I've been taking an unplanned and yet helpful break from blogging this last month or so. Unplanned because I don't really like the dramatic statements of some bloggers. I've always seen blogging as "writing down what you see". My understanding is to be honest -
If I'm not seeing anything in particular then why write just for the sake of it? So I've been doing quite a bit of thinking about my life and my relationship with God and where I've come from and where I'm going.
A key point about starting this blog was out of anger and frustration and hurt.
I had been thrown out of my parents church in Bristol unjustly and noone seemed interested in hearing my version of events.
I had a rude, cursory email from the SGM regional leader telling me I was wrong but he would "graciously" talk to me if I wanted. Unsurprisingly I didn't. So I wrote. It wasn't an easy thing to do and made me still unpopular with C J Mahaneys fans who think he can do no wrong. Then a few months ago I met with those leaders along with Pete Day and tried to put the past to rest. The meetings themselves were a real answer to prayer. I was welcomed back to church effectively ending the excommunication. I haven't been yet but will. I haven't heard another word from the SGM leaders making me wonder if
I've been filed in the "case closed" box!
But my point is that major part of my life is effectively dealt with and things are so so good with my family. It's great having that sense of peace that even though I wouldn't choose to go to their brand of church - that division is healed!
So that's the past.
Another aspect to my blogging has always been to focus on looking and hoping for God to act in mighty works of revival and to see
His Kingdom advance. I honestly confess to struggling to keeping faith in His sovereign
timing. The touches of heaven such as at Brighton or in Hong Kong have
almost made it worse! If I had never experienced the "not yet"
I would have settled for the "already"! But I know there is
more! I've seen and heard the undeniable touches of God! I've
heard the prophetic!
So I am seeking to stir myself to rise in faith again. Whether that is by getting
to transcribing Ern Baxter or Rob Rufus or trying something else - who knows! But if the status quo is it
till heaven then why don't we all end it now!? Because
I can't cope with life as it is. We need God to come down and make His Name famous around the globe!
So watch this space! The journey isn't over yet!