Open Door!!

I have had the phrase "Open Door" in my head for a few days now. I think it's thanks to my wonderful friend Ursula. Does anyone else live in the kind of Christian community where certain phrases are quite "fashionable"? I mentioned the other day that when I spent my 2 years in SGM a popular phrase was; "I am the worst sinner I know". Another preaching cliche was; "We will never move past the old rugged Cross". Well going slightly further back to my 20 or so years at New Covenant Church in Dunstable - it was quite fashionable to talk about "doors".

Here's an example of how it could be used for those unfamiliar with it;

"The Lord closed that particular door to me ... I am praying for a door to open so that I may ... why won't this door open?! It just seems totally shut! ... The door seems to be shutting so I may have to give up on that particular idea".

And so on! But last night I was having a rare night at home sleeping in my own bed and I kept dreaming about "open doors". In all sorts of shapes and forms and sizes. From the domestic house door to the massive gates on a medieval castle. They were all open! Open! And when I woke up a verse from Revelation (3:8) was going through my mind;

"'I know your deeds. Behold, I have put before you an open door which no one can shut, because you have a little power, and have kept My word, and have not denied My name".

I don't know if that's where Ursula got her blog name inspiration from but I must admit to getting slightly delirious when I let the implications of that Scripture sink into my mind. That surely is one of the New Covenant promises that Rob was addressing in his sermon - that become ours if we realise;

"Every promise God has made is yes and amen in Christ! So every promise - it's His absolute will for you to live in the benefits and fullness of New Covenant promises! Yet most Christians hardly live in any of them. What's the reason? The condition for all the promises to work is not you being more obedient or more holy or fasting or coming back under the law. The way you are going to come into every promise being fulfilled is that you get established in righteousness as a gift".

So when we realise that we are in the same situation as Abraham - if we will simply realise that God WANTS to bless us then that will be credited to us as righteousness and that's it then this "open door" truth becomes one for us all! I know I can write honestly that I've experienced the frustration of what feels like a "shut door". But if a door is open in heaven that NO MAN can shut then surely any door or gate on earth stands NO HOPE!

Ern Baxter used to comment on something Jesus said and it was ever so funny. He recalled the words of Jesus; "The gates of hell shall not prevail" and he said that Christians everywhere interpret that verse wrongly and speak of it as how we will retreat into our Christian strongholds and be safe from hell's gates. But Ern said;

"I have not ever been attacked by a gate! I have never seen a gate jump off it's hinges and chase me down the street!".

No rather what Jesus meant was that in the power of the New Covenant we will advance through the world with the advancing flame of the Gospel of grace and even the darkest, most strongest gates cannot withstand the marching New Covenant church! Even hell itself - the gates must burst open! Jesus Himself said that the gates of hell cannot prevail against the Church! That sounds pretty triumphant to me! When is the Church going to wake up and realise the power and glory of these truths!?

Yikes!!

My Father is soo amazing and wonderful and knows exactly when encouragement is needed! I had to get up early on this Saturday morning because I have to go to a rather difficult meeting which I've been dreading. It seems to me that just as soon as I get a tantalising grip on grace and the blessings of the New Covenant there's always something isn't there to come try and throw you off! So I got up and was sitting drinking my cup of tea and found to my surpise that Cyberranger has awarded this blog as "Best Christian Blog of the Week"!

You have to understand I was always the kind of child who NEVER won awards at the Christian school I went to. Mainly because the teachers always thought I was a sulky brat! Correction! I won just one award called; "The Character Development Award". Essentially it was known as the "Naughty but Nice" award. I used to be a brat - and by the time I won the award I could just about muster a smile at my hated deputy headmaster! Just winning the award then was seen as a bit of an insult anyway!

So this is really nice, totally undeserved and an awesome blessing. I always get really excited when someone new comments on my blog. It's like meeting a new friend - with new links to new blogs that look like they are going to be great! So this is a good moment to thank you all - each and every reader who takes the time to drop by. Time is a precious commodity in this day and age and the fact you would even take a few minutes to read my ramblings ... well! So I dedicate this award to each and everyone of you. The hurting and lonely housewife wondering if God has forgotten about her (He hasn't!). The geeky college student growing up wondering if they will ever be popular. The Christian with skeletons in your closet you are terrified anyone will find out about. God is CRAZY about you! Because I am learning He loves me and if He loves me then He most surely loves you!

Have a great weekend!

John Piper on our One Hope

I've just started reading; "Pierced for Our Transgressions" by Jeffery, Ovey, and Sach. I've resisted reading this mainly due to my bad attitude towards how the church culture I was in presented the Gospel. Substitutory atonement has been something I've always taken for granted and saw no reason why Steve Chalke or anyone else should persuade me otherwise. However in light of my recent passion for learning more about true grace and imputed righteousness in our justification - I saw it on special offer and thought it would be an excellent read seeing as I've finished all my Christmas books.

John Piper wrote the foreword and instantly my eyes fell to an excellent quote;

"There was only one hope for us - that the infinite wisdom of God might make a way for the love of God to satisfy the wrath of God so that I might become a son of God".

Only ONE hope! I'm still thinking and re-thinking the previous blog post from this morning and what God revealed to Joseph Prince. What is wrong with us Gentiles if the Roman centurion and the Caananite had no feeling of disqualification thanks to the law - yet we do? Why is it not said of us that we have "great faith"? I think it is because the mixed gospel of law and grace has led us to the distinct desire to "add" something to the only answer to our great need. Yes we have been justified and the righteousness of Jesus Christ has let us in - but now it must be our holiness, and our righteousness and our works that take us on.

Well that sounds pretty blasphemous to me. So the righteousness and sacrifice of Jesus Christ was good enough to commence us in the Christian life but not good enough to take us through gloriously to that moment when we will "meet Him in the air and be like Him"? John Piper is clear. "One hope". There was only "one hope" when we came to Christ and there still is only ONE hope for us now! That the love of God has satisfied the wrath of God! And that love is STILL abounding now and we can call Him "Abba! Daddy!" because are His SONS!!

One AWESOME Revelation from Joseph Prince!!

I wasn't very happy last night. I forgot my IPOD and so couldn't spend the hours from 02:00 to 06:00 when it's usually quiet transcribing the glorious messages of Rob Rufus! But it actually worked out pretty well - and I wonder if it was a divine coincidence in light of my last blog. It was as though my heavenly Father was having a laugh at my expense and making me sit quietly just reading. Because fortunately I had taken Joseph Prince's book; "Destined to Reign". So I finished reading it last night and WOW am I glad I reached the end!

He shared something so profound and so obvious that I sat back and laughed out loud to myself. I - who prided myself on being well-taught in the Word - had totally missed this! My doctor of theology senior pastor never preached this! But here it is!

"As I was reading these Scriptures one night, the Lord asked me; "Why did that man have great faith?". I immediately replied that it was because he, being a Roman centurion, was a man of authority and thus understood the authority of the Lord Jesus. I was confident of my reply, having been taught that to have great faith, we need to understand the Lord's authority and the authority He has given to the believer.

The Lord said to me; "Good and what about the other person who I said had great faith?". He was referring to the Syro-Phoenician woman who had a demon-possessed daughter ... The Lord continued; "Well if the centurion had great faith because he understood authority, what about this woman? She was not a soldier - she was a homemaker". Now the Lord had got me there ... then the Lord said to me; "Son, look for the common denominator between these two people and you will discover the secret to great faith".

Boy I was excited! I was about to discover the secret to having great faith! But after more than half an hour, I was still sitting in my study, searching for the common denominator. I was searching and searching to no avail. I simply could not find the answer. Finally my "lightning-fast" mind told me I should ask the Lord for the asnwer. So I said; "Lord, You have to show me because I cannot see it".

Then the Lord said this to me; "Both were Gentiles. They were not Jews. One was a Roman and the other a Caananite. Both of them were not under the law of Moses and therefore they did not disqualify themselves. They were not under condemnation and so they could have great faith to receive from Me".

Do you know that there is a verse in Galatians that says; "the law is not of faith?". In Romans, it also says, "For if those who are of the law are heirs, faith is made void and the promise is of no effect". So clearly there is no way we can give people the law and yet expect them to have faith. The law will disqualify them from receiving any blessing from the Lord. It is only faith in His grace that will qualify God's people and cause them to have great faith to receive what they need from the Lord".

You might be asking quite rightly; "But what is faith?". Because the word can be understood in many ways. Perhaps the health-wealth-prosperity preachers have given the word a bit of a bad name. But despite the excesses I think they may have taken the word "faith" to - I still think they started off in their teaching with a point. Joseph Prince defines faith thus;

"Faith is not trying to make something that is not already there happen. Faith is bringing out of the spirit realm what is ALREADY there, what is ALREADY true of you. I am not telling you to confess something you are not".

And note this especially. It was so awesome I had to text it to Pete Day at some unearthly hour of the morning! And if I could have got online to blog it - I would have!

"Whether you confess that you are the righteousness of God in Christ or not, you are still the righteousness of God in Christ. But when you confess it, you become concious of it. You sense it and it becomes powerful and real in your life. You do not confess that you are righteous IN ORDER to become righteous. You confess you are righteous BECAUSE you are ALREADY righteous! ... That's not having faith in faith. It is faith in His goodness - faith in His grace".

Driving home with a big grin on my face looking stupid is becoming something of a habit only this morning I was repeating; "I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus"! Oh and if you are wondering why I've put a couple of pictures of Darlene Zschech worshipping - it's because my response to these revelations is worship and adoration at His great grace. And no one sums up a posture of worship like this amazing woman - who is one of my favourite worship leaders along with Kate Simmonds! The Australians have certainly discovered the key to worship.

"Marination" - "To Soak ... To Tenderize"

I was really challenged by an interesting question on Facebook from my wonderful friend Chris Welch (author of blog; "080808 On,Now,To the Third Level"). Knowing him as I do there was no judgement or criticism to it - he was just interested. Chris asked what my favourite "soaking" C.D's are. I thought about it for a bit and I replied as honestly as I could that "soaking" isn't something I am very good at, at all. For those who aren't familiar with the term, probably Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship provide the best working definition;

"Jesus says, “Ask and you will receive”. We’re very good at the asking part…but how about the ‘receiving’? If we are the ones who are doing all the talking, it’s really a one-way conversation. Soaking is the listening part of our conversation with Him. It’s setting aside time to lie down and receive from Him. Soaking is a dedication: “God this is time just for you.”Soaking is an invitation: “God do what you want to in me”. Soaking is an expectation: “Thank you Father for what you are accomplishing as I rest in you.”".

Now here's a confession - I am not very good at staying still. At all! I hate being alone and I hate even more being alone and quiet. And I have always just put it down to being full of energy but when I trace back I wasn't always like that. I mentioned in my testimony that I used to legalistically spend time with God (well it was actually with my Bible) from 05:00 till 06:00 - take that Mrs Mahaney. So I can do it! But I stopped doing it when I began to struggle with depression and all the other things that came upon me. And the other day Rob Rufus defined so prophetically and succintly why that is (from his sermon; "Being Established In The Gift Of Righteousness - Part 2 : How To Increase In The Blessing");

"I am convinced that many Christians struggle with living happy because secretly they don't like themselves. I think it's probably the number 1 problem in most Christians lives - if they were really honest, they don't really like themselves. Then they also think that is being spiritual! That the more you despise yourself the more holy you are. Imagine Jesus walking around hating Himself. How would He hate something the Father said; "I love"? Jesus was the righteousness of God and He has given us the exact same righteousness He has as a complete standing - our position before the Father is permamently the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus!

I believe people don't like themselves because they have brought into the lie of religious people that is being self-indulgent and not narcissistic. We are not talking about Hollywood - we are talking about the reality of David saying; "I am fearfully and wonderfully made - I am not going to just tolerate how you have created me - I am going to celebrate EVERYTHING about me from my hair, my nose, my fingers, my voice - everything - I thank You that You made me God and I will not despise what You created! I will celebrate it!".

We have listened to the lie of the devil for so long on this issue. When you like yourself - it is a sign of security. I am not talking about being so in love with yourself that you are selfish and ignore everyone else. I am talking about being so secure in who God has made you that you really like yourself. How many of you like spending a lot of time with someone you don't like? Who do you have to spend the most time with? YOURSELF! If you don't like yourself then you don't like life because you take yourself wherever you go! And if you don't like yourself then you are taking misery and spending time with somebody that you don't like!".

This is an issue that many of us former-SGM'ers will be very familiar with. It's quite trendy to speak of yourself as being "the worst sinner I know" at the moment and I always felt that wasn't quite in line with Scripture. Yes I know Paul said it. But the way I heard it said, I knew that the people who said it didn't really mean it. It became a form of spiritual pride. So to hear Rob say this was a wonderful freeing statement. Yes! "I am fearfully and wonderfull made!". God looked at man when He had finished and said; "It is very good!".

So back to soaking - as I said, I answered Chris Welch honestly and decided to do something about it today. On my way back from the gym, I went into St Andrews Christian bookshop near me and browsed a section of C.D's that normally I wouldn't go near! Interestingly enough the only "soaking" C.D was one called;

"Marinating - Pickling in God's Presence" ... by Todd Bentley.

So I brought it! I know, I know - the heresy alarms are going to be going crazy at this point. I can see the concerned comments flooding in - "Do you really think you should be buying a CD by a convicted sinner ... " blah blah. So let me save you some time. I know all the "concerned" questions already! As I was hovering debating whether to buy this C.D - this thought occured to me;

"If Paul the apostle was alive today - knowing his history of Christian-killing and Stephen-stoning and all - what would the concerned evangelicals have to say about buying his books or his C.Ds? He worked signs and wonders and miracles as well as being pretty sound on doctrine! Definately dodgy.

Furthermore the only judgement I am permitted to make on Todd Bentley is that he is the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. I don't know his state before God, and because I am not without sin, I don't intend to throw any stones. But this I do know - Todd Bentley has got more anointing in his little finger than most "concerned" evangelicals have got in their whole bodies.

Why? Because he's more holy? Well clearly not. Because he's more righteous? Nope - we are ALL the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ. Because he's more HUNGRY. And at the moment I want to spend time with hungry men and women of God. And I will leave Todd Bentley's condition upto God".

So I brought the C.D! And I put it on in the car and essentially it is an instrumental C.D but with Todd reading Scripture, praying and generally exhorting. And I kid you not - I was drunk at the wheel driving back home! All he kept saying was the verse; "There is a river that makes glad ... out of his heart will flow rivers of living water". I started to cry first (always the first sign the Spirit is falling) and then started to laugh ... just at how good God is and how much He loves me!

So Chris ... you will be interested to know my "soaking" collection is growing and I think I've got an awesome C.D here that will serve as an amazing tool to just spend time alone and loudly in the Presence of God basking in His Presence! And for those of you who are even secretly "tutting" and shaking their heads (and you know who you are) I won't write off Todd Bentley for his mistake, just as I wouldn't write off Roy Clements for his mistake or William Branham for his mistake - I will celebrate the fact that they are simply human like me and are receptors of God's grace and His righteousness just like me. Jesus Christ hasn't written me off for my numerous mistakes! Just as He hasn't written them off for theirs ("those whom the Father has given Me, I will by no means cast away") - so what right do I have to do anything but follow Him?

Why I Drove Home Smiling on a Freezing Wednesday Morning!!

I should explain a little bit about depression - anyone who has suffered from it will know that one of the manifestations are that basic, every-day events become unusually difficult to cope with and deal with. For me these past few months - for some reason - those basic, every-day events have been the arrival of the post and telephone calls. I know that sounds odd! But it was mainly thanks to the constant stream of letters arriving from Acorns Children's hospice trying to persuade me to come back to work and then launching various "disciplinary" procedures for various reasons. Each letter was recorded delivery so it became rather standard to wake up each morning to the postman ringing insistantly because the letter had to be delivered by 09:00! When I was advised to stop accepting the letters they then started ringing - hence the paranoia.

So with that in mind - I drove to work last night and began listening to Rob's second sermon in the wonderful series; "Established in Righteousness" that he preached on the 11th January 2009. And he said this;

"Having a receptive attitude means living with a confident expectation of good coming into your life. Every day I have got to discipline my mind to stop the negativity, the foreboding, the sense of dread, the sense of this coud happen or that terrible thing could happen - I have GOT to live with a spirit of receptivity, a confident expectation of God that I have come into fulness of grace and from that fulness of grace I AM receiving one blessing after another!".

I just couldn't stop laughing as I felt so loved by God through His Holy Spirit! I have lived in dread for the last few months - fearing the postman or fearing a phone call. Even this week after having two court summons served on me (one is for an error of payment made by my previous employer - who then failed to update my new address - and the other from an overly zealous council who are demanding the rest of the year's council tax!) - the truth of God's word just brought such joy!

Rob quoted Proverbs 10:6;

"Blessings are on the head of the righteous".

I think traditionally (like most of the other verses in the Bible I have wrongly interpreted through my mix of law and grace lense) I always thought that "righteous" meant someone strong in good works who serves God well - that is the person God will bless. And looking at my past few months - a legalist might conclude that I am clearly NOT righteous! Interestingly enough I noted that even famous commentator Matthew Henry wrote of Proverbs 10:6; "Those who are fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, are likely to be rich in faith, and rich in good works". Doesn't sound very full of faith and sure of his interpretation does he?

Rob on the other hand reminded us so clearly that having received the imputed gift of Jesus Christ's righteousness - that promise applies to US! That blessings "crown our heads!". That there is nothing we can EVER do to earn the blessing that the Father is about to pour out on us - should we just accept that He is waiting to pour it out BECAUSE He loves us so passionately! No other reason! Nothing we have done or will do or are doing! Just because! And the reason I was confusing so many commuters by driving along smiling like an idiot on a horrid frosty morning is because I think, I THINK that the penny is starting to drop!

I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ and just as by the disobedience of one man - Adam - I was condemned to judgement so by the OBEDIENCE of the one Man - Jesus Christ - I am saved, justified, declared righteous FOREVER, glorified, seated and reigning as a co-heir in heavenly places! Now THAT'S the best news you can get to start the day off!

"Glory and Grace Blank Bible" addition!

I had a glorious night last night working transcribing through almost 45 minutes of Rob's; "Being Established In The Gift Of Righteousness". He dealt with a familiar verse to me but in an incredible new light. This re-focus through the gospel of grace is something I am getting used to thanks to Rob and Ryan Rufus's ministry among others! It's a humbling experience for someone like myself who prided myself on being "strong on the Word" coming from a church where the senior pastor was a doctor of theology. I realised that a mixture of Old Covenant and New Covenant teaching actually means you don't understand much of the Word of God at all.

The verse Rob mentioned was Colossians 2:6 and his commentary was perfect to go onto the "Glory and Grace Blank Bible" project that some of us are working on. Here's what he said;

"Paul says just as you received Christ so walk in Him. Or the NIV says just as you received Christ, "live in Him"! How did you receive Christ? Did you have to earn or deserve or keep the law or be good enough? No - you received Him by grace through faith - He declared you righteous. So just as you received Christ - so walk in Him and live in Him.

There is a major theological heresy in this earth that is a very dangerous heresy and is more serious than any other deception in the Church today. It is this idea that there are two types of righteousness. The free gift of righteousness that God gives you and the righteousness that you have to perform after you are saved.

That's not only bad theology - that is confusing because that means that God's righteousness is not good enough. And how can you be established in the gift of righteousness if you don't know where God's gift of righteousness ends and where your performance of righteousness has to begin?

No! The truth of the matter is that the gift of righteousness is the only righteousness that you live by. You receive Christ by the gift of righteousness and you continue to live by grace through faith that "I am the righteousness of God". That gives you the power to change - but you are always righteous and are constantly righteous!".

Reference: Rob Rufus - "Being Established In The Gift Of Righteousness" - City Church International, Hong Kong - Sunday 4th January 2009.

When He bares His teeth - Winter meets it's Death!

Many know of my love of the Chronicles of Narnia - I think my great new friend Jon Sidnell referred to it last year. I adore the books (and have done since I was a child) and also love the two films that have been brought out. Me being me - I must buck the trend - I don't like the favourite evangelical phrase that is over-used ("He's not a tame lion" ... yawn - yes we know!). I do indeed love the quote from the Silver Chair that Jon mentioned ("There is no other stream"). Time for another. This one is from the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Here it is;

"This is no thaw' said the dwarf stopping suddenly. 'This is SPRING. What are we to do? Your winter has been destroyed, I tell you! This is Aslan's doing'".

I was struggling to find a way to convey the emotions of my heart over the past few days. I've been absolutely blown away by the kindness and the compassion of the comments in response to my post; "Grace Demands Radical Change ... !". I was fearing the worst. But through you I encountered the passion and the kindness and the love of God and I can't thank you all enough. Depression is quite frequently described as "the winter of the soul" and having experienced depression it's something I can identify with. So why do I take a step of faith to suggest that this is no thaw but spring has broken, not only in my heart and life but also in the world?

Firstly I am thrilled to be able to say that I've finally left my place of work at Acorns Childrens Hospice. I will always be grateful for the experience I had working there for a year. To see children facing death with the bravery they do is a life-changing experience. What is tragic is when they do not receive the care and the love that they are entitled to because there is more of an obsession with rules, policies and outward appearance. I handed in my notice on Tuesday and I cannot describe the feeling of relief that swept over me when it was done! Truly a cloud of darkness was lifting!

I then went out to town and indulged in some retail therapy to celebrate. Now for some people their idea of retail therapy may involve couture and labels! Mine tends to involve Christian books (I confess I did indulge in some underwear - but hey saves washing!) I brought three - one was called "A Radical Encounter with God" by Greg Haslam (a hero of mine). The second was called "The Gift of Prophetic Preaching" by Michael Eaton and the last was by Joseph Prince and was called; "Destined to Reign". I haven't read any of Joseph Prince before but I can tell he's going to become a hero - a true grace preacher in the shape of Rob Rufus. I haven't read Eaton's book yet but both Greg Haslam and Joseph Prince brought resounding messages into my life that I need to hear right NOW!! (I've posted a selection of quotes over on the "Post-it Notes" blog).

The second "event" was the sharing of a prophetic word from another really amazing individual I am proud to call friend - Ursula from Sydney. She read my post and had a prophetic insight into exactly how wonderful (NOT!) "fear" is! Here essentially is what fear is and what it does to the believer;

"During worship, one Sunday morning, I looked around and on about half of the church were these black demons. I'm going to try to describe it here. They were almost tar like, sticky, and they held onto the upper half of the peoples bodies. They clung with their legs around the bodies of their victims, their faces plastered over thier victims faces, covering their faces with black tar like goo, and their hands were plastered over their ears. I was so confused, and really concerned. I cried out to Jesus, "Jesus, what is this!!" I closed my eyes and tried to block it out, it was so disturbing, and spiritually the entire atmosphere was killing me! Everytime I opened my eyes I was confronted with these creatures.

Then the Holy Spirit answered me, in His beautiful voice of rushing waters He said to me, "Ursula, that is fear". I was like, "WHAT?". He explained to me that the demon I was seeing was fear. It clung like sticky tar, and stuck to everything that touched it. It was contagious. Transferable and imprisoning His people. He showed me that fear covered the faces of the people for various reasons. It covered their mouths and shut them. It covered their nose's and suffocated them. It covered their eyes, and closed them to things of the spirit, as well as ensuring that the people could not see past their fear. And it covered their ears, shutting them from hearing the truth and His voice. People that touched these people, were infected by this same fear, because it was so sticky, it just stuck to them! It was terrible, but showed me the truth of fear".

But she ends so biblically by reminding us that we are told simply not to fear! Simply this;

"The Holy Spirit reminded me, there is a reason He tells us not to fear. This demon imprisons people, and they can't see past the lie of fear itself. They can't see truth".

And the truth of the matter? Well let Joseph Prince answer what the TRUTH really is!

"Did Jesus die on the Cross to free us from committing sinful actions or harbouring sinful thoughts? If He did then allow me to conclude with reverence that He failed ... When David described the blessed man as one to whom the Lord will not impute sin, he meant that even when this man sins, God will not count his sin against him nor punish him for his iniquity. Too good to be true? That is why David defined this man as a blessed man! And this blessed man is you and me!".

And if "God is for us then WHO ... WHO .... WHO ... WHO ... WHO can be against us!?!?". No one! Not any man - not any church pastor or elder - not any work boss - not any demon of fear - not even Satan himself. God is for us! And He never will be against us because His Son died to ensure that we are adopted into the royal family of heaven! And once we are adopted - what cruel parent would "disfellowship" their child? It just wouldn't happen!

So back to why spring has brought an eternal, permament end to the winter of depression in my life! The third reason is that many of you may have noticed that my transcribing of Rob Rufus's sermons has slowed in the last few months. I couldn't explain why - other than my levels of concentration had totally gone. It was all I could do to sit and focus on the sermon for more than 5 minutes - and that is bearing in mind how utterly glorious Rob's sermons are! Since I handed in my notice at Acorns Hospice - it is like that dark cloud has vanished and my concentration is back and with a vengance! I spent the last couple of evenings glued to my IPOD and just soaking in the wonderful teaching of grace!

The sermon in particular that I've got to thank for this acceleration of spring's arrival is the first sermon that Rob preached in 2009 - "Being Established In The Gift Of Righteousness". This sermon is just ... incredible! Here's a quote that is so similar in theme and glory to Joseph Prince's book;

"If the main reason for Jesus dying on the Cross was to stop us sinning then He failed but if the main reason for Him dying on the Cross was so that your sins will never be imputed to you again because they have already been charged to Him - if the main reason He died was so that your sinning and sin can never again seperate you from the love of God then Jesus utterly succeeded in what He did".

I just love it. I can't hear it enough. "Who shall seperate us from the love of God?". No-one! It can't be done! Calvary was sufficient! God the Just was satisfied to look on Him and pardon me! I just have to re-post the clip of the most beautiful rendition of "Before the Throne of God" at Stoneleigh Bible Week - and the verse in particular that says;



"When Satan tempts me to despair and tells me of the guilt within upward I look and see Him there who made an END to ALL my sin!".

The question is - son or daughter (I did write "Christian" and then I had to come back and change it!) - do we really believe that "ALL" means all? Or are we content to almost blaspheme the Cross and suggest that Jesus gave us a good head-start but then we have to contribute and help finish off His mighty work with our works? That Paul by the way calls; "Dung!" or as Rob Rufus rather politely translates it; "POO!".

Let me finish - because I am finding I could really talk all day! Why has Spring come and brought an end to the eternal 1000 year winter of depression in my life, and in your life if you know something of what I am going through? Because of where we can look! "Upward". That heavenly song finishes with the verse;

"Behold Him there the risen Lamb - MY perfect SPOTLESS RIGHTEOUSNESS!
The great unchangable I AM - the King of glory and of grace!
One with Himself I cannot die! My soul is purchased with His blood!
My life is hid with Christ on high! With Christ my Saviour and my God!".

I have to say it's amazing - once you start to "get" the true gospel of grace it is like everything just "adjusts" into focus. I've sung and loved that song since 1998 when I first heard it on a Stoneleigh CD (and I didn't even know what Stoneleigh was or who Lou Fellingham was at that point!). But I am seeing these words clearly only just recently! My perfect spotless righteousness! Purchased with His blood! I know that while in heaven He stands - no tongue - no tongue - no tongue - no tongue - NO TONGUE (No one! Not any man - not any church pastor or elder - not any work boss - not any demon of fear - not even Satan himself) can bid me thence depart! Safe forever! NO FEAR!! With all of these glorious truths - what chance does winter have? I know it's not going to be long before I go to my G.P and he says there is no need for me to be on anti-depressants anymore. And I know once I am off them - I won't ever need to go back on them again!

Rob Rufus on Mis-use of the Cross

"Today the Cross is used as a lever of manipulation to stop people sinning and it doesn't work".

Rob Rufus - "Being Established In The Gift Of Righteousness" - City Church International, Hong Kong - 4th January 2009

Grace demands Radical Change ... !!

This post is not going to be a comfortable one for anyone. It's not going to be comfortable for legalists because I am going to make some statements that will draw them to conclusions - conclusions I have already been receiving from some quarters. It's not going to be comfortable for "nice" Christians who may have formed particular opinions of me and don't want those "nice" opinions shattered. It's not going to be comfortable for those who may be in denial about areas of my life they don't want to know about. And it's going to be a definite step out of my comfort zone because any air of "respectability" that I proudly hung onto will be gone! So with that caveat-warning out the way, I can take no responsibility for what is to follow. Read on at your peril!

Please note that I haven't written this post in solidarity. I am aware that it may cause offence to some (I hope it doesn't because I don't mean it to - I am just telling the truth). So I have emailed it to Pete Day and to Julie and Lydia and have taken their observations and edits on board.

The statement I am about to make is based on my own experience and observation and I am more than willing to be corrected on it. I believe there are certain taboo subjects in the church that bring an element of discomfort and awkwardness. One such subject is that of people suffering with HIV and AIDS. I rejoiced therefore to read in the latest Newfrontiers magazine;

"As Christians we should not ask, ‘How did you become infected with HIV?’ but rather our question should be, ‘How can we help and support you to live with the virus?’".

Attitudes seem to be slowly changing! Thank God for Newfrontiers! But the issue I want to discuss is that of homosexuality. To put in context why I am writing this post, it is necessary that I share a degree of personal testimony. Before I do that however I need to make some definitions. As a New Covenant Christian I don't believe that God sees His creation as "gay" or "straight". But the world has become so familiar with such titles that I must of necessity use them. In this post I will be talking about;

1. Homosexual (Men or Women) - People attracted to members of the same sex exclusively.

2. Heterosexual (Men or Women) - People attracted to members of the opposite sex exclusively.
3. Bisexual (Men or Women) - People attracted to members of the same and opposite sex.

A. The Past

So I grew up (as many who read this blog are aware) in a strict religious background in a Bible-believing church where it was explicitly taught that homosexual practice is wrong. Stanley Jebb - my senior pastor - made much use of the passage in Leviticus and Romans 1 to show that homosexuality was a perversion and I believed it. It was slightly upsetting and disconcerting therefore to find that as I progressed into my teenage years I was developing feelings of attraction towards people of the same sex. This wasn't helped by attending a Christian school ran by the church - while I was at that school I was abused by an adult and went through the usual feelings of guilt that I didn't do anything to stop this pattern that went on until the individual left the church. In a weird sort of way I "enjoyed" the attention of the abuse. I was to spend the next 10 years trying to "cure" myself. If there was a pill on offer that would have made me heterosexual then I would have taken it. If there was surgery - I would have gone through it ... without anaesthesia.

When I say I tried to "cure" myself - this is just some of what I attempted. I legalistically read my Bible for an hour every morning (without fail) - especially the passages in the Bible that dealt with the horrors of homosexuality (such as Leviticus 20:13 and Leviticus 18:22). I attempted castration (seriously). I went to a Christian group that believed that chastity was the only answer for homosexual Christian men (and ended up getting abducted by one of the men and driven deep into the countryside and left there when I wouldn't sleep with him!). And I attempted giving up. Oh and I attempted exorcism (thanks to Derek Prince).

By the way for anyone who wishes to "label" me - I guess according to the world I am bisexual. But thank God according to the New Covenant - I am a son of God, co-heir with Jesus Christ, I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ, I am accepted, I am loved and God is crazy about me!!

B. Pete Day

Because of my background in church I used to struggle with the opinion that I am an "abomination" and am worthy of the death penalty until I met Pete Day. Many know how close we are but not many know how absolutely key this man was in saving my life. Pete and I met through a mutual friend and when that friend moved away, our friendship deepened thanks to common loves and passions like Dr Ern Baxter, the doctrine of Word and Spirit and a general longing for more of God. One January morning about 7 years ago Pete and I went to the famous Metropolitan Tabernacle Christian book sale and we sat in a McDonalds and I felt I trusted this man of God enough to make a full testimony of my past and my background and my struggles with attraction towards people of the same sex.

Pete responded in grace and acceptance and love - and that has never altered to this day. I have shared my failings (of which there are some) and I have shared my struggles and heartaches and remain accountable to him to this day. Pete and I spend a lot of time in prayer and in waiting on God when we meet and it was during one particularly powerful time that I suddenly felt the power of God fall upon me and I heard the audible voice of God say; "My grace is sufficient for you for My strength is made perfect in your weakness" and I felt God ask me to surrender my struggles to become "straight" into His hands. It was during that time while I was lying on the floor in Pete's office in the Spirit that I felt a commission to reach out to the homosexual community in the United Kingdom. I already had and have a number of gay friends - both men and women - and I felt the passion of God for them - the longing of God that they would receive His love.

C. Sovereign Grace Ministries

Some time ago my friend Janelle asked for a bit more information into my views on church discipline and I promised to give it. So here's a bit more context. I joined Grace Church Bristol some years ago and as had become habit to me I kept quiet about my past and my struggles. It was more awkward because Grace Church was a small church and I was the only single male in the church. Eyebrows were raised and the cliche; "Oh I am waiting for the right woman to come along" didn't always cut it. I managed there in membership somehow for 2 years however. It was incredibly difficult and a lonely time because as with most churches, the social life of the church was shaped around couples. And so because I was an "odd number" I didn't get invited out much. I went to see the senior pastor with the other single female in the church and we shared our unhappiness but nothing really came of that although he promised much.

Unfortuately I was to discover that years of "keeping a mask" on was having an effect. I was working as a childrens nurse and was accepted and appreciated for who I was there. My collegues and friends couldn't understand why I was so cut-up about who they thought I should be. The church however was a different matter and I began to struggle with depression and with self-harm. As I began to deteriorate I became increasingly desperate and my parents suggested I go and share my struggles with the church leaders (although my parents were not aware that the depression and self-harm was linked to my struggles with my sexuality).

Rather stupidly I did. There were only three meetings. The first meeting was gracious. The second was not and the third was my disfellowshipping from the church. Here is what happened. I made the leaders aware of my past and my present. I shared with them that I did have homosexual friends but that I was celibate and had been for some years. During the second meeting I was informed that my struggles with depression and self-harm were because they felt I was "lying" and was in fact NOT celibate and more particularly was having a sinful relationship with a dear friend of mine who is like a brother to me. While they admitted they had no evidence - it seems that the "feeling" of a Sovereign Grace leader is enough.

I was asked to do the following. 1. I had to move back in with my parents and make a full statement to them about my past. 2. I had to cut off contact with ALL non-Christian friends especially those who were homosexual. 3. I had to vow to attend every church service and care group without fail. If I fulfilled these ultimatums then they would help me with my depression and other struggles. If I did not ...

So I was given two weeks to consider this and went straight to London and consulted with Pete and we spent time praying and thinking through what to do. I came to the conclusion that I couldn't reconcile how biblically any pastor could make such demands of a church member. Particularly when it came into such conflict with my God-given commission that had come to me to reach the lost and hurting homosexual community. I couldn't imagine how I was to tell my friends that I was no longer able to have any contact them because the church had told them so - and how they would find this glorifying to the God I had been trying to interest them in.

So I went back after the two weeks and met with the pastors and informed them of my decision. I felt that to obey such ultimatums was to go against my conscience. They became angry and informed me that if I refused to obey then I would be "disfellowshipped". They would inform the church that I was banned from church services and care groups. They would also write to every other church in Bristol and would inform them that I was not to be accepted because I was in "unrepentant sin". Despite these threats I actually felt I had made the right decision rather than the wrong one and stuck to my decision and left the meeting. I know that many are afraid to leave their SGM church because of years of history, friendships, a social circle they would miss, awesome worship, or excellent preaching - I didn't have any of those restraints.

As I stated in an earlier blog I have been guilty of holding bitterness against these church leaders and I am truly sorry for that. I don't understand why they did what they did and I can't condone it from Scripture. To be told I was "being put out to Satan" was shocking and upsetting to me - I thought that Scripture only condoned this extreme and last resort decision in the case of gross immoral behaviour and blatent unrepentance. I had not been caught in any sin, or confessed to any such sin. It seemed to me this was all happening because of "a feeling" of the church leader. Thanks to the gracious work of the Holy Spirit over time I can now appreciate the sincerity of the church leaders in doing what I am sure they felt was right. I can appreciate their bravery in being prepared to make a hard decision and being prepared to be extremely unpopular. I still don't agree with it or them. But can appreciate it and know the blessed relief of "It is well with my soul".

D. The Present

This post (both Pete and I felt) had to be written because of a recent unpleasant incident which has acted as a catalyst to get this post written. We both felt that the Holy Spirit was desiring to use this to the best and maybe break down some walls of bigotry and ignorance within His Church. Furthermore I was amazed at how quickly "FEAR" began to attempt to control me again because of what happened in this incident. I was genuinely terrified that I was going to be "exposed" in public. So this post is a way of defeating that fear. I have told the truth here and therefore the fear has got nothing to grab hold of because there is nothing left to be revealed!

The incident was this - I am a reluctant member of Facebook and mainly use it as a method of storing my own photos. For my birthday in December I treated both myself and my friend to a luxurious stay in a hotel in Birmingham called "Malmaison". We enjoyed "deep tissue massages" - an experience in and of itself! - and generally had an amazing time! It was just what I needed after my trouble at work and re-occurance of depression. I put those photos on Facebook. I should add that I slept in the double bed and my friend slept on the sofa in the adjoining lounge.

I had a couple of messages on Facebook from an individual I know expressing concern at the photos. That person had examined the photos in detail and had come to some wrong conclusions about what happened (or might have happened) that weekend. (Ironically I spent the weekend with the same friend that I had been "commanded" to cut out of my life by the SGM leaders - so talk about deja vu!) Like the SGM leadership I can truly appreciate the sincerity of this individual and the bravery in wishing to address it knowing they would be unpopular. But like the SGM leadership the tone was accusatory at best and and the result was condemnation. And as Terry Virgo said; "Condemnation is a work of darkness - it doesn't work".

This person has accepted that their concerns are unfounded and apologised (unlike the SGM leaders who to my knowledge have never backed down and admitted they were wrong) - but there is a principle that concerns me. And it is this;

Just because I may have admitted that I struggle with "bisexual" feelings does NOT mean that every man I spend time with, I am living in sin with. Just as every heterosexual man who spends time with a woman is not necessarily living in sin with. I live in a flat with two other people and both are dear friends to me. But the thought of anything "more" .... ?!?! To use Sheila's now famous phrase; "Ack!!". I regularly go away with girl friends that I work with and are good friends with but the thought of anything "more"??!!? Ack!!

Both Pete and I agreed that everyone is liable to fall - but Galatians is clear - if we walk in the Spirit, we WILL NOT fulfill the lusts of the flesh! Todd Bentley's tragic fall proves that even a man deep in the anointing can be succeptible to fall.

But that FEAR of being tempted surely cannot stop us from taking the Gospel of grace to those who need it!

This friend who I love spending time with came to the Newfrontiers Leadership Conference in Brighton and experienced the prayer meeting as his FIRST experience of Christianity! He heard God speaking to him with words of love and acceptance and welcome and he still remembers that experience even though it was 4 years ago! Something happened and I fervently believe that "He who began a good work WILL complete it!".

E. The CHALLENGE

By and large homosexual people know that the Church don't approve of what they do and they think that the Church doesn't like them. And pretty much I am sad to say they are right. Scott and I happened to be at CCK in Brighton during the Gay Mardis Gras celebration and I was interested to see if it got a mention. It did - but not in a positive "let's go out and show them what REAL life and REAL celebration is like". So imagine my thrill, tears and joy when I was at the Glory and Grace Conference in Hong Kong and I heard Isi de Gersigny say this;

"I encourage people to sit on the front row with me because I am sick and tired of this front-row, second-row, third-row rubbish! I want PROSTITUTES sitting next to me! I want to reach the gays of Sydney! I want the kings and queens of Sydney's streets to be near me! I want to see chains break off! I want to see glory in people's eyes! I want them to see what I am seeing! Because He is more glorious than what people have made Him out to be! His eyes are like consuming fire that wraps around you and you will never be the same!".

There ARE true grace churches out there and it is my prayer that this positive, open love for homosexual people - both men and women - will spread like a brushfire. Because the challenge is this - unless the Church changes it's attitude then the homosexual community simply won't come. And even more definately won't listen to the church's message that what they do and who they love is wrong. I was impressed to consider Jesus Christ's attitude and behaviour when He dealt with the "untouchables" of His day.

The parable in Matthew 22 is interesting to consider - how would it compare to today? In Matthew 22:4 the king sent His servants to His guests saying that the banquet was ready. But they ignored Him and spurned His generosity and grace. Then (v9) is relevant here;

"Go therefore to the main highways, and as many as you find there, invite to the wedding feast".

I know that exegetically that applies to Israel rejecting the Messiah and the Gospel then being given to the Gentiles but it shows to me the Father heart of God. That the Gentiles were the unacceptable to the Jews and the Pharisees. They were called "dogs"! Does the Christian community really think of the homosexual community as much better? One of my main problems with Mark Driscoll was the offensive comments he has made about homosexuals. How is that demonstrating the love of God to the ends of the earth?

So in conclusion - our attitudes must change. I don't know if God will ever "make me straight". But what I do suspect that if I had grown up "straight" then I have no doubt I would have the same proud bigoted attitudes towards the homosexual community as those that I have experienced and that have hurt me so much. I am so grateful to God that He has chosen to allow me to be in this position - because maybe in a small way I can reach the lost and the hurting one by one and show the homosexual people that God loves them JUST AS MUCH as He does the respectable sinner who lusts in private or who lies and cheats. Sin is sin. And the respectable sins drove Jesus Christ to the Cross just as much as the homosexual. The homosexual person is just as in danger of falling as the proud man.

Let the fires of the grace of God sweep across the world from pole to pole and from sea to sea. Jesus Christ spread out His arms and said; "It is finished! Father forgive THEM!". And that is an inclusive statement to all that come to Him and receive His imputed righteousness!

A Prophetic Declaration for 2009 (I hope!)

I've had a mixed start to 2009 - some impending awful meetings, the prospect of weaning of anti-depressants, just general unpleasantness over the last few days really. I am battling that by repeating and re-telling myself the glorious wonder of my salvation and standing in the righteousness of Jesus Christ! Wow - never fails!

However I was interested to learn some theological tit(d)-bits from Terry Virgo's blog. Always exciting for a bibliophile like myself.

"It is particularly extraordinary to notice that three commentaries on the book of Galatians will be published this year – one by D A Carson, one by Thomas Schreiner and one by Douglas Moo. One can hardly wait!".

But the best statement that I have read came next. Terry Virgo is a recognised prophet and I pray - pray - pray that this statement is PROPHETIC for 2009! Here it is;

"This should be a hard year for legalists!".

Let it be so! Every bone in my body aches so!

A Song of Sonship ...

The last couple of blog posts have quite coincidentally been about the issue of sonship. It was a coincidence particularly as the sermon I have been transcribing of Rob's over New Year has been: "Sonship vs Christianity". My prayer at the end of 2008 was that a kingdom of sons would rise up to change the world. Thanks to Jonathan Edwards I have been reading and basking in a series of quotes that have drawn attention again and again to the spirit of sonship we have received.

There is an absolutely perfect song of worship that couldn't sum this up better. It is the hymn; "Before the Throne of God" and couldn't have been sung more perfectly than at Stoneleigh Bible Week in 1998 and led by Lou Fellingham. Fortunately that year they captured the worship on video so can be replayed here. The one line of the song that keeps on replaying round my mind is;

"For God the Just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me".

How better can the gospel be summed up!? Here are the videos - I had to split them up because the song is a bit long! But well worth it! May they exceedingly bless;







When I look at the faces of the gathered thousands at Stoneleigh, it seems to me that mankind is never more glorious than when he is worshipping his Maker, his Lord and his Father.

Convicted of Righteousness - a good thing?

There's a very interesting discussion going on over at Mark Heath's website; "Word and Spirit". Interestingly enough he has pulled a verse up for examination that until last October caused me enormous guilt problems and then at "Glory and Grace" in Hong Kong, I saw it in a new light and then caused me wonderful joy! The verse is John 16:8-11;

"And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: Of sin, because they believe not on me; Of righteousness, because I go to my Father, and ye see me no more; Of judgment, because the prince of this world is judged".

So at my home church - New Covenant Church in Dunstable - when things were taking a slightly sour cessationist downturn, this verse was regularly used to brow-beat the people of God into showing that the Holy Spirit is given mainly to "CONVICT"! Not to do fun, exciting things like distribute spiritual gifts. And the dangerous mix of Old and New Covenant law and grace was then subtly applied to suggest that if we were not humbly desperately feeling bad about our sin then the Holy Spirit was not really and truly at work within us. Seriously. I have an old church magazine in my possession where the editorial said that the gift of tongues is a SELFISH gift (well if it's selfish to want to build yourself up in the faith by talking in tongues and following the example of the apostle Paul - then gimme more!)

Anyway - so as I said I never really liked this verse until I heard Rob Rufus preach and expound it in his sermon on the Holy Spirit, the Sunday after "Glory and Grace" on the 28th October. He showed that while part of the role of the Holy Spirit is to show the world that they are sinners and need a Saviour - the part of His role towards us is to actually show us and convict us that we ARE righteous and that we HAVE the imputed righteousness of God! Rob asked the question - if we have received "all the fullness of Christ", why would the Holy Spirit come and point out gaps where we need to add works to Christ's finished work? That would suggest that the Cross was somehow defective - and it got us in but hasn't finished us off. And that is blasphemous.

So with that mixed history with this verse I was interested to read Mark's post; "Convicted of Righteousness" and see that he too has been visiting commentaries and examining what this verse means. Typically of Mark's careful scholarship and love of reading he examines commentaries which was helpful - only I was disappointed with Don Carson's usually honest examination of the text. Apparantly Carson thought that the verse had something to do with; "the Spirit is simply continuing an important aspect of the ministry of Jesus, confronting and challenging religious hypocrisy". Hmm ... not convinced!

I left an inital comment mainly because I have been reading Jonathan Edwards "Notes on Scripture" - my new Christmas present! - and was excited to see how similar some of Jonathan Edwards conclusions on law and grace are to Rob Rufus's. So I left a comment with a quote of Edwards I found on Galatians 5:18 that I posted a few days ago. My good friend Julie left a concise and helpful comment too saying;

"Keeping that in mind the interpretation you bring up would make no sense, but that the job of the Holy Spirit is to convince believers of their righteousness in Jesus would be very consistent with the rest of Scripture in the New Covenant".

This is important - it's not so much a case of finding the writer or teacher that best supports your view but examining the explanation that is most consistent with the New Covenant! Julie also had a vital comment on how we view sin in New Covenant life;

"I think you have given a rather old covenant definition of sin, thinking it is primarily bad behaviour. New covenenant definition of sin is unbelief (which could lead to bad behaviour), concerning what we believe about God and how righteousness is obtained".

Last night I was continuing to read Jonathan Edwards and was thrilled to find his exact comment on the verse in question and Edwards wrote this;

"On John 16:8-11;

And when the Comforter has come, He will convince the world of sin, of righteousness, of judgement. He shall convict the world of sin as men must be convinced of their guilt in order to receive Christ. That is the reason that sin and guilt lie upon them because they believe not on Christ and their rejecting Christ above all things enhances their guilt".

(Here it is:)

“Of righteousness” - that is He will convict them of the sufficiency of Christ’s righteousness of the way of REMOVING guilt by Him. Christ finished His work as priest, or what He did for the removing of guilt by His ascending into heaven, His entering into the holiest of all with His own blood to make intercession for us and thereby GAVE EVIDENCE TO THE WORLD THAT WHAT HE HAD DONE WAS ENOUGH”.

That is such good news! Evidence has been given to the world by the fact that Jesus Christ sat down at the right hand of the Father and poured out the Holy Spirit that what He has done is ENOUGH! The Cross of Jesus Christ is entirely 100% sufficient! There is not a gap left to be filled by "our works". Our works can do NOTHING! Our acts achieve NOTHING with the Father! God is only ever and always interested in the perfect righteousness of His Son! Only that - ONLY that will give us bold access to the Father! So yes in a sense my former church was partially right. The Holy Spirit isn't just about tongues and prophecy. His key work is to come into us as a Spirit of sonship and give us assurance that we are accepted in the beloved and He will convict us when doubt and fear set in that we are sons and that Christ's righteousness is accepted - God the just is satisfied!

Okay - I am getting excitable and shouting. Deep breaths! ...

Jonathan Edwards on the Reality of the Spirit

Another quote from the great Jonathan Edwards and his "Notes on Scripture". Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones - while professing a great respect for the Puritans of the 17th century said that he preferred Jonathan Edwards because he felt that Edwards was more "experimental" in his theology than John Owen, Thomas Goodwin and so on. Reading a quote like this makes it clear why Dr Lloyd-Jones felt so.

Edwards was commenting on Hebrews 6:4-6.

"Tis not probable that they should have the Holy Ghost dwelling in them with respect to His miraculous influences and not feel anything of the power of it in their souls.

When the Holy Ghost was given them, they felt His Presence not only outwardly but inwardly, not only in their understanding but also affections.

They experienced the powers of the age to come, that is of the invisible world, felt the powers of the invisible agents of that world upon their minds. Tis certain none exercised miraculous gifts without extrordinary influence of the Spirit of God to convince their judgement".

Now ... it's been a while since I have mentioned the whole issue of the baptism of the Holy Spirit. For those who have been following this blog for a while - you will know that my church history brought about a personal and wider interest in this whole issue. Briefly - my home church was traditionally charismatic - but maintained a healthy balance between Word and Spirit (although I realise now that there was a dangerous mix also of law and grace). We were involved deeply with the Dales Bible Weeks and went to the Downs Bible Weeks before setting up our own Bible Week.

Church was an EXCITING place to be! Even I remember that as a child. I still remember when it was a communion service the pastor and elders would simply sit down and wait for the Holy Spirit to move throughout the congregation and inspire prophetic words or tongues. I found it almost nerve-wracking wondering what would happen. There was frequently times of testimony after the church had been away to the Bible Weeks where Ern Baxter was often the main speaker - and it was guaranteed that you would hear people testifying to how they had been baptised in the Holy Spirit.

Then everything changed. And not for the better. The key moment seemed to be when the senior pastor brought out a booklet announcing that he had decided to change his mind on the baptism of the Spirit. He had taught that it was a distinct experience that Jesus Christ poured out on believers. Now he was teaching that it was something that happened automatically and non-experientially at conversion. The trouble was that this happened in 1997. Just before he brought out that booklet I had gone to university and heard a sermon asking "Had I received when I believed?".

I became a Christian 10 years before in 1987 at a church crusade in Dunstable called; "Life with Purpose". An evangelist called Don Summers had preached a message and I was convicted and knew I had not come to a personal encounter with Jesus Christ Himself. However I never received "anyone" in experience and in power. It was a cerebral decision and there was no accompanying experience other than fear - because I had to go up the front to respond! So hearing this sermon at university convinced me and I went up the front again and had hands laid on me and received the baptism of the Spirit in power. About a week later I started speaking with tongues in the shower - of all places!

So when I read this booklet I was incredibly disturbed and upset. I was being told by a pastor I had the most respect for that what happened to me was not real. I knew from my experience that it most certainly WAS real! But I went to the Scripture and began looking through books to try and find out what was going on. I have John Piper to thank for putting me onto Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones. I read his message to the Bethlehem Conference for Pastors: "A Passion for Christ-Exalting Power" and learned it wasn't just mad charismatics who believed in this! Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones had preached a series of sermons on John 1 which was later put into an outstanding book called "Joy Unspeakable".

Dr Lloyd-Jones persuaded me - and no one has ever even come close to "un-persuading" me. One of the key issues for me is this - the original Jonathan Edwards quote.

"Tis not probable that they should have the Holy Ghost dwelling in them with respect to His miraculous influences and not feel anything of the power of it in their souls".

How can it be? The Bible describes the baptism of the Holy Spirit in such glorious terms. I wouldn't be quite as definitive as many Pentecostals in insisting that the baptism of the Spirit ALWAYS has to be accompanied by the gift of tongues - but I certainly do think that the book of Acts suggests that something outward will happen at this event - whether it be tongues, prophesying, a word of knowledge, visions. I realise that many of those teachers (such as my former pastor) who deny this insist and take pride in the fact that they are "men of the Word". But it just simply doesn't tie up for me.

HOW can this EVER be an event that is NON-experiential?!

I will close with one of my favourite Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones quotes where he addresses such men who teach this;

"There is nothing, I am convinced, that so ‘quenches’ the Spirit as the teaching which identifies the baptism of the Holy Ghost with regeneration. But it is a very commonly held teaching today, indeed it has been the popular view for many years. It is said that the baptism of the Holy Spirit is ‘nonexperimental’, that it happens to every one at regeneration.

So we say, ‘Ah well, I am already baptized with the Spirit; it happened when I was born again, at my conversion; there is nothing for me to seek, I have got it all’. Got it all? Well, if you have ‘got it all’, I simply ask in the Name of God, why are you as you are? If you have ‘got it all’, why are you so unlike the Apostles, why are you so unlike the New Testament Christians?".

Sounds Familiar?? On Sonship.

Being a person of extremes - it's usually no secret to anyone who comes within a 10 mile radius of the people that I love and the people that I ... well, don't. So I am also aware that my enthusiastic love of Rob Rufus and his ministry from Hong Kong will be no secret to anyone - whatever their opinions on Rob himself and the varied opinions on whether Rob has taken grace "too far" or not. Well I was at work last night and was reading a book (I won't tell you what it was until you have read the quote). Read it, and consider how similar it is to Rob himself and other grace teachers such as Terry Virgo and then see who said it.

It's a quote inspired by Galatians 5:18: "But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law" and here it is:

"Laws aren't made for children and for intimate and dear friends but for servants. A being under law in the more ordinary use of the expression among the apostles was inconsistent with liberty.

Why is it said; "If you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law" and what is the connection between being led by the Spirit and not being under the law? The connection consists in two things:

1. As this evidences their not being under law.

Their being led by the Spirit is an evidence of their being in Christ who has fulfilled the law and delivered them from it ... children aren't under law as servants.

2. It renders them not proper subjects of the law.

A being led by the Spirit is a thing that causes that alteration with respect to them that renders them unapt to be subjects of law.

a. By their having the Spirit given them, they are advanced to that state that they don't agree with a state of subjection to the law (2 Corinthians 3:17).

Being sons it is suitable that they should be dealt with after another manner - to hold them under law is to treat them as servants (2 Corinthians 2:6, 7); "thou art no more a servant but a son".

b. The Spirit of Christ in Christians or spirit of adoption actuating and leading is a principle that supercedes the law and sets them ABOVE the law. The law obliges to no other things but what the Spirit inclines to and is sufficient for ...

The Spirit is better than the letter.

They that have the Spirit of Christ in them have the law written in their hearts according to God's promise. The Spirit of Christ is superior to the law and sets a person above subjection to the law because it is a principle that is superior to a legal principle.

The Spirit of adoption evidences to them their being the children of God and begets that trust and assurance that renders them incapable of a legal principle (Romans 8:15-16).

Note this point in particular!:

"If a person has not that legal principle or principle of fear, he has not that principle that the law which exacts obedience was made to influence and work upon and therefore is not a proper subject of law because being destitute of that principle, the law takes no hold of him for it finds no principle in him to take hold by.

A being led by the Spirit of the Son of God as a spirit of adoption is inconsistent with a state of bondage, as sonship is inconsistent with servitude".

I hope that quote is understandable to everyone. What is being said is that fear (the legal principle that was the law's strength) and the Spirit of adoption is totally and utterly inconsistent. It sounds too good to be true but essentially the argument is this - if we are sons then we are co-heirs with Jesus Christ and therefore we are above the law. I can hear heresy-alarms going off straight away! But it's there in the Bible - we are no more servants but sons!

You may have probably guessed that the author of this quote is indeed Jonathan Edwards and the quote itself is taken from my new "Notes on Scripture". But what particularly interested me and excited me was the paralell between this comment and the sermon of Rob's I've been transcribing for him: "Sonship vs Christianity". Rob spent a lot of time showing that "fear" (or as Jonathan Edwards called it; the legal principle) is the power of law. He said this;

"Sons have a spirit from the Father in them so they will never fear again. What is the fear? The fear that the Father will abandon me because I've sinned and made mistakes ... the fear that the Father is not able to supply me with what I need because I am not good enough and I am not holy enough so I will be rejected. Sons are led by a spirit that will never put them in fear again!

The whole purpose of the law was to point out your faults, point out how wrong you were, point out what you should be doing and that you will be judged and rejected by God under that law ... the Holy Spirit didn't come to replace that and just carry on making you feel bad - no! The Holy Spirit came to totally remove the law and to show you that you are a son and that if you live in the Spirit not circumstances ... then you are walking in a spirit that will never make you a slave to fear again!".

How awesomely similar is that? My whole point in juxta-posing these two quotes is not to find a defence for Rob Rufus. Rob is merely preaching a message. My excitement is that Jonathan Edwards read this Scripture hundreds of years ago and came to the same revelation that Rob has come to. That the law attempted to exact obedience by fear - fear of consequences if it was not kept to the letter. But we now who are in the New Covenant have received a Spirit of adoption. We are SONS!

What earthly father would run his household using fear to exact obedience? What earthly father would use the threat that if he was not obeyed then he would "disfellowship" the son from his household? It just wouldn't happen surely. Just so with our heavenly Daddy! Now we are sons, we have His Spirit within us crying out "Abba!" and He too will NOT use fear to attempt to exact obedience. Later on in the quote, Jonathan Edwards goes on to say that the Father wants obedience from a joyful and willing heart. Let me repeat one of the first things Edwards said because I love it so much;

"Laws aren't made for children and for intimate and dear friends but for servants ... the Spirit is better than the letter ... A being led by the Spirit of the Son of God as a spirit of adoption is inconsistent with a state of bondage, as sonship is inconsistent with servitude".