Larry Tomczak Finally Has His Say

Just when we thought there were no more twists and turns to the sorry Sovereign Grace Ministries story - Larry Tomczak has had his say on his website. Here's what he has to say.

THE TOMCZAK DEPARTURE FROM S.G.M. — WHAT REALLY HAPPENED?

— Larry and Doris Tomczak (November 2011)

As you read of our time with Sovereign Grace Ministries, we are sharing some traumatic experiences, yet endeavoring to do so accurately and redemptively. I want to say at the outset that I am not blameless, but I at times yielded to a spirit of fear when told I “lacked discernment” and was at times cowardly when I should have addressed unrighteous behavior. Where we participated in any unredemptive treatment of God’s people, we ask for your forgiveness. Over the years Doris and I have met with numerous people to ask forgiveness and people have been most gracious to us. Feel free to contact us if you feel a need to revisit any past experiences. Thank you in advance for your mercy and love. Let us unite in prayer that what we communicate will help many, bring healing and glorify our Lord Jesus Christ.

“But Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in God’s place? And as for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. So therefore do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones. So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.” Gen. 50:19-21

“Encountering departures and desertions from our ministries—we must see them as tutors—revealing our real motives and deficiencies in our methodology. These are tests from God. They will reveal our hearts.” -Dave Harvey, SGM Leader

Note: This quote appeared on the cover page of a paper I submitted to SGM leaders one year after our 1997 departure, “An Appeal for Repentance, Reconciliation and Closure.”

Five issues were highlighted at that time: 1) Pride, Sectarianism and Elitism 2) Self-righteousness and Judgmentalism 3) Blackmail and Intimidation 4) Lack of Integrity and Deceitfulness 5) Abuse of Spiritual Authority.

The paper cited the names of 61 former leaders who experienced mistreatment (the list is currently over 100) and included an appeal for a forum where “individuals with outstanding offenses and unresolved issues could be addressed…these issues will not simply fade away but will continue lingering for years until dealt with redemptively and honestly.” I received no response from any team leaders to the paper or appeal for adjudication. Date of submission: December 1998.

“The sins of some men are obvious, reaching the place of judgment ahead of them; the sins of others trail behind them.” (I Tim.5:24)

Next year I will celebrate God’s faithfulness in my 40th year of full-time Christian ministry. At this juncture I sensed it would be helpful to tell the story of a painful turning point in my life and ministry.

Recently, I wrote a “Statement of Reconciliation” with CJ Mahaney, attempting to be as gracious and discrete as possible regarding specifics. But as more details surfaced on the Internet it became apparent that God wanted everything in the light. Our experience is not an isolated case. It is probably one of the most egregious and ignominious examples of deceit and abusive behavior surfacing in SGM at this time. But it did not create the crisis. Instead, it revealed how root issues have been ignored and left unaddressed for too long. May we all proceed in humility and mercy, mindful of Prov. 28:13, “He who conceals his sin will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes his sin will obtain mercy.”

After 24 years of service in the DC area with the “Take and Give Ministry” (TAG), cofounding Covenant Life Church in our home and then serving in leadership in Fairfax Covenant Church, I with my family departed disappointedly, yet hopefully, for better things in Atlanta in 1996. We knew for a number of years that I was being marginalized in Sovereign Grace Ministries (formerly People of Destiny International) and when differences with Reformed doctrine began surfacing, the tension only increased.

At a youth rally in Atlanta, one of our teen-age sons responded along with other youth to an appeal for living genuine Christian lives. That night at home he voluntarily shared with me areas of waywardness and his desire to change, but the door was now open to confront me for “failures at home” and “character deficiencies.” “Apostolic Team” leaders forbade me to be present for a later meeting with my son where he was told to “share all your sins” with the vow of their “confidentiality” (which was later broken).

Subsequently, the team said it “lost confidence in my leadership,” and agreed to a “leave of absence,” sending out a “letter of confession” written by me, then undergoing several revisions affirming SGM leadership and inserting material with which I was uncomfortable but required to include. At the church meeting announcing the shift, I was told to nod in agreement for the congregation to observe.

The agreed upon 6-12 month period was short-circuited when we experienced a pattern of spiritual abuse, deceit, harshness and hypocrisy (including premeditated blackmail, communicated and reaffirmed on numerous occasions and subsequently left to silence and hang over us for over a decade). The entire apostolic team and the new senior pastor and his staff participated in this. We also were told to consider uprooting to Virginia Beach or Phoenix, which we said we could not do because we did not sense this to be God’s will for our family. Criteria established for returning to my former role as senior pastor made that outcome an impossibility unless I embraced the Reformed doctrinal tenets (although people nationwide were deliberately misled with information to the contrary).

My wife and I finally left PDI when things finally reached the “untenable” point. It became for us a matter of conscience. Disingenuous public statements and letters sent nationwide misrepresented what actually happened and I was publically slandered at Covenant Life Church, called a “liar” (with guests and non-believers present) as the leader declared, “I’d rather be dead than do what Larry Tomczak is doing!” Local leaders were affirmed leading to an almost unanimous standing ovation. My reputation built upon 25 years in ministry, was debased nationally and abroad. My “Seven Reasons for Departing PDI” were not conveyed and for 13 years this perception remained in the public domain, separating our family from many relatives, friends and leaders in the Body of Christ. It also resulted in serious financial repercussions for us as a family of six.

For over a decade we tried to bring CJ and the apostolic team to account for the injustice, even enlisting nationally known leaders in the effort, but to no avail. Finally, in November of 2010 he consented. Years of confrontation by SGM leaders and CLC pastors along with the turmoil and defections of people in the network of churches brought CJ to the realization he needed to repent of longstanding sins, some of which were committed in our unfortunate departure. CJ later made a public confession of some of his transgressions at Covenant Life Church and announced a “leave of absence.” Many believe his confession was a start but was incomplete and minimized the severity of the issues. We were invited to the November SGM Pastors Conference and Covenant Life Church to speak on reconciliation, but the invitation was rescinded. At the conference CJ shared he regretted having taken the leave of absence.

CJ’s example, problems surfacing in churches affiliated with SGM, and Internet disclosures from a former apostolic team member were catalytic in some SGM leaders beginning to come forward to repent and rectify matters with our family. One former team member had already done so years previously, after experiencing abusive treatment leading to his departure. An independent advisory panel, Ambassadors of Reconciliation, has been retained to engage in a discovery process to help facilitate reconciliation with former members and leaders who believe they have been spiritually abused. The panel is also collecting information to assist with reforms needed in SGM as well as assist in determining CJ Mahaney’s future status.

May the Lord guide us all as we redemptively deal with past transgressions and find His grace manifested in this time of reconciliation, reform and discipline for Sovereign Grace Ministries. The changes are not cosmetic but substantive to effectively eradicate systemic issues and transform a leadership culture that has drifted from Biblical norms. Two of the churches in Revelation faced the practice of the Nicolaitans (“suppress the people”). One hated it; the other held to it (Rev.2:6 & 15). May SGM leaders align with the former.

To be faithful to criteria for Biblical leadership; to steer clear of the sin of favoritism and partiality; and to be consistent with what was expected of former SGM leaders, I believe senior leaders should step down for a season to be retooled for ministry according to I Pet. 5 and I Tim. 3 standards. Public repentance and public statements should be made along with restitution where appropriate. Then and only then, can the favor of Almighty God return in its fullness to this ministry and unity be restored. The warning of God’s “lampstand” (His Presence) being removed (Rev. 2:5) is very real when a church or ministry is being evaluated by Jesus and fails to respond. Many onlookers are hoping and praying that will not happen.

Then we all can pray like Nehemiah did after he instituted reforms to restore the walls of the city of God: “Remember me with favor, O my God.” (Neh. 13:31)

ps: Because the issues and contents of this statement have already been made public at church meetings and on the Internet for months, I sensed it was appropriate to release my story at this time. CJ and I are almost 40-year friends and our reconciliation statement still stands. In my study I keep a plaque he gave me decades ago. On it are the words: “My Brother, I would not be the man I am without your care and example. I am eternally indebted to you. Your Yokefellow, CJ.” I would add: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” (Prov. 27:6)

"Slander" and it's Punishment

One of the more chilling statements made in C J Mahaney's "Coming Home" speech at the recent SGM conference was this promise;

I think the days ahead are going to require more discernment as it relates to the identification of slander and the influence of slander in our churches. I think the days ahead are going to require courage on the part of pastors and when necessary publicly identify those who are divisive

Like their enthusiastic use of the word "excommunication", I think we MUST persist in calling such leaders to account for their use of the word "slander". These words are significant because they give power to the leaders to discipline the SGM members and "publicly identify" (name and shame" anyone who may express disagreement with the leaders! This is simply wrong!

What does the word "slander" mean? Here are a few dictionary definitions;

" ... is the communication of a statement that makes a claim, expressly stated or implied to be factual, that may give an individual, business, product, group, government, or nation a negative image. This can be also any disparaging statement made by one person about another, which is communicated or published. It is usually a requirement that this claim be false and that the publication is communicated to someone other than the person defamed".

Key words; "implied to be factual". And "usually a requirement that this claim be false".

"In common law jurisdictions, slander refers to a malicious, false, not specific enough to verify and defamatory spoken statement or report, while libel refers to any other form of communication such as written words or images".

Publicly stated. And false. And often; "Not specific enough to verify". The Brent Detweiler documents have been MORE than specific. In the case of Brent Detweiler vs C J Mahaney - he has repeatedly pleaded with the SGM Board to PROVE that his claims are false. They haven't done so. Furthermore if there was ANY suggestion that Brent's claims were false - do the SGM Board not have enough finances behind them to pursue a "cease and desist" claim through the courts - which there is also no hint of them doing so?

Brent posted some email exchanges with the leadership of Crossway. Apparently they are STILL resolute on "excommunicating him" - as per instructions by C J Mahaney. He mailed them and pleaded with them to reconsider. But in true SGM resolve - Mickey Connolly (for more on him - see his interview with C J Mahaney and his fawning over Mahaney's "humble" example) emailed back and said;

"Brent,

We have heard and considered your appeal but continue to believe we stand on firm biblical ground to proceed".

This so reminded me of the absolute no budging attitude of the SGM leaders in my case. It scared me silly how utterly inflexible they are. Where is the attitude that Paul the apostle COMMANDS in Galatians;

"He who is sin - such a one should be restored gently".

Gentle? No attitude can be further from what I see in some of SGM. And what I find even more hypocritical is that Mickey Connolly was the selected SGM Board Member to introduce the Ambassadors of Reconciliation seminar at the conference.

What occurs to me is this - what do non-Christians think of this behaviour? What non-Christians in their right minds are going to what to join a church under leadership like Mickey Connolly or C J Mahaney - knowing that any hint of divisiveness and they could be excommunicated and have their lives ruined at the whim of a pastor? Amusingly enough who describe themselves as a church "enjoying His grace". What grace?!

I find it even more incredible I believed the SGM Board member in the UK who assured me that the "legalistic authoritarian" men had left SGM with Brent Detweiler and I believed the flagship church in the UK was truly one of grace and compassion and openness.

I still believe passionately in His Church - because He said He would build His church and the gates of hell would not stand against it! But I am struggling to keep believing in the future of SGM.

Divisive worse than Porn? Foolish Teaching by Jared Mellinger

A follow-up to my previous post on the readiness and eagerness by SGM top-dogs to use "excommunication" as a very real threat to those who don't toe the party line. I was alarmed and distressed to read about a rather strong sermon that Jared Mellinger (senior pastor of Covenant Fellowship Church - Dave Harvey's "base" and SGM's 2nd big flagship) preached yesterday on divisiveness.

I've been keeping my eye on Jared Mellinger ever since my dear friends Julie and Aaron Morris suffered under this guy's leadership. I follow him on Twitter and have observed some tweets from him leading up to the sermon on Sunday - so I guess it was no surprise. The essence of his statement was this (and here's the link just in case you need the source document);

"It was said that it may be more destructive to go to an un-gracious website where half-truth and opinions are put forth, than to go to a porn site".

This seems to me to be an incredibly stupid as well as unwise thing to say - and something that is fired by Mr Mellinger's eagerness to keep Dave Harvey and returning President and Chairman C J Mahaney - sweet, rather than something that is driven and guided by the Word of God.

The aim? Let's not deceive ourselves - Jared Mellinger is clearly keen to keep his church members from looking at SGM Survivors, SGM Refuge and Brent Detweiler dot com. However maybe he would do well to learn from the experience of the past. I remember when our elders at our home church were trying to put us off going to any churches involved in the Toronto Blessing and spoke very strongly against it. The effect? Generally we were all quite interested in what was so bad about Toronto and many members went - or at least watched videos about it.

I think Jared would do well to learn from Josh Harris's godly example. The websites critiquing SGM are out there and are not going away. Rather than putting your church leadership under scare tactics by saying something like this - he should do well to admit they are there. Face up honestly to what is true - and speak honestly about what perhaps is exaggerated. Maybe that will make his members relax and trust in his leadership - rather than feel under MORE condemnation and guilt;

1. Those members who have read the sites now are (by his teaching) worse than those struggling with porn.

2. Those members who genuinely struggle with porn now feel they aren't quite as bad as those who read those sites.

Both of which are ridiculous statements. ALL sin is sin in the eyes of God - and ALL sin was dealt with at the Cross of Christ (that SGM purport to trumpet so much).

ENOUGH with the Excommunication Card!

It's time for a stern post and cross post.

My patience with the SGM saga has been rapidly waning. Like all the other former members and pastors of SGM - we have all been watching with aching hearts hoping that reconciliation and forgiveness will come and that God will be glorified. But the spin, the financial huge costs of "mediation" and the evil emails to and fro are just plain disgraceful to God and His glory.

The final straw for me this week was to read that Brent Detweiler apparently has been "threatened with excommunication" by the pastors of an SGM church - Crossway - which I believe he was key in founding. I admit up front - I don't know the ins and outs. Brent has not pretended he is faultless. Indeed he has admitted he founded the faulty and abusive system that is causing so much damage and heartache.

My problem is the "excommunication card". I have never even HEARD it mentioned - let alone used - until I encountered SGM. There were disciplinary measures taken at very rare occasions in my home church in Dunstable. But these were rare and shook the whole church to the foundation - and I NEVER heard the word "excommunication" used. And to me - and my understand of Scripture - this is correct! Excommunication is the absolute, last sorrowful act when there is absolutely no other option - in a final desperate plea to reach out to the member. Paul spoke about it only once or twice (which we will get to).

I was absolutely horrified when two SGM pastors sat in a room 5 years ago and told me I was being "cast out to Satan". It felt so unreal - it was almost laughable (had I not been weeping tears). I now learned that they were simply doing what they were told by the now-SGM Board member. And that is forgiven and history.

But clearly the "E" card is still being shown and it is disgraceful. It seems to me that the Crossway pastors are floundering. Brent Detweiler has valid grievances that he has shared. The Ambassadors of Reconciliation wrote in their report that he should be pursued with love to try and mend this. Maybe the SGM Board feel this has been done - frankly rejecting his request to be involved does not really match up to "pursuing".

My thoughts with the "Excommunication" threat with Brent are - and?! He has already been forced out of SGM and his place on the then-"apostolic" team. He has already been forced out of his pastorship of the church and has no guaranteed income apart from voluntary gifts. C J on the other hand still DOES have his rather substantial income, royalties from books etc etc. It's an empty threat and it stinks of playground tactics. I hope Brent carries on speaking up - because there are many thousands behind him. He is not alone. How he keeps going with the snide emails, and open threats from some SGM pastors is beyond me.

There are no winners here. It will be interesting to see and hear how the SGM Pastors conference goes next week - with the lingering presence of C J Mahaney and the maybe/maybe not "special guest" Larry Tomczak. I just pray and hope that this gets all heads to a conclusion because the world is watching and frankly - it isn't impressed. Lost people are going to hell daily and burning - while SGM fiddles on the roof (while paying a hefty sum to mediate).

But ending on a positive note! There is much to be grateful for and excited about. Covenant Life Church had an important members meeting that shows their hearts are still open to seeking God - led by the wonderful Josh Harris. And my former church - Grace Church Bristol - where my family attend are seeing signs of the manifest Presence of God coming. I was tremendously encouraged by a prophetic song that worship leader and former friend Angi Sussex shared and also my parents told me that they were holding a prophecy workshop! So God is at work.

The Buck Stops Here

A few SGM-related thoughts.

In the NHS the highest paid individuals are the Chief Executive, the Board and the consultants. Why? Because they have to carry the responsibility for the well-being of patients. It's often said that the CEO is the one most likely to lose their job in the NHS.

So I don't have a great amount of pity for C J Mahaney. I suspect he is the highest-paid individual in SGM (and that pay hasn't stopped during his 'leave of absence' - unlike Brent Detweiler who faced bankruptcy when his SGM-Board salary was stopped abruptly). He has massive royalties I am sure from his books - including of course, the tome teaching on "Humility" - irony. He is/was the President and he is responsible for the salary he takes. Don't like the heat C J? Take that youth pastor job you kept saying you wanted so badly.

The pity and heartache I have is for in particular Josh Harris but also for the people in SGM. The pressure that Josh Harris must have been under when this blew - and still is - as the man trained up by C J (and reportedly tipped as C J's successor for head of SGM when he retires at 60 - I wonder if that's still the case). Josh took a very bold stance many people felt - honestly admitting his sermon after this on "The Father's Discipline" - stating that God was "spanking SGM". Huge amounts of people in SGM feel he's right - aside from the SGM Board and C J himself clearly.

So in a transcript I was sent from the last Covenant Life Members Meeting I was staggered - to say the least - to read that the reason that C J is going to his friend Mark Dever's church during this leave, is because of the statements that Josh made apparently putting C J in a difficult position. Poor C J! And even better - C J gets to have an "independent mediator" when this is all over - to patch things up with Josh and the CLC pastors who have so upset him. What?! Did the vast amounts of people (myself included) who got kicked out of our SGM churches get to go to the churches of our friends while we were being excommunicated? Did we get paid-for mediators to patch things up? No! We had to take the first step ourselves and go and meet these pastors to achieve the reconciliation we felt God wanted of us.

I must be honest.

C J seems to me to be angry and upset that he has been confronted by the monster authoritarian system he has created. Even his fans (Al Mohler, Ligon Duncan et al) admit there are "issues" in SGM polity - which Josh Harris is seeking bravely to address. C J admits honestly he is "proud" but yet seems to stop short of the issues that it has caused. The heartache and pain for his church. As I understand it - he is still a member of Covenant Life Church and thus under the elders (including Harris). However the increasing number of members of CLC commenting on the various blogs make it clear - CJ isn't regularly seen at CLC and doesn't participate in church life.

I think we must be honest - and leave aside the discussions of Matthew 18, Brent Detweiler and the documents. Because it is a grey area.

The key issue here for me is the hurting people in SGM looking to their leaders for care. The Board seem ridiculously desperate to protect and validate C J as soon as they can manage without public outrage. The so-called "independent panel" hired and paid seem made up of C J fans. The question has got to be - where is the glory to God in this? What does the world think?More importantly what does God think?

C J - you can't cope with the expectation and pressure? Get out of the firing line. Retire. Resign. Give it to Josh Harris who can admit he's got it wrong and is trying. I think anyone can accept honesty and transparency. What we don't like and don't tolerate is someone who takes a fat salary and should take responsibility whining "like a teenager" (Dave Harvey's term for CJ). It's like my consultant surgeon blaming me for mucking up my treatment and care.

As Harry Truman said - "The buck stops here!". Claim leadership of a denomination? You must take the fall when it goes wrong. You don't get "free passes" in the real world! Bad luck C J - you wanted to be head boss? You got it! And the answer isn't to be found by hiding in the church of your mate.

The Holy Spirit is NOT for Sale!!

I love it when I walk around a Christian bookshop and I experience a book title reaching out and grabbing me (not literally). This latest book by J Lee Grady (Editor of Charisma Magazine) is called; "The Holy Spirit is Not for Sale!". I have heard of Grady but am not familiar with him. It was the foreword by Dr R T Kendall that made me knew I had to buy it. R T Kendall is one of my heroes and those who have sat under his preaching as I have know that he is not fooled lightly (some may disagree with that - but that's my personal opinion). Dr Kendall wrote;

"I could not put this book down. It is compulsive reading. But it is more than that: it is essential reading for every person who professes to be a charismatic Christian ... this book could be a turning point for the charismatic movement".

What caught my attention the most in flicking through the book in the bookshop was how J Lee Grady is drawing on the experiences of the Third World for US here in the Westernised world to learn from. I am tired of the concept of the Western world sending "missionaries" to the Third World. Like the risen and glorified Christ said to the church in Revelation 3:17;

"You think you are rich - but you are poor".

We have wasted our glorious inheritance of various movements of the Holy Spirit and have allowed theological pride and snobbery to quench the power of the Spirit. The fact that Dr John Piper has to even answer the question; "Do you believe we should cast out demons today?" - suggests a complete blindness on the part of the Western church in ignoring the gospel.

Anyway one chapter that stood out to me straight away was dealing with the issues of spiritual authoritarianism. Grady writes; "How can we know when a particular church or church leader is crossing into the danger zone of authoritarianism? Here are seven warning signs I have detected in my own experience".

1. Lack of accountability.

Grady writes: "If a pastor or a church leader is not open to correction from his colleagues, he has set himself up for failure and displayed a blatant form of pride".

2. Lack of acceptance of other denominations, churches or ministries.

Grady writes: "We need to expect our leaders to display an attitude of humility towards the rest of the Body of Christ".

3. An atmosphere of control.

Grady says; "Authoritarian church leaders are masters at using Scripture to manipulate people. They often quote 1 Chronicles 16:22; "Do not touch My anointed ones". Another favourite is Hebrews 13:17; "Obey your leaders and submit to their authority" ... such passages can be used to intimidate people and keep them from challenging wrong. Some pastors don't recognise the difference between valid criticism and slander".

4. Dominating attitudes in leaders, usually manifested by haughtiness and anger.

"Tyrants are surprisingly similar. Because they want to control their surroundings, they often blow up when people do not conform to their demands or don't do so as quickly as they wish. We might expect bullying in the corporate world but we should not tolerate it among church leaders".

5. Emphasis on leaders hearing God for the people, rather than encouraging them to hear God for themselves.

I should add that one of my major concerns with Sovereign Grace Ministries recently came from Jeff Purswell's well publicized comment; "You" (speaking to SGM preachers) "are standing in the very stead of God". That scares me because surely it puts SGM church members in a difficult position. If your SGM leader preaches something that worries you - you are not just disagreeing with man. You are disagreeing with someone "standing in for God".

Grady writes; "In authoritarian church situations, members are not encouraged to seek God's guidance for themselves. Rather they are urged to conform to their leader's preferences ... thus the church members develop an unhealthy dependence on man in order to function spiritually and a diminished ability to trust God".

6. Leaders assuming ownership of their people and churches.

Grady says; "In authoritarian churches ... the church is governed once again like a dictatorship ... pastor's salaries remain undisclosed and the pastor maintains control of the church board if there is one ... such a system is a far cry from the biblical view of the church as a living organism, kept vibrant as each member plays a part. All church members should share a sense of ownership in the local church".

7. Women viewed as inferior.

This is one that I am particularly fierce about. I've got one mother and seven sisters and have grown up in two churches that do have the tendency to treat women as inferior. I'll never forget one experience sitting in a home group and seeing the pastor turn to his heavily pregnant wife and say; "Dear - will you go and make the coffee?". What?!?!?! Why can't you get up off your backside and go and make it!?

Grady writes; "In most (authoritarian churches) women are viewed as important only in their function as wives and mothers and they are not encouraged to step beyond these confines to pursue ministry opportunities ... women eager to be used by God or to share their spiritual insights with church leaders are branded rebels or "Jezebels"".

Rob Rufus Speaks to Church Leaders!

I'm in the middle of transcribing one of Rob Rufus's sessions in South Africa at the "Increasing Glory 2009" conference. I love nothing more than when he gets angry and lays into legalists. It thrills me beyond words - is that wrong!? I think a lifetime of legalism makes you so glad when someone is brave enough to stand up and confront wrong-doing.

Anyhow - Rob said this to church leaders;

"Stop bullying, managing and controlling God's people. We do not have a right to have authority in the church unless the authority we have is liberating, grace, fatherly, fond, affectionate and kind. We will use our ministries to to build people up - not use people to build our ministries".

He went on;

"Too many church leaders have an addiction worse than cocaine - it is to the approval of man".

Many church leaders would proudly claim they are prepared to make unpopular decisions that upset their congregations. One well-known US so-called apostle was heard to say that he was sick and tired of being told he should keep people happy - he said he was there to upset and be unpopular. But Rob Rufus went on to point out that actually - the approval that many church leaders so desperately cling to is the leadership hierarchies in their movements or church families or denominations.

Question - would church leaders be prepared to stand up and defend their congregations even if it meant going against their regional apostle?

I remember being subjected to corporal discipline in the church school when I was a child. I had a conversation quite recently with someone who asked if I resented being hit by a school teacher. I thought about it and answered that it wasn't the actual physical striking I resented. What I resented was the refusal of my parents to even consider listening to my side of events. The fact I was a child meant that I had to be wrong and the school teachers always right.

I think the same applies in church families. Surely there is nothing more discouraging and hurtful than someone who has allegedly been put in charge of your soul and yet refuses to believe you first and hear you out before making judgements. Oh for more church leaders that do indeed have a liberating, kind, gracious, fond love to their leadership! Thank God there are leaders out there like that. The photo shows two of my favourites - the Morrises and the Rufus's!