenant High Priest is better than the Old Covenant priest that failed? He dealt gently with those who are ignorant and went astray - this perfect High Priest is touched with the feelings of our infirmities and He sympathises with you. He has faith for you - but listen to me. He has faith IN you.

I want to say something life-changing here. Your life is not primarily or essentially changed by who you believe in. Your life is essentially changed by Who believes in you.

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Unblocking Old Wells

As you will see from the last couple of wells I have been working through remembering and re-discovering my personal relationship with God that I have allowed the stresses and business of life to erode. Yesterday was a glorious rediscovery of just how easy it is! And a glorious reminder of the wonderful free grace of God - that you do not have to pay penance to a sulky God because you have been away for so long but actually as soon as you turn to Him and seek Him and Him alone you find His arms are open wide.

I wanted to build on that today. It was a frustrating day because I was geared up to work tonight but the night shift got cancelled in the end. So I took to reading through some of my dusty old sermon notebooks. I am so, so grateful that we were taught to take notes as children in church! There is so much amazing truth there. For example I found notes from a sermon preached by my senior pastor Dr Stanley Jebb in Dunstable on 3rd May 1998 on "The Church in Thyatira". Here are the notes:

The promise of God that really caught my eye was from verse (v26). "He who overcomes, I will give unto him power over the nations". Stanley Jebb comments on the verse;

"It seems that there are those who are faithful who will be given responsibility and authority".

It seems to me that God is promising something amazing here! If we are faithful - if we hold on and keep believing and do not allow the cynicism of life to erode our faith in Him then we will be given power over the nations - to further advance the Kingdom of God of course. I think Stanley was typically too cautious in his interpretation of that verse. Jebb allows for "responsibility and authority" whereas the verse mentions; "the nations". Whatever the case this is an exciting promise! And one we must not forget! Another reason to hold on!

I hope to share more promises or discoveries from my notebooks as I find them! It is good - even in a "day of small things" when nothing much seems to be happening there is a right and appropriate time to go back to the pile of stones in the Jordan and remember the great works and the promises of God!

Monday, August 16, 2010

The Dilemma of Prevailing Prayer

To most Christians the issue of "prayer" can range from extremes - one extreme is an awesome blessing made possible by the Cross of Christ and the glory of the Gospel. The other extreme is possibly one that not many Christians will admit to and that is a massive source of legalistic guilt and shame because many feel they are not measuring up to "standards" (mainly extra-biblical standards set by other Christians).

I've had a few thoughts brewing for a while now and wanted to express them. I have prayed in varying degrees and measures as long as I can remember as a Christian. My earliest recollection of prayer was when I was about 12 (around 1990) and I was on a paper round praying for revival in Dunstable - my home town. I have my pastor Dr Stanley Jebb to thank for that - a passion for revival was inbred in us from an early age. As yet - that prayer hasn't been answered.

I've prayed for the conversion of one of my best friends - Scott. That's been answered gloriously at the "Together on a Mission Conference" in Brighton in 2005! He was definitely and wonderfully touched by God and then again in 2006 under Rob Rufus's amazing ministry during one of his seminars. So there's one of the most wonderful prayers answered - a soul saved!

But conversely again - I endured the most hideous experience of my life working at Acorns Children's Hospice in Birmingham where I felt bullied by the management and staff. It was quite upsetting to hear on a local radio station an advert for Acorns stating, "Acorns is a wonderful place to be". NOT my personal experience! Working there pushed me possibly the closest to suicide I have ever been. I was persuaded to take a grievance out against Acorns which was then promptly dismissed - half accepting that the management "could" have reacted to my concerns faster. My point being - I prayed constantly throughout the 13 months I was there for God to intervene and to turn the situation around. He didn't.

Then take the experience with Sovereign Grace Ministries here in the UK! Again an awful experience for a time and one that very nearly led to me cutting my family off and departing to begin a new life without them. I struggled so much with the fact that my family appeared to stand with the church leaders against me. The night before the meeting I had recently with the Sovereign Grace pastors Pete Day and I prayed together and we admitted before God we didn't have the faith to pray for a glorious miracle - a reconciliation. We went with no faith whatsoever. And yet God intervened - and wonderfully reconciled us all! And I am now welcome back in Bristol at my parent's church!

So my dilemma;

1. Revival - God hasn't answered - yet.
2. Scott's conversion - God answered!
3. My experience at Acorn's Children's Hospice - God didn't answer (or said "No").
4. My experience with SGM Bristol - I didn't pray and yet God answered wonderfully!

It doesn't seem logical does it? Calvinists (even though I am one-ish) tend to retire behind the "sovereignty of God" and put it all down to Him. If God answered - He wanted to. If He didn't - He didn't. Frankly that seems like a cop-out to me and actually seems contrary to the Word of God. Let's consider these verses on prayer;

1. Obviously prayer is instructed in the New Testament: Colossians 4:2; 1 Thessalonians 5:17

2. But it cannot be denied that prayer is the God-given means to obtain what God has to freely give: Matthew 7:7-11; Matthew 9:24-29; Luke 11:13.

3. The Bible allows for the fact that prayer is often motivated by need: James 5:13. And one of my favourite verses on prayer: Matthew 7:11: "Jesus says, "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him."

4. Above all and the Puritans would argue - most importantly - prayer is communion with God. This (I think) is the key to understanding prayer. Jesus spent hours in prayer - and how ridiculous to even imagine this was anything but pure joy to Him. He spent hours in prayer because He loved His Father above all. I must admit I found myself imagining what those hours in prayer between the Son of God and the Father were like. Was it even CLOSE to my prayer times - me talking and silence from heaven (it seems)? It can't be so! I imagine a loving conversation between Father and Son. One speaking - one listening - and vice versa.

There is no one I more enjoying turning to for advice than C H Spurgeon on prayer. I think Spurgeon describes the experience of many Christians so well;

"We spend the time allotted, but we rise from our knees unrefreshed, like a man who has lain upon his bed but has not slept so as to really recover his strength. When the time comes round again conscience drives us to our knees, but there is not sweet fellowship with God. There is no telling out of our wants to him in the firm conviction that he will supply them. After having gone again through a certain round of customary utterances, we rise from our knees perhaps more troubled in conscience and more distressed in mind than we were before. There are many Christians, I think, who have to complain of this".

Spurgeon suggests positively;

A. There should be a specific object of desire for prayer.

"My brethren, we often ramble in our prayers after this, that, and the other, and we get nothing because in each we do not really desire anything. We chatter about many subjects, but the soul does not concentrate itself upon any one object ... Did we ask an audience at Her Majesty's court, we should be expected to reply to the question, "What do you wish to see her for?" We should not be expected to go into the presence of Royalty, and then to think of some petition after we came there. Even so with the child of God. He should be able to answer the great question, "What is thy petition and what is thy request, and it shall be done unto thee?".

Rambling - oh how often have I heard rambling at prayer meetings! Some Christians seem to be blessed with the gift of praying long, laborious and often pointless prayers.

B. There must be perspective in our prayers.

Spurgeon urges us to "Look above";

"Once more look up and rejoice. Though you have sinned against him he loves you still. Ye have not prayed unto him nor sought his face, but behold he cries to you still—"Seek ye my face;" and he saith not "Seek ye me in vain." Ye may not have gone to the fountain, but it flows as freely as before. Ye have not drawn near to God, but he waiteth to be gracious still, and is ready to hear all your petitions".

I think that we have to admit a glorious mystery in prayer. I suspect (and I could be wrong) that God delighted to answer the un-spoken prayer of Pete and mine with the SGM situation because it brought glory to Him. I don't know why He didn't answer the Acorns situation or the revival cry from so many thousands. Maybe He yet will. All this speaks to remind me that He is God and cannot be tied down. But the key thing - communion. He invites us to pray to get to know Him because when we speak to Him - He speaks back. Conversation is two-way!

I share this - simply to say that I walk on in the challenge of prayer seeking to know Him better!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Awake O Zion!!

I had a post written about my current dilemmas and thoughts on "Total Forgiveness" and was planning to post that - but was just sorting through my email inbox after my week away in Spain and was reading some of Terry Virgo's most recent blogs. This post caught my eye because it reminded me of a fab song we used to sing as kids that went;

"Awake, awake O Zion - come clothe yourself with strength! Put on your garments of splendour - O Jerusalem".

The blog post of Terry's is working through the book of Jonah and he wrote;

"The church is God’s messenger to a storm-tossed world. She holds the keys to the nations. She knows the answers that everybody needs to hear. How can the church sleep while the world is agonizing with such colossal pressures? How can she drift while people’s hearts are failing on every side? Suicides, drug addiction, mindless brutality, abused children, elderly people terrified to answer their doorbells at night – what a world we live in. How can the church, God’s prophetic voice to the nations, become so purposeless and fall asleep?".

Sleep. Am I sleeping spiritually and personally? Is the church sleeping spiritually and corporately? It's not something you hear suggested very often. But if we are sleeping then who is acting as God's watchmen for the world? If we are sleeping spiritually then no wonder the prophetic is so lacking in passion and strength. The one prophetic word that we may not be actually hearing from God is;

"Wake up!".

Terry went on;

"Today, God wants you to share His anguish. ‘Look at those huge cities: London, Birmingham, Manchester …’ he’d say. ‘Their wickedness has come up before me, and I’m angry at their sin, but I love the people and long to show them compassion and mercy. Take the gospel to them. I want to display my love and power in your cities, to give them the opportunity to repent.’ Are you personally obeying God in this great commission, or have you fallen asleep?".

Waking up. Maybe that is the central word to my current situation. And the response? Terry Virgo's next blog post brings a response to that; "Help!".

"‘Help!’ That’s where you start. You don’t begin by trying to work out exactly how God might want to be addressed – ‘I beseech thee, almighty God, creator of the universe …’ You don’t begin by reviewing your own unworthiness and the various sins you’ve committed since you drifted away. There are times when urgency totally eclipses formality".

Too often Christians judge those struggling because they speak or write or act angrily. Such people are often seen as rebellious or backsliding - whereas actually could it be possible that "urgency is eclipsing formality"?

I love these next few words. These are the words of a pastor.

"‘Help!’ is a cry God will not ignore. You could be restored to God as you read these words. Why don’t you cry to him for help even now, at this very moment?".

And the next stage? Well Terry answers that in his next post; "What I have vowed I will make good".

"Jonah – far removed from God’s will, alone, tired and miserable – prayed, ‘What I have vowed I will make good.’ In that moment, as if a severed electric cable had been rejoined to its source, there was light, power, revelation and a shout of assurance, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord’ (Jonah 2:9). His declaration triggered an immediate response in heaven".

Have you (like me) forgotten some of the promises you made to God in the initial rushes of "first love" towards Him? Have you forgotten how strong you felt - how passionate you felt about reaching the lost and changing the world for God? Has constant weariness, battle and cynicism worn you down so that you (like me) have become bitter and disappointed and wondering at times whether God too has forgotten the promises He made you?

I'm ready to take a risk and hope that electric cable will be rejoined to it's source. I am so so grateful for Terry Virgo and his faithful prophetic ministry that just manages to speak to exactly where you are at.

1. Wake up!

2. Cry "Help!".

3. Remember "What I have vowed I will make good".

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

The Best Wine is STILL to Come!!

I'm having a pretty rough time at the moment still believing in the church. I had a few rough emails today that I won't go into right now. But once again I found myself wondering why it seems to me that the world accept and welcome and appreciate and value - but the church seems to disprove, doubt and discourage whereever possible. So how do we react to a feeling like that? I suppose I could wallow in my frustration and disappointment but how would that value the waiting nations who need to hear the gospel?

My take tonight is to remind myself of the glorious church - to re-state the vision! It's something I've done now and again on this blog. And I am so, so grateful to God for heroes of the faith who state it far better than I and who see it far clearer than I. Tonight - C H Spurgeon is my companion, my encouragement, my guide.

1. Preaching a sermon called; "The Feast of the Lord" at New Park Street on November 28th 1858, Spurgeon said;

"There is better wine to come. We are in our privileges superior to patriarchs, and kings, and prophets. God has given us a brighter and a clearer day than they had; theirs was but the twilight of the morning, compared with the noon-day which we enjoy. But think not that we are come to the best wine yet. There are more noble banquets for God's church; and who knoweth how long, ere the best of the precious wine shall be broached? Know ye not that the King of Heaven is coming again upon this earth?".

"Again, he will not give us the best wine first, because that is not his good pleasure ... Again; your Father doth not give you the good wine now, because he is giving you an appetite for it ... Again, the Lord hath this also in view. He is making you fit for the best wine, that he may be glorified by the trial of your faith".


I love Spurgeon's closing remark;

"I have never seen heaven anywhere but close to Calvary. When I have seen my Saviour crucified, then I have seen him glorified; when I have read my name written in his blood, then I have seen afterwards my mansion which he has prepared for me. When I have seen my sins washed away, then I have seen the white robe that I am to wear for ever. Live near to the Saviour, man, and you shall not be very far off heaven. Recollect, after all, it is not far to heaven. It is only one gentle sigh, and we are there. We talk of it as a land very far off, but close it is, and who knows but that the spirits of the just are here to-night? Heaven is close to us; we cannot tell where it is, but this we know, that it is not a far off land. It is so near, that, swifter than thought, we shall be there, emancipated from our care and woe, and blessed for ever".

2. An aspect of the glorious church is vitally and essentially a MILITANT church - preaching a sermon called; "The Vanguard and Rereward of the Church" on December 28th 1858, Spurgeon said;

"Yet nevertheless, the church on earth has, and until the second advent must be, the church militant, the church armed, the church warring, the church conquering".

The reason for our triumphant confidence? Spurgeon says;

"Christ has gone before us, he has done something in that going before, for he has conquered every foe that lies in his way. Cheer up now thou faint-hearted warrior. Not only has Christ travelled the road, but he has slain thine enemies. Dost thou dread sin? he has nailed it to his cross. Dost thou dread death? he has been the death of Death. Art thou afraid of hell? he has barred it against the advent of any of his children; they shall never see the gulf of perdition. Whatever foes may be before the Christian, they are all overcome".

How can we NOT be confident?! Christ has gone before us! The sin that some religious Pharisees may seek to accuse us of has already been gloriously nailed to the Cross!

3. Spurgeon continues the militant glorious theme in his sermon; "Storming the Battlements" preached on September 16th 1855;

But he brings a note of warning first;

"God's church is very fond of building walls which her God has not sanctioned. She is not content to trust in the arm of God, but she will add thereto some extraneous help which God utterly abhors. "Beautiful for situation—the joy of the whole earth—is Mount Zion, upon the sides of the north, the city of the great king. As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, even so is God round about his people, from henceforth, for evermore." But his people are not content with God's being round about them, they seek some other protection".

That leaves me feeling encouraged and driven. This is something worth fighting for. The demonic counterfeit - that which pretends to be "grace" but is in fact legalism designed to control and manipulate is worth resisting and is worth fighting. Because the reality is glorious! The reality is wonderful! The reality will sweep the nations and will see thousands come to faith and trust in the Wonderful Saviour who gave His life in love to see many sons come to glory!