Why Do We Keep Remembering what God Forgets?

This post was recently written by a US pastor called Wade Burleson in response to SGM's emphasis on "indwelling sin". He quotes an example I have heard John Piper and Sam Storms use in relation to this issue - that of Jason and the Argonauts. It's a great post. Many of us ex-SGMers are now resorting to contacting counselors (something C J Mahaney adamantly was against) because many of us are near nervous breakdowns trying to work through this teaching and it's impact.

Why Do We Keep Remembering What God Forgets?

“As we mature personally, as our families mature, and as our churches mature, we need the doctrine of sin more, not less; and we need to keep growing in rightly understanding and applying this doctrine. Be assured that this is no less true if you’re a pastor or teacher or ministry worker. There’s no pastoral privilege in relation to sin. There’s no ministry exemption from the opposition of the flesh. There’s only a heightened responsibility to oppose sin and to weaken the flesh, as an example to the flock.” -C.J. Mahaney, Humility (Sisters, OR: Multnomah, 2005), page 133.

The movement C.J. Mahaney founded, Sovereign Grace Ministries, is one that is supposedly built on an understanding and application of God's grace. I recently listened to several messages by Mahaney and read a couple of his books, including the one quoted from above. I find myself rather surprised. SGM seems to focus God's people on the subject of 'sin' much more than they do Christ. Rather than an emphasis on growing in grace within the body of Christ, there is a stated goal by SGM's founder of 'growing in the doctrine of sin.' That, to me, is quite shocking.

In Hebrews 10:17-18 the Lord says, “This is the covenant I will make with them (us)… I will remember their sins no more.”

For the life of me I can't understand why pastors would put emphasis on remembering what God forgets.

There’s no denial Christians struggle with ‘indwelling sin.’ There's also no denial that sin is destructive. The question, though, is "How does a believer defeat indwelling sin?" I am absolutely, positively, one-hundred-percent convinced that every Christian leader who places more emphasis in his ministry to Christians on indwelling sin than he does Jesus Christ, will ultimately lead his people down the path of religious bondage, emotional pain and spiritual abuse. Sin's power and influence are only diminished by displaying the beauty of Jesus Christ. Focus on sin and it entices you; focus on Christ and He enraptures you. An easy way to remember this axiom of the faith is: "There's no high like the Most High!" When God's people regular taste of Him "and see that He is good," every false high that sin brings will be recognized as a sorry substitute for the real thing. The ancient people said as much when they asked of Philip, "Sir, we would see Jesus" (John 12:21).

Focusing on sin may 'sound' spiritual, but it is in essence anti-Christ. Binding God's people to
various religious rituals (church attendance, quiet time, devotionals, 30-minute morning prayers, promises, commitments, accountability, etc...) in order to overcome indwelling sin is completely missing Christ.

Focus on Christ, not your performance or lack thereof. Focus on Christ, not your accountability or lack thereof. Focus on Christ, not your church attendance or lack thereof. When Christ is your focus, you will find growing satisfaction and delight in Him! When that happens, indwelling sin loses its power because it loses its enticement.

Religious bondage may lead you to THINK the power of sin is gone in your life, but in reality, you haven't changed a lick by the bondage. All that's happened to you is you've been tied down by religion's rituals. If somebody were to cut the ropes that tie you to the institution of the church, you'd be sin's dead meat. But as you taste of the sweetness of Christ, sin begins to lose its power.

I've already quoted Hebrews 10:17-18 as the biblical basis for the good practice of NOT remembering (or focusing) on what God forgets, but let me see if I can illustrate this principle from ancient Greek mythology.

Odysseus and his mighty sailors sailed the Aegean Sea. The sorceress Circe had warned Odysseus and his men to be wary of the beautiful but deadly Sirens. These half-woman, half-beast creatures would entice sailors with their beautiful music, compelling the men to sail closer to the island of the Sirens. Without warning, the Sirens would swoop down, kill and canabilize the sailors who had sailed too close to the island of the Sirens. The sorceress told Odysseus that he and his sailors should have their ears filled with wax to block the Sirens' songs from being heard. Odysseus complied with the instructions by ordering his men to fill their ears with wax. He, however, wanted to hear the Sirens' beautiful songs for himself. So he told his sailors to tie him up to the mast with strong ropes so that when the Sirens began to sing, he could focus on the singing, but he could not jump ship and swim toward the enticing but deadly island. The sailors complied and bound their captain to the ship's mast. When the ship sailed near the island of the Sirens, music began to fill the air, and Odysseus focused on the beautiful songs and found himself enraptured. He began to fight the ropes and chains that bound him, longing to draw closer to the Sirens. He struggled with all his might to free himself from the bondage. He wanted to free himself, but he was trapped and held by the ropes and men on his ship. His battle with bondage was bloody and ugly. Odysseus avoided death at the hands of the Sirens, but he was a miserable wretch as his shipmates sought to hold Odysseus "accountable" and keep him safe.

On the other hand, Jason and the Argonauts dealt with the Sirens in a different manner. They too sailed the Aegean, but unlike Odysseus, they refused the ear wax, the strong ropes, and all attempts to "bind" anyone to the mast of the ship. Instead, they brought the greatest musician in the land onto their ship, a Muse named Orpheus, and they ordered him to play his beautiful music. The music from Orpheus' lyre and harp was so much sweeter, so far better, so incredibly more beautiful than the songs of the Sirens that Jason and the Argonauts had no desire to listen to the Sirens' songs when their ship passed by the island of the Sirens. What kept Jason and the Argonauts on the ship was the greater pleasure and beauty of Orpheus' music.

Odysseus and Jason serve as parabolic illustrations for the modern church. The great mistake of many Christian leaders, including many associated with SGM, is that they are attempting the Odysseus approach to indwelling sin in their people. They wish to expose sin (confess it), focus on sin (analyze it), control sin ('by binding people'), as they put more and more emphasis on sin as "God's people 'mature.'"

The only thing that this particular emphasis brings is tired, worn out people who collapse under the weight of 'authoritative leaders' and their edicts on how to be 'more holy.'

Pastors need to be more like Jason and the Argonauts. We need to bring Jesus into the church like Jason brought Orpheus onto the boat. Talk of Christ. Preach of Christ. Tell of Christ. Magnify Christ. Exalt Christ. Honor Christ. Uplift Christ. Sing of Christ. Speak of Christ. Point to Christ. Focus on Christ. The sweet music of Christ as written in the sacred hymn of Scripture is sufficient. The Holy Spirit does a pretty convincing job of guiding His people by the island of sin when the sweet song of the Savior is being played.

Rob Rufus on Matthew 18:9

It's long been irritating to me that many so-called New Covenant teachers and men of grace have been known to use Matthew 18:8-9 in application for Christians today (I have even heard Terry Virgo make reference to it). Just as a reminder, the verse says;

"If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be cast into the fiery hell. If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be cast into the fiery hell".

I used to believe this was true - that we seriously had to be so radical in fighting sin that we should be prepared to chop our limbs off if they caused us to sin. But I'm listening to Rob Rufus speak at a conference in East London in South Africa and he makes such a plainly obvious point - it's laughable (if it wasn't so tragic). Speaking on Christians using this verse, he said;

"Even if you can't see and you can't grab - you can still imagine!".

And of course the law makes it absolutely clear (as applied by Jesus Christ) - if you lust after someone in your heart or if you hate someone then you have committed the sin. So we MUST re-evaluate the use of this verse and re-question the context. What is Jesus saying here? And of course - what makes perfect sense is that as Rob says, Jesus is preaching the law "on steroids" to make it so obvious that the law simply CANNOT be met.

That is why we need the gospel so desperately!

Grace-Based Purity in the Church

I am really pleased that Matt Hosier from Poole wrote this article in the most recent Newfrontiers magazine - because it addresses an issue I've been worrying about and thinking about for some time. My church background (Dunstable and Sovereign Grace Ministries) has been pretty much obsessed with sin. Particularly in SGM, sin was talked about regularly and discussions on how to mortify it usually in "accountability groups". But what concerned me was that although these churches were admirably passionate about defeating sin if they could - both were harsh when it came to dealing with sinners who confessed. I witnessed people being disciplined publicly in Dunstable and of course was excommunicated myself from SGM (although the pastors have explained why this was done - an instruction from above).

My question was always - how on earth do the church expect Christian sinners to confess particularly what they see as "big" or "bad" sins such as sexual promiscuity when they are treated as such? It is perfectly okay to confess to sins such as "pride" or "lying" (sins, Jerry Bridges calls; "Respectable" and sins God hates by the way!) - but if you confess you struggle with pornography or homosexuality for example, then you are treated with mistrust and at times panic on how to deal with you.

So I am glad that Matt has addressed the issue (even though I don't think he goes far enough with his understanding of the gift of righteousness we are given in Christ Jesus). He says;

"The apostles were radically serious about sin, yet at the same time radically gracious towards sinners. This is a difficult line for us to tread. Typically we tend to fall into one of two traps. Either there is a seriousness about sin that leads to intolerance, or there is a compassion towards sinners that leads to complacency about sin. Both of these traps create serious problems in the life of a local church".

And this is so true. Churches either seem to reflect my Dunstable church or SGM - or do indeed act as though they are complacent about sin. The very serious problem of harshness towards sinners that I have experienced brings problems for non-believers - Matt says;

"If our church culture is one of intolerance, then sinners will walk in and feel they cannot possibly find a place among us – ‘Everyone here seems to have their life sorted, no problems. How could I possibly fit?’ In this kind of church no one ever confesses their sin because they fear that if they do so they will be treated like lepers and ostracised by everyone else. Inevitably this leads to hypocrisy, as all kinds of things are kept hidden which should be brought to the light. This kind of church becomes like a whitewashed tomb – outwardly respectable but inwardly full of worms".

And this was very much the case in my Dunstable church and in SGM. We heard of divorces and of child abuse at times in Dunstable - and I have friends in SGM in the USA who also have reported of shocking child abuse, affairs, addiction to pornography - all while these individuals are going to their "accountability groups". As Matt says; "outwardly respectable but inwardly full of worms".

I love the way that he uses the churches in Corinth and Galatia to highlight the point;

"It is helpful for us to consider the very different contexts of the churches in Galatia and Corinth. In the Galatian churches the problem was one of heavy-handed legalism, while in Corinth it was one of shocking immorality. Yet the solution Paul offers to both settings is the same: Grace!".

And the answer to the problem?

"For the Galatians this meant a fresh revelation of the sufficiency of Christ’s sacrifice, a sacrifice that brings us into freedom. In their desire to live in moral purity, the Galatians were taking their eyes off the grace that was theirs in Christ and relying on strictures of the law – and by so doing were failing to act in love towards one another.

By contrast, the Corinthians were letting pretty much anything go and had lost sight of the fact that a true response to Christ’s sacrifice results in holy living – and as a consequence they too were failing to display love towards one another. In both cases, the solution Paul offers is a deeper understanding of the work of Christ and a deeper response to his grace".

He says quite rightly that it is fear of sin that can lead to many of the problems faced here in so many churches;

"Often what can drive us to look more like Corinth or Galatia than like a people of grace is fear. Fear of immorality and the corrupting nature of the society around us can lead us into legalism and the errors of Galatia. But fear of legalism and a desire to be relevant to the society around us can lead us into immorality and the errors of Corinth. We are forever in danger of crashing into the twin rocks of legalism or license. The only safe course is not to keep veering between the two, but to sail in the clear deep waters of the grace of God. It is grace that frees us from fear and it is grace that keeps us secure".

My problem of course with this article is that rather than going into what the "deep waters of the grace of God" are - he doesn't. But as I said, I am really glad the issue of how sin is dealt with in church has been brought to the table. I hope it at least causes some church leaders to honestly assess how safe it is for their church members to feel able to be honest and loved for being human.

Condemned!! Or Not Guilty?

I try to be cautious these days writing a blog that may come across as attacking the views or expression of someone in particular. It's no secret that I've written angrily against SGM in particular in the past and particularly the church in Bristol - and I'm trying to address that in my own private way and make peace there. So believe me - I'm trying to learn and trying to grow! I'm even more cautious when writing against someone whom I am privilidged to count as a friend. That being said, I am so blessed to have the kind of friendship with Janelle that we do indeed disagree on many points of theology and Christian life - but know there is far more we do agree about. I've learnt a lot about SGM's way of life from Janelle and indeed she alongside Pete Greasley have probably been the most influential in softening my feelings!

So that context in place - a conversation has been happening on a post a few back entitled; "Curing the Gays" and this was prompted by the media interest in Philippa Stroud and her election campaign (incidentally I was interested to know that Mrs Stroud is now special advisor to Ian Duncan-Smith, the former Conservative leader) - to the dismay of some and the delight of others.

It was a conversation I was particularly taking seriously because a new Twitter friend of mine - a guy called Tom - has taken part and I was interested in his views and wanted to learn from his point of view. For heaven's sake - Christians are notorious among non-Christians for being obstinate and utterly inflexible. I don't want to propigate that (mostly) truth. If I am going to have any credibility with the people I want to share the good news with - then I want to know what's going on in their mind and their thoughts and learn why the good news of the gospel will be of use to them. So often the Christian world dumps the gospel out as it thinks the non-Christian world needs it - and can't understand why it's message is received as utterly irrelevant.

Janelle was involved in the conversation - but it was a comment she made that caught my attention and has had me thinking all day. She said;

"Tom, since the Bible condemns homosexuality as a sin, so Christians must do the same".

There is some other context in the comment - considering how homosexuality is a worse sin in her view than gluttony - so I do recommend a read.

The Bible condemns homosexuality as a sin. So Christians must do the same.

Let's consider that carefully - because if it's true there are some implications for me personally. It explains to me maybe why I received the treatment I did at the SGM church in Bristol. If Janelle is right then the two church leaders were simply following the Biblical mandate to "condemn homosexuality as a sin". I had confessed to them that I had same-sex feelings so therefore condemnation from the church was rightfully deserved. And actually I am the one in sin for being angry and upset with what happened. She may be right.

Alternatively Janelle may be wrong and actually what right do Christians (sinners saved by grace alone) have to condemn ANYTHING?! Well clearly I have a vested interest in finding out. It may decide whether I ever enter a church again or not.

The Word: "Condemn(ation)".

1. Defined.

1. to pass an adverse judgment on; disapprove of strongly; censure

2a. to pass judicial sentence on; inflict a penalty upon
2b. to doom

3. to declare unfit for use or service

I find 2c; "To doom" particularly striking. I should note some of the definitions actually rather accurately describe some of the attitudes portrayed by the religious church. Does that make it right however? There's only one way to find out;

2. Useage in the Word of God.

Unsurprisingly the majority of the references to the word; "Condemn" are in the Old Testament. However there are some surprising references that foreshadow the coming of the glorious New Covenant and the gospel that must be mentioned;

Psalm 34:22: "The Lord redeems the soul of His servants - and none of those who take refuge in Him will be condemned".

I find that tremendous comfort knowing the struggling depths of my heart. I have felt so utterly condemned time after time by Christians who seem on the face of it never to put a foot wrong and are in fact shining lights in their churches - held up as model citizens and examples. I have frequently (and still do) asked God why on earth He ever called me. This verse says that those who genuinely take refuge in Him will NEVER be condemned. That's a promise.

Here's another interesting "Old Testament anomoly";

Isaiah 50:9; "Behold the Lord God helps me - who is he who condemns me? Behold they will all wear out like a garment. The moth will eat them".

I don't quite understand that promise from the Word of God - but I would not like to be in the position of someone who condemns those that the Lord God is helping. I don't know what the promise means - but I do not want to wear out like a garment or have a moth eat me. So far - I'm not fancying condemning those who the Lord God is helping.

Another;

Isaiah 54:17: "And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn - This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their vindication is from Me," declares the Lord".

This seems to suggest to me that in fact in His divine providence - the Lord actually reverses the tables on those religious who would condemn. "Every tongue that accuses you in judgement" - again the clear indication from the Word of God to me is that the Lord takes severe issue with those who attempt to do what only He should do.

There are of course other references in the Old Testament to condemnation - but not as many as I was expecting under an Old Covenant. Then we move into the New Covenant and the wonderful time of Jesus;

John 8:10-11: "Straightening up, Jesus said to her, "Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "I do not condemn you, either - Go From now on sin no more."

It's interesting that Jesus Christ asked the prostitute; "Did no one condemn you?". The Son of God knew that the religious community are somehow more than capable of condemning. But the key is in the answer. I do not condemn you either - on the basis of that declaration of freedom (and frankly who is going to disagree with the Son of God?) go in freedom and joy and live a life full of victory and peace and sin no more.

There are others but for now Romans 2:1 to close;

"Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things".

I would be extremely nervous of indulging in the discussion of "which is the greater sin - gluttony or homosexuality" that Janelle touched on. The Word of God is clear; "There is no impartiality with God". Sin is sin. And for that sin - there is a glorious solution. The Son of God went willingly to the Cross of Calvary and died for the sins of ALL Mankind. It is finished - meant it is finished. Every sin that offends and grieves God from time past to time present to the end of time was more than covered by the precious blood of the Son of God. Therefore;

Romans 8:1: "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus".

2 Corinthians 5:19: "God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation".

Our one and only message (as Julie said in her response comment) is the message of reconciliation. Terry Virgo said of condemnation;

"Condemnation is a WORK OF DARKNESS! It doesn't work! It has no power to change!".


Again - I would not relish indulging in activity that is entitled a "work of darkness with no power to change". Rather I choose to continue reaching out to the multitude of those who have not heard the full glory of the gospel - and far from condemn - make a full honest confession of my struggles and my journey. I am not going to pretend to be a "perfect, devout" Christian. I'd rather share with them my struggles, my journey - and how "this Jesus" has met me and loved me despite all I am and all I would be. THAT'S the miracle of the gospel!


Janelle - in all love and respect for you as a sister in Christ - condemn homosexuality if you feel you must and you should. Maybe you are confident of your sanctification to feel you can do that. But I remember again C J Mahaney's sermon; "Extravagant Devotion". And this quote in particular;


"He who has been forgiven much - loves much".


I used to wish that I really was a "perfect" Christian - whose worse sin was a bit of envy or a bit of pride. Or maybe a small bit of lust (because we're all men). But certainly not anything "bigger". Now actually I am beginning to appreciate what C J Mahaney was getting at. When you have experienced the depths of sin and struggle - you don't find much room in your heart for pride and arrogance. Me? I say again -

"The Cross does not have to be centred around me and be sustained by reflecting on my own personal failure! ... To insist on still calling myself a sinner could not add value to the Cross for me. Indeed, to call myself essentially a sinner actually dishonours the wonder of the gospel".

Speak Tenderly to My Bride ...

"Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path"

- Galatians 6:1 - New Living Translation.

"Speak tenderly to Jerusalem. Tell her that her sad days are gone and her sins are pardoned".

- Isaiah 40:2 - New Living Translation.

I have a suspicion that there is a quantity of nameless and faceless Christians hiding among the church ranks bearing varying amounts of guilt and shame because they are doing things that the church ranks as unacceptable behaviour. Most religious churches will call it "sin" - and will even unconciously rank various sins as "worse".

Whatever our views on grace and righteousness - whether we believe that Jesus Christ took ALL sin at Calvary and dealt with it or whether we believe in indwelling sin and an life-long mortification of sin battle - the fact is that these people are in churches hoping desperately that they will never be found out, seen, discovered because they fear the consequences. Sadly I am becoming increasingly aware that when they ARE found out - the church responds and deals with them harshly and abruptly. That discovery can come if the struggling individual is "foolish" enough to confess their struggles to a church leader. It can happen if they are spotted by a nosy elder's wife. The way it happens is irrelevant. The response is what I am thinking about. Because that response - I believe - can scare many off church for life.

Let's get an obvious caveat out the way;

There is behaviour that I am not endorsing and never will. Behaviour that Jesus Christ went to Calvary for. Behaviour that Terry Virgo calls; "sin as a saint with all the sadness and inappropriateness of it". Behaviour - let me make clear - that I have and still do slip into from time to time! You will not hear me say that grace makes it "okay" to sin.

But what I AM saying is that I do not believe there is any good news in lambasting the church by telling them they are sinners. I AM saying that church leaders who swiftly respond with harsh church discipline on sinners are hypocrites. If ... they have not taken the time and effort with tears and prayer to plead with the individual to abandon their way of life.

I have been so so utterly encouraged to hear Pete Greasley (pastor of an SGM church in Wales) say several times in his preaching something to the effect of; "I'm just like you! I am beside you - not above you!". Sadly - that is a rare thing to hear.

So here is what I heard recently. I heard that a church leader in this country has scared young people under his control because he said something to the effect of if he found his child was seeing a non-Christian girlfriend, he would throw them out of his home. Of course I heard that comment out of context. I heard that comment third hand. And I HOPE that I misunderstood that comment and it was highly overexaggerated. I hope that no parent would EVER contemplate throwing their child out of their home and disfellowshipping them from the family.

Maybe that church leader meant he would do so regretfully and after much tears and pleading and only if the young person in question would persist in the relationship. But what worried me is that there are young people who are now scared to admit they are seeing non-Christian girlfriends or boyfriends for fear that the church leader in question will tell their parents to throw them out of the house. But if these young people are even THINKING that such a thing is a possibility then surely something is drastically wrong in the church. Fear? Threats? Surely such behaviour cannot be further removed from the behaviour of Jesus Christ and a self-respecting New Covenant church.

Did or would Jesus Christ ever behave like that? Did He ever cast people from His Presence or endorse that parents do this? How did He behave towards people "caught in sin"? I thought of a few examples;

1. Let's imagine a worst-case scenario in a Western church. A man full of demons who keeps screaming out and beating up the church members and ripping his clothes. How would most Western churches respond? Sure - at first we would probably try and ignore the person - but I am sure it wouldn't be too long before the stewards were instructed to bar the doors. Jesus?

"When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and fell on his knees in front of him. He shouted at the top of his voice, "What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? Swear to God that you won't torture me!" For Jesus had said to him, "Come out of this man, you evil spirit!".

Did Jesus condone the "sin" or deny it's existance? No. Did He condemn the man? Certainly not. Did He excommunicate or disfellowship the man? No - the man was already pretty much disfellowshipped from the community among graves. What did Jesus do? He solved the problem with a living word.

An interesting point - when the demonised man saw Jesus - "He ran and fell on his knees in front of Him". Even with a legion of demons, the man could still recognise the bringer of grace. I wonder what would have happened if the Pharisees had landed on the shore - would he have run to them? Possibly - but only to beat them up.

2. Let's imagine another pretty-bad case scenario. A renowned and well known prostitute is a regular attender at a Western church. Something keeps her coming and sometimes she preys on men in the church and flirts with them. Everyone knows what she does but no one "talks" about it. What is the most likely response? Most probably again discipline and disfellowshipping for the "safety" of the church. The experience of Jesus reminds me of what I imagine most churches would do;

"He came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them. And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?".

What did Jesus do?

"But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not ... When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more".

I don't imagine that my ranting and raving here on a blog will persuade many - certainly not elderly church leaders set in their legalistic ways. I've got no particular interest in trying to get them to think whether what they are doing is truly Christ-like because my experiences tells me that they are usually quite sure that they are "pursuing righteousness".

A final point - do I believe there is a place for "putting such a one out to Satan"? I completely agree with a comment Pete Greasley made when we met for lunch. He said that such an action should be done - oh, so cautiously - and only after much prayer, tears, thought, and effort. Maybe there is a time where that has to be done, but I seriously fear for the church leader who finds it easy to take such an action. I know I for one wouldn't ever want to be in that position.

I want to speak to those "caught in sin" - WHATEVER sin that may be - and that's simply to say that I understand and have been there. REALLY been there. And have experienced the wrath of a church that has dragged me to Jesus and reminded Him of the law and demanded my "spiritual" death. And that's to say - you are always welcome here. I will always have a place in my heart and in my time for those who have been abandoned by the church or family. I will never say "enough". I will never say "Begone from me". As long as you want to put up with me - I will put up with you. And yes - I have got people in my mind when I am writing this. I will speak truth to you (or try to). I will remind you that you are a new creation and have the power to break sinful habits that bring you down.

But I won't spend much time talking to you about your struggles or habits. Most importantly of all I prefer to remind you that;

"The Cross does not have to be centred around me and be sustained by reflecting on my own personal failure! ... To insist on still calling myself a sinner could not add value to the Cross for me. Indeed, to call myself essentially a sinner actually dishonours the wonder of the gospel".

Unless You Become Like a Child ...

I'd like to take a different take on this "indwelling sin" discussion. We all think we know what God is like and what works best, but if we are truly honest - all we have to go on is our knowledge and understanding of the Word of God and also our experiences as a child. And maybe there is a reason why Jesus said to His disciples; "Unless you become like a child ...". So I took a trip down memory lane and started to think about the many, many times that I was disciplined, told-off, spanked and so on by my parents.

I should add my parents came from the school of thought that you "spare the rod and spoil the child".

So the numerous times that I was spanked, shouted at and generally told off tends to blur for me and doesn't particularly stand out to me. The one caveat is the times that I was punished unjustly when my parents got it wrong. For some reason as children my family all grew up with a rigorous sense of justice - and there was NOTHING that upset us more than the feeling of being treated unjustly. I guess that has still stuck with me - as some church leaders who have "got it wrong" should know!

However ... parents can react in different ways too. And I don't think any grown-up child will disagree if I say that there is nothing more stunning and breath-taking than to see your parent weep over you or your actions. I have seen it rarely that I recall - but the times I have I can recall vividly.

I remember my greatest hero Ern Baxter speaking about a time when as a teenage rebel he came in early in the morning after a wild night out and he saw a light still on under his Grandmother's bedroom door (who lived with him and his parents at the time). He stopped curiously to see why she was awake and heard a soft weeping from her room and heard her praying and interceeding for Ern and his soul. Ern recalled this story probably some 60 or so years later so it obviously stayed with him.

The second piece of evidence I want to give is a prophetic song that I've posted before. It was sung by Rob Rufus in Hong Kong during a special Miracle weekend that City Church was holding. When I first heard the song it made me weep - but more for the vision and passion for the city of Hong Kong. I'm home alone at my parent's in Bristol (they're out at some church function thing) - and I happened to listen to it again. And it was the "Father's heart" that stuck out to me. The words of the song are breath-taking! This is GOD ALMIGHTY - speaking as a Father.

Here is the video (it's not great quality - so the words are underneath);



"For I'm turning the hearts of the fathers to the sons,
I'm turning the hearts of the sons to the fathers.
I'm turning the hearts of My people towards Me,
I'm turning the hearts away from things of death.
And I'm turning the hearts to the ways of truth and life,
Yes I'm turning the hearts to My Presence alive!

In My Presence - with your hearts turn to Me, you will hear My voice - so clear and so true, today! Today! TODAY!
Turn your hearts to Me - turn away from misery!
Turn away from unbelief! Turn away from every offence!
Turn away from all bitterness and turn to Me your God!".

I would imagine there is nothing more hurtful and frustrating to a parent (not being one myself) than having a child with a victim-mentality who will not allow you to come near them but winces if you try to hug them or hold them or give them a kiss. Maybe this is something that adoptive parents may experience with a child from an abusive biological family.

Is there really much difference if God has stated; "I am NOT holding your sins against you for I have seen My justice is satisfied because My Son took the punishment for ALL your sins in YOUR place - I have only passion and love and happiness and adoration in My heart for you" - and our response? To sing mournful hymns about being "little worms" and staying deliberately out of His Presence until we feel we have paid penance for our "sins"?

Being in my parents house alone - I sat and listened for a bit at the lit bedroom door of heaven. I feel it's been far too long since I have wrapped myself in the warm embrace of my heavenly Father and I wondered what He is saying about me. I heard soft weeping - just like Ern Baxter's grandma - and I heard something like this;

"Why? Why won't he see that he is feeling rubbish and condemned about nothing? I have put his mistakes and sins as far from Me as the east is from the west. I have chosen to obliterate them from My mind beecause they were obliterated 2000 years ago when You held open Your arms and bled and died for him. Why can't he see that? Why is he letting the lies of the devil through church take him from Me and the love I want to shower upon him? He winces and fears I will hit him or look sorrowfully upon him but all I want to do is wrap him in my arms and love him as a true Father should! When will he realise? When?".

As Terry Virgo put it so well;

"The Cross amazes me and fills me with wonder and worship, praise and thanksgiving! To insist on still calling myself a sinner could not add value to the Cross for me. Indeed, to call myself essentially a sinner actually dishonours the wonder of the gospel".

I may have made many mistakes in my life - some mistakes the church would suggest would disqualify me from ever enjoying fellowship with God again. But I don't intend to let unbelief and unnecessary condemnation keep me from wrapping myself in my Father's arms any longer. Dishonouring the Gospel is one sin I would rather not have to explain when I get to heaven by persisting in calling myself; "the worst of sinners" when Jesus and Jesus alone took that upon Himself 2000 years ago!

By the Grace of God - I Am what I Am!

It's been a bit of a week of considering this age-old issue of "indwelling sin". For me it's one that tends to come and go depending on what I am reading. Yesterday I was considering John Piper and his decision to take a break to;

"... not making peace, but war, with my own sins".

I am so full of admiration for Piper's candour and honesty. My amazing friend Jon Cressey commented SO rightly; "I need 3 life times to have this much character". And I hope and pray that Piper returns from his leave refreshed and revived in his ministry and his marriage. But I hope that he is not disappointed if he returns and finds that his war on sin in his life maybe not over in the way he sees it.

I was amazed and thrilled to read Terry Virgo's latest "Firstline" in the latest Newfrontiers magazine where he deals with exactly this issue. The context to Terry writing the issue was strangely familiar;

"I was expounding Ephesians 2 and celebrating the fact that we are new creations, created in Christ Jesus. We are called ‘saints’, holy ones, and are certainly no longer regarded as ‘sinners’ ... After one of my previously mentioned sermons, a handsome young man approached me with, ‘Surely we are essentially still sinners aren’t we?’ He then began literally shedding tears and confessed to serious problems in the realm of sexual temptation".

Some may applaud the young man for his honesty and ask him to continue weeping over such sin. Terry did not.

"I opened Romans 6 with him for fifteen minutes, asking him Paul’s robust question, ‘Are we to continue in sin …?’ and showing him Paul’s even more forthright answer, ‘By no means!’ (King James, ‘God forbid!’). followed by his clear argument, ‘How shall we who died to sin still live in it?’. The young man seemed surprised, maybe expecting the answer, ‘Well of course we do still struggle with sin because essentially we are still sinners.’ Paul did not take that line!".

The result to Terry's wonderful personal teaching (I admit to feeling very jealous) was this;

"(Terry told him) As a new creation he has the power to rule his members. He was called to live free from slavery to sin because he was not a sinner but a saint. After our chat his countenance changed, his eyes looked brighter and I think a flicker of hope had replaced the inevitability he had felt that as a sinner he was still bound to sin".

Here is the MAIN point that perfectly (as Terry does so wonderfully and frequently for me) sums up the situation here;

"The Cross amazes me and fills me with wonder and worship, praise and thanksgiving! To insist on still calling myself a sinner could not add value to the Cross for me. Indeed, to call myself essentially a sinner actually dishonours the wonder of the gospel".

Surely that is the MAIN thing about the glorious Gospel! Terry goes on;

"If I insist on teaching that Christians are still essentially sinners, what is the Good News? Has anybody got some better news?".

I admit to a degree of frustration with my friends from Sovereign Grace Ministries. I dearly love a number of them and appreciate and value the emphasis on the Cross that they bring through some of their good teaching. However the emphasis and debates I have on indwelling sin (while loving the debates and discussion!) saddens me - that the door is wide open to condemnation and guilt and fear (emotions and feelings I am so familiar with) through being told; "You must do ... do ... do" rather than the Gospel emphasis; "It's done .... it's done .... it's done!".

A final word from Terry:

"Terry, are you saying that you never sin?’ Sadly in this age of conflict with the world, the flesh and the devil I do, but I sin as a saint with all the sadness and inappropriateness of it – not as a sinner with all the inevitability that that suggests".

Sam Storms at Desiring God Conference for Pastors!

If I had an unlimited budget then there is no doubt that one of my greatest pleasures would be to "conference-hop" over the earth and manage to hear the great names that I admire and respect. I was extremely excited to hear that Sam Storms was the keynote speaker at John Piper's conference for pastors at Desiring God this year. The conference has just ended and blog updates can be found at the Desiring God blog. Adrian Warnock has taken a slightly different approach but still reflects on the conference extremely well.

Sam's topic (unsurprisingly) was Christian hedonism. It is a doctrine I am familiar with but Adrian Warnock said quite rightly that it is something we need to be reminded of. In fact he said;

"The message of Christian hedonism is intoxicating!".

I like that. Sam Storms third message dealt extremely practically with the issue of combating sin and this is something I am increasingly becoming passionate about. I have made no secret of the fact that the SGM/Mahaney approach of speaking about "indwelling sin" and the processes of accountability trouble me. Frankly I don't think they work and actually give sin a platform that it does not deserve and take away from the power and finality of the Cross.

Sam Storms summarises the various approaches to dealing with sin well:

"I think Christians have typically employed three tactics in their efforts to help others fight sin:

1. Labor to portray sin in the ugliest possible terms, hoping and praying to frighten people into righteous living.
2. Revert to legalism by producing long lists to corral our impulses.
3. Argue that the problem is the presence of desire for pleasure in the human soul".

He summarises;

"The only way you can conquer one pleasure is with another greater and more pleasing pleasure. The only way to break the bondages in which our people find themselves is by cultivating a passion for joy and delight in beholding the beauty of Jesus".

And concluded;

"People are in bondage to sin today because they are bored stiff with God, and that's our fault. If your people don't hear you speak the same truths that Paul did and if they don't sense the enthusiasm in you that was in him, they will just go home and turn on whatever anesthetizes their pain".

I realise that to some who view grace seriously - this may not be enough. To others like those who still see indwelling sin - this may be too much. But I found this message encouraging and challenging. And above all if it makes us re-think the wonder of what Christ did at the Cross then it's going to be worth-while!

Don't Stop Believing!!

It won't come as a surprise to most that I'm not overly fond or keen on C J Mahaney or many of his approaches to church and Christian life. That being said I think there are some remarkable and fascinating features to the man's ministry that has been solely responsible for gathering an incredibly loyal fan-base around him. Mahaney had some valuable advice drawn from Ken Sande and the Peacemaker Ministries on a recent blog of his;

"Ken writes that churches can under-protect their leaders by “allowing gossip and rumors to spread unchecked, jumping to conclusions about a leader’s guilt, or failing to give him a meaningful opportunity to defend himself.” On the other hand, churches can wrongly over-protect their leaders. “They develop a self-confidence and blind loyalty that compels them to become defensive and automatically ‘circle the wagons’ when a leader is questioned or accused of wrongdoing.” Both approaches are wrong".

Timely advice and not a coincidence I am sure. Let me say that I have read accounts of what has gone on at Metro - but only those in the church really know what's going on. There are dear people at that church who I respect and love and so all I will say is that they are deeply in my prayers and thoughts. However I did read some sermon notes that really bother me. I was on the Metro church website and read senior pastor Danny Jones's sermon from last Sunday and he said this;

"The emphasis on sin makes grace all the more glorious!"

I must confess I haven't listened to the sermon - just read the notes - so maybe my friend Janelle or someone can shed some more light on this. But it seems to me to be a one-step progression from C J Mahaney's usual encouragements to "emphasise the Cross". An emphasis on SIN? How on earth can an emphasis on SIN make grace more glorious? I'm not sure at all. As a person with a masters degree in sin in my past, I can state unequivocably that thinking about my sin and emphasising my sin does nothing but make me depressed.

However Danny Jones closed his sermon on the other hand by quoted from Ephesians 1:3-10 and what a glorious statement from the Word of God!

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us".

Meditating on that verse does indeed make grace more glorious! So could an alternative to that statement be - rather than an emphasis on sin makes grace more glorious, can we say an emphasis on GRACE makes grace more glorious? Thoughts?

Finally I want to close this medley of SG-related thoughts by sharing a song that I was running to on the treadmill at my gym today. The song is from the new-ish musical called "Glee" (which I must confess I haven't really taken to - but like the soundtrack) and it's called; "Don't stop believing!". The X-Factor winner Joe sang it and I prefer his version;



I really felt the Holy Spirit speaking tenderly to me as He is doing to all Christians who have suffered through "religion". The one thing that the devil wants is to take away the faith of Christians - the ability to keep beliving in a good and loving and gracious God! So this year - 2010 - I want to promise as far as I can;

• Keep on believing in a good God despite SGM UK and the past!
• Keep on believing in a good God despite anything the devil may chuck - including horrendous disasters like the recent earthquake!
• Keep on believing in a good God's plans for His church despite what we see at present!
• Keep on believing in a good God's love for the world despite sin, suffering and all we see!
• Keep on believing in the glory and wonder of grace despite the condemning lies of legalism and the devil that try and tell us to remember and not forget our sin.
• Keep on believing the truth of God's Word that our sin died at the Cross and He "remembers it NO MORE!".

The more we can keep believing - the more I think we will become a people who shine like salt and light! And the world will take notice!

A Reference Request .... !

Hey up people! I'm sure I should be doing something festive because this is the weekend before Christmas. But without wanting to sound grinch-like - I'm not actually feeling very festive! Plus my take is that while of course we can celebrate the Incarnation and think of the Lord Jesus coming into the world to take on humanity, I don't like the retail drive that demands we virtually bankrupt ourselves to show "love" to our nearest and dearest.

Maybe the Christmas spirit will sneak up on me sometime this week .... but anyhow this post is a very short request to the C J Mahaney/SGM fans out there. I read this quote by himself this week and can't track down where/when he said it.

Could anyone help? Many thanks!

"Even on our best day - we are shot full of sin".

I found it on the "Spiritual Tyranny" blog - that takes a somewhat satirical look at authority in general.

A "Panic Button" on Sin?!?!

I'm down in Bristol this weekend visiting the family and as is usual for a Sunday morning they are out at church while I do the Sunday roast. I was thinking last night actually I should find a good church to attend nearby because I do miss the chance of being in awesome worship and preaching even on a weekend away. Anyway that's an aside. As usual I have had some excellent conversations with my mum and dad. I love them so much for being prepared to listen to their oldest son's latest theological rantings and ramblings!

We got onto talking about the mutilation of limbs as a possible sin deterrent! Dad and I talked through the implications of taking this verse as seriously as some church pastors seem to have us go and he himself said that it's interesting you don't see many church leaders hobbling around with no legs or no arms or eyeless! What then does this verse mean? We talked through the question is there still a responsibility on us (despite the glory of the Cross) to take some radical action to try and stop sinning.

For example Dad proposed that the prostitute who was dragged to Jesus and touched by His grace would have been so scared by the almost-stoning she received that she would have stopped being a prostitute because of that. I respectfully disagreed. I feel strongly that as a Jewess she would have known that she was under threat of the death penalty daily for her actions. If anything she would have felt that what happened that day could have given her a free pass to carry on sinning. "Anyone without sin throw the first stone, He said! Hands off me! You aren't without sin so I can do what I like!". But I don't believe that from that day on she ever was involved in prostitution again. Why? Because Jesus touched her with grace and said "Go and sin no more".

Was that statement an angry command; "I've saved your ass this time - don't do it again you slutty woman?". Not at all. I believe that in that statement there was an empowerment from on high conducting the awesome radically life-transforming glory of grace to her. Once you have seen the tender, loving, intimate eyes of Jesus Christ and heard Him say to you; "Sin no more". Then you won't want to sin! It will be the furthest thing from your mind! Surely that account in the New Testament is the embodiment of "Walk in the Spirit and you will NOT fulfill the lusts of the flesh".

But that question of my Dad's - "Shouldn't we still be doing something radical ourselves to stop sinning?" stuck with me. And it was brought home this morning because I logged on to check my mails and was informed that I was being watched by something called "Covenant Eyes". Intrigued I investigated further and found out exactly was watching my every move. There was something called a "Panic Button" that I pressed (I've never been able to resist investigating interesting things"). I was informed that unless I cancelled the operation within 10 seconds then all internet activity would be cut off and I would have to ring a US number to get reconnected! I thought it would be quite funny to let that happen but cancelled it anyway.

Clearly "Covenant Eyes" is a spy-ware programme that can be installed to monitor activity and hopefully end looking at inappropriate websites such as pornography. I can't quite figure out though who decides what is "inappropriate" and where the line is drawn. And what is more interesting is the disagreements and comments from mainly men - some who have found this programme helpful to curb their activities - and others who feel it is an intrusion. Here's one comment;

"Covenant Eyes has been so helpful to me. the only ones who do not want it up are those who are enslaved to porn and the devil. Repent from adultery and sex outside of marraige or you will end up in the lake of fire. Turn to jesus for salvation and he will enliven your spirit and cause you to hate the sin you once loved and love the righteousness you once hated. He can do it for you, and programs like covenant eyes can help in your battle against sin".

Sounds pretty similar to this guy who calls Ellen Degeneres a sexual pervert doesn't it?

Another guy I read was vigorously defending this programme and said this;

"I pay for my wife to receive a full report of anything that I see on the internet. Not only does it keep me from visiting trashy sites, it gives her the psychological benefit of knowing that I don't. That is not weird ... I choose to give my wife certain information".

Well - sorry but that does seem a trifle weird to me. This man pays a considerable amount per year to send a report to his wife who lives in the same house - why can't he simply tell her verbally? "I choose to give my wife certain information". Why doesn't he "choose" to simply show her the "history" page? And I know - "history" pages can be wiped. But if he can "choose" to send this report whether he likes it or not then why can't he make the choice to not wipe the history or make the choice to tell her what he has done? I think this man doesn't want to stop looking at pornography and the only way he can make this "choice" is to remove the choice of telling her or not.

So what do I think? Am I saying pornography is okay? No - of course I am not. I spent most of my university years bound up with it. What I am thinking through is whether "Covenant Eyes" is really the best way to go about dealing radically with this form of sinful activity. Having spent four years having a love-hate relationship with pornography - AND having tried every form of radical activity I could think of, I think that;

"Covenant Eyes" is only as good as your desire NOT to look at pornography and the support of the appointed "accountability partner".

If you have any internet experience at all then it won't be hard to skip round some of the filters set up or even disable it. A simple "Google" search showed that some people have already developed downloadable programmes that can wipe any such spy-ware programme off their computers without the "accountability partner" even knowing it.

Or even if pornography on the internet is taken away from the person through this "programme" - then there are still the age-old magazines that can be brought or the X-rated telephone calls that can be made. Or even the clothing catalogues that so many teenage boys resort to. There will always be the temptation of pornography with us. Do I applaud the desire to stop that? Yes. Do I think there's a much cheaper and more effective way to do it? YES!
"WALK IN THE SPIRIT AND YOU WILL NOT FULFILL THE LUSTS OF THE FLESH".

It doesn't say "you may not" or "you will find it easier not to". It says "YOU WILL NOT". Enoch is one of my favourite Bible characters mainly because he demonstrates "walking with God". And suddenly he walked with God and he "was not". Would anyone think he was tempted to lust or use pornography? I highly doubt it - there's not a hope if you are walking with God constantly. Let me say again - I applaud the battle against sinful practices. I really do. But there is a BETTER way!

Stop writing books on lust Joshua Harris. Start preaching on "how to walk in the Spirit". Start demonstrating a life of walking in God encounters and in the Spirit. It's far more than simply "tongues and prophecy" as sadly so many so-called "charismatic" churches have reduced it to. It's all about the Presence and the glory of God! When the Presence and glory of God falls upon you as a person - sin is the furthest thing from your mind. I know something about that too. Not enough sadly - which is why I still sin. But I've tasted it in Hong Kong and other times in my life!

Learn how to walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. Sorry. But that's Scripture - the Word of God. And it's that simple. And it's that easy! So let's get learning what it is to walk in the Spirit and how to do it - and all these books, CD's and computer programmes will be redundant!

Casting Stones With Sin

I logged onto Facebook this morning and happened to glance at some vaguely interesting news that apparantly Ellen Degeneres was a guest judge on American Idol. I love Simon Cowell but that news didn't really bother me. It was a comment below that did and went something like this;

"Ellen DeGeneres is a SEXUAL PERVERT".

The individual went on to comment on how her surname seemed appropriate because she is indeed "degenerate". To be fair the person did finish by saying; "Having said that there for the grace of God go I". Well I found that the only amusing thing in the comment. The person leaving the comment was male. So it truly would be unfortunate if he became a lesbian and must, I guess, be attributed to God's grace that he does not.

A few caveats. I don't know this person (and don't have much of a desire to). This person (I am guessing) is probably a Christian but I don't know that. I am guessing that this comment is aimed at DeGeneres' sexual orientation but I don't know that.

But as you may guess by now - this comment upset me. To put it mildly. Once again the Christians are putting sexual orientation on a pedestal and seeing it as "the" worst sin. If this individual leaving this comment is a man then I would hazard a guess at some point he has lusted after a woman who is not his wife (or a man maybe ....). Therefore if we are consistent with the teaching of Jesus, he has committed adultery in his heart and certainly should be considering dealing with his sin by plucking his eyes out.

So why he is really any better than DeGeneres'? Why are any of us better than DeGeneres'? Why does her sexuality in this person's view disqualify her from a secular TV show? I would hazard a guess that the other American Idol judges just may partake in sexual practices that probably also would qualify as "perverted" or "deviant" in his eyes - such as sex outside of marriage? Or is it really homosexuality that fits the criteria?

I love Jesus Christ so much.

When a prostitute was dragged to Jesus to be condemned (and I wonder if this person would be included in that crowd doing the dragging) His response was classic. He did not defend the woman's sin. He did not throw a stone and sign her death warrant (as the Law demanded). He started simply writing in the sand and when He did finally say something, it was this;

"He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

C H Spurgeon in a wonderful sermon on the Song of Solomon said this;

"The peril of self complacency increases in precisely the same ratio as the zeal of proselytising. When counselling others, you think yourself wise. When warning others, you feel yourself safe. When judging others, you suppose yourself above suspicion".

Ellen DeGeneres may indeed be "dead in her trespasses and sin" - but a comment like this really isn't going to make her wonder about her need for a gospel of grace. It's high time we all started listening to the words of Jesus Christ and dropping our stones where we found them and going home.

Are We Just STUPID?!

I swear this verse from the Bible is going to haunt me. Mark 9:43, 45, 47;

"If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off; it is better for you to enter life crippled, than, having your two hands, to go into hell, into the unquenchable fire ... If your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off; it is better for you to enter life lame, than, having your two feet, to be cast into hell ... If your eye causes you to stumble, throw it out; it is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye, than, having two eyes, to be cast into hell".

I was sitting on the bus going into work yesterday and was sitting behind what was obviously a very zealous Christian woman. From what I overheard she was a mother and was speaking on the phone to her son/daughter (I guessed son). The mother was extremely upset because it sounded like she had discovered pornography on the history section of the internet at their home. She was speaking very angrily and upset and used the above verse and said something like;

"I am NOT going to lose my child to hell! You must do this! The Bible says if your eye causes you to sin then PLUCK it out! You are SINNING by looking at this stuff and God is ANGRY! PLUCK it out!!".

Although I could appreciate the mother's sincere love for her (what sounds like) a quite normal teenage son, I felt like tapping her on the shoulder and saying;

"Excuse me madam. I couldn't help but overhearing you. How would you feel if you got home from work today and found your son slumped in the chair with two empty eyeball sockets with blood streaming from them? And the two gouged eyeballs lying on your dining room table? Do you think that action would STOP your son lusting with his mind? And how about you madam? Have you ever looked at another person's possessions and envied them? Have you ever got so angry with someone you love that you felt like you could hit them? Why have you not gouged out your eyes or cut off your hands? That rather makes you a hypocrite does it not?".

I didn't do that and I wouldn't have. But WHEN is the church going to start thinking LOGICALLY about this statement that Jesus said? When are we going to stop being so STUPID? Do we really believe that bodily mutilation is a sufficient enough sacrifice to save us from HELL? Is that how little we think of our sin? That our body parts are an acceptable sacrifice to God to buy us a pass into heaven? Do we really think that by losing our hands and eyes and feet then we will lose the "sinning" parts of our body?

What about our MINDS? Jesus Himself said if we look at a woman and lust after her then we have already committed adultery! Why did the Lord Jesus not instruct us to perform a lobotomy?

Don't get me wrong.

This verse IS showing how radically God thinks and hates sin.

This verse IS showing the radical nature of the Law.

But the only, only, only, ONLY acceptable answer to the demands of the Law in this verse could and were met 2,000 years ago at Calvary on a hill called Golgotha. It's done already! So the radical demands of the Law have already been met! God's wrath is satisfied! And He does not want, demand or require the mutilation of our body parts to try and "stop" sinning! Because even if we did perform those drastic actions then it still would not stop sinning! And even if we did perform those drastic actions then the Law is STILL not satisfied.

Do I sound angry? I am angry. I'm angry because in MY lifetime I have heard a church pastor who boasts about being a "man of the Word" use this verse against myself and my behaviour. And I have heard this woman on the bus use this verse to condemn her son. I have heard Terry Virgo use this verse in a sermon to wrongly (I believe) illustrate something he was saying. I am angry because I think about the (possibly) secretly afraid teenager on the other end of that phone. I am angry thinking about the many thousands who could be plunged into clinical depression and guilt because they know that they are not brave enough to mutilate their bodies in this way.

I'm angry that I am 31 and I have only JUST heard true grace teaching from Hong Kong that has made it so abundantly clear that Jesus is talking about the extreme demands of the Law here - but thereby demonstrating that the demands and requirements of the Law have been met and have been met in ONLY one way! Because only ONE way could meet them!

To those who have read this and still persist in believing that this verse applies to Christians today - then I say only this. Stop being such a hypocrite. Stop talking the talk. Get a scalpel out and start walking the walk. If you really believe Jesus Christ is setting a precident for your behaviour today then send me pictures of your hewn body parts and send an accompanying testimony telling me if you are now sin-free.

To those - like me - who have secretly trembled when you have heard this verse preached or used in a condemning manner, then have hope! Jesus was talking to the worse form of legalists around and He was showing them that even this extreme behaviour was NOT sufficient enough to stop sin completely in their lives. But He did provide the answer. When He said "It is finished!" - He meant it. Put your scalpel away! Jesus loves you with all His heart! He loves you so much that He was mutilated so that you would not have to be. He had His side pierced and His hands and feet pierced so you would not even have to contemplate this.

Hallelujah! What a Saviour! (P.S: If the picture offends you then I don't apologise. If you believe that Christians should be complying with this verse literally then you are going to have to get used to sights like this).

The Cause of Legalism and Control

I've been reading Ryan Rufus's awesome new book; "Sanctification by Grace". Here's a quote;

"I believe that the cause of so much of the legalism and control in the church today comes from a failure in "seeing our salvation". If you haven't seen your salvation then you haven't seen that your spirit has been made perfect and complete in Christ and that nothing else needs to take place.

Unfortunately many haven't seen that so they're busy trying to complete their salvation. They're trying to complete their righteousness, complete their holiness, complete their death to self, complete their worthiness to receive blessings from the Father, complete their right to come boldly before God.

Many Christians are confused about this. They think we still have a sinful nature and are under the law! So they are trying to control something they don't have, by using something they are no longer under. In other words they are trying to control (or die to) a sinful nature they don't have by using God's law that they are no longer under! That is called sanctification by law and it is totally weak and useless".

Let me repeat that. They are trying to control (or die to) a sinful nature that they don't have by using God's law that they are no longer under. Afraid that grace will lead to licence? Oh give over. You're sinning already one way or another. What have you got to lose?

Ern Baxter on Romans and Righteousness!!

I've been thinking quite a bit about this blog and it's direction particularly as the majority of my time is taken up with Rob Rufus's ministry and transcribing his sermons over here. My initial attraction to Rob Rufus's ministry in July 2007 in Brighton was how he reminded me of Ern Baxter. I was thrilled therefore to find that Ern was one of Rob's heroes! And while I've tried to publish and transcribe a lot of Ern's ministry there is still so much more to share and be heard and not be forgotten.

So I have got out a box of Ern's video sessions at the Anglia Bible Week in 1985 (I was merely 8 years old!). He brought a series on the first few chapters of Romans upto chapter 8. A lot of the material is extremely theological and deep but I want to publish video clips that mark and highlight and back up this outstanding message and walk of grace many of us are on.

The first is a clip where Ern is talking about righteousness and it's inevitable triumph. But he begins by speaking about how wrong it is and what a blasphemy to the Cross it is to remain pseudo-humbly thinking of ourselves as "worms" and focusing on our sin. Now I understand the word "righteousness" as "right standing with God", it is possible to hear this clip in a new wonderful light!

Ryan Rufus on Hebrews 'Warning' Passages

I've just completed transcribing Ryan Rufus's sermon on the 8th February 2009 in Hong Kong called; "Hebrews 6 - Can You Lose Your Salvation?". He very boldly and fearlessly took on one of the famous "problem" passages that have confused theologians for centuries. He preached so clearly and so eloquently without confusing the matter and the result was truth and freedom! I felt another dark stronghold of fear that has been lurking at the back of my mind get demolished!

Ryan picked on something amazing that really intrigued me. He was working through many of the verse in Hebrews building up to a context on Hebrews 6. He quoted Hebrews 6:18 and said this - it is quite a lengthy commentary but WELL worth reading. After the quote is done - I've got a conclusion - something very interesting that happened to me today;

"What are those two things he is talking about? These two things are the New Covenant code that we need to crack and until we crack it our minds will still be dark. Until we crack this code we still see things through a legalistic mindset. Once you crack that code you will be able to interpret any Scriptures that are difficult and see them through New Covenant lenses.

1. The first one is the once for all sacrifice that completely deals with all of our sins and makes us perfect.

(Hebrews 10:12); "But this Man Jesus after He had offered one sacrifice for sins" - that's for all sins - "forever, sat down at the right hand of God until His enemies be made His footstool". (v14); "For by one offering He had perfected forever them that are sanctified". By one sacrifice He has made us perfect ... for how long? As long as we hold onto the hope? Forever! If God has made you perfect then nothing and noone can make you unperfect! (v15);

" ... wherefore the Holy Ghost is a witness".

He is a witness in a court of law! The Holy Spirit is our counsellor and our defence and when the devil comes and accuses us of this sin or that sin then He stands up and says; "Father remember You swore an oath to never, ever relate to them through their sins and their performance but through Christ's performance on their behalf".

2. The second is that Jesus Christ is in the order of Melchizadek.

The book of Hebrews reveals Jesus as the superior Mediator of a better covenant. (Hebrews 7); "God swore an oath that Jesus is a high priest forever under the order of Melchizadek". That means "forever" He has an indestructable life. And He mediates for us EVERY sin! We have an eternal Mediator - one who goes to the Father in our defence! We never even have to fear again! What a hope we have!

God will open your eyes and you will see something and will no longer be fearful about this message. If you tell people that by one sacrifice then God got rid of your sins and there is no more punishment then what's to stop them going out and sinning? That will produce Christians who want to commit crazy sins surely! That's taking restraints off them Ryan! What about the warning Scriptures?!

There is not ONE warning Scripture about losing your salvation to New Covenant believers.It is rubbish to couple the grace of God with the warning passages!

Why are people so scared of this message of grace? I will tell you why - because they haven't seen their salvation. They haven't seen the supernatural miracle that took place in the Spirit of a person when they got born again. So many Christians still believe that the heart of a Christian is evil beyond cure and quote Jeremiah 17:9. Our hearts were evil beyond cure and God didn't cure it! He replaced it! He removed our hearts of stone and gave us hearts of flesh!

They think that Christians have got this evil in them and a sinful nature and that sinful nature will drive them into sin! Colossians 2:11 says He circumcised us of the sinful nature through Christ - that means He REMOVED it! That means He took it out! It is gone! Circumcision doesn't come back or reattach! It's dead! Romans 6:6; "For we know that our old self was crucified with Christ so that the body of sin might be done away with". I hear people saying; "That's the body that wanted to sin". No it's not! The body of sin is the entity that was living inside of us! Indwelling sin - the personality of sin - the driving force of sin that Adamic nature and the fallen nature produces that wants to sin.

That was an evil nature but then God circumcised us of that nature and cut it out of us! Sin was not the effect. It was the cause. God removed the cause - the sinful nature. Temptation is external and God has regenerated your spirit and made your spirit perfect. 2 Corinthians 5:17; "A New Creation". Our body is still a part of the old creation order that was subject to frustration so it will still decay. Your mind will still be embedded in the corrupt wisdom of this world. But our spirit is a NEW creation! It has been alive with Christ!".

I want to close by saying something rather profound that Scott said to me. I just got back from visiting my parents and was in a bit of a "John Piper" frame of mind as I had been listening to him to and fro from Bristol. And I was just idly listening to some speaker interviews from the "Conference" section of the "Desiring God website". Scott was playing the Wii in the background and unknown to me was listening in. Don Carson and John Piper were asked a particular question and Don Carson frankly "fudged" it and gave a typical "evangelical" answer that "God is God and really we don't know".

I then finished typing up Ryan's sermon and we discussed the fact that it's interesting that the top evangelicals in the world today seem to hesitate and stop short of some issues that just seem to hard. Rob and Ryan Rufus (among other preachers of course) don't do that. Rob has stated again and again that there is no verse in the Bible that they won't approach. This sermon proves this. And proves again that there is NO verse in the Bible that works against the gospel of grace! What is ironic is that critics of Rob and others usually pride themselves on being "Word" people!

I can say again honestly that I have learned more about the Bible since I encountered Rob Rufus and City Church than ever before.

Grace demands Radical Change ... !!

This post is not going to be a comfortable one for anyone. It's not going to be comfortable for legalists because I am going to make some statements that will draw them to conclusions - conclusions I have already been receiving from some quarters. It's not going to be comfortable for "nice" Christians who may have formed particular opinions of me and don't want those "nice" opinions shattered. It's not going to be comfortable for those who may be in denial about areas of my life they don't want to know about. And it's going to be a definite step out of my comfort zone because any air of "respectability" that I proudly hung onto will be gone! So with that caveat-warning out the way, I can take no responsibility for what is to follow. Read on at your peril!

Please note that I haven't written this post in solidarity. I am aware that it may cause offence to some (I hope it doesn't because I don't mean it to - I am just telling the truth). So I have emailed it to Pete Day and to Julie and Lydia and have taken their observations and edits on board.

The statement I am about to make is based on my own experience and observation and I am more than willing to be corrected on it. I believe there are certain taboo subjects in the church that bring an element of discomfort and awkwardness. One such subject is that of people suffering with HIV and AIDS. I rejoiced therefore to read in the latest Newfrontiers magazine;

"As Christians we should not ask, ‘How did you become infected with HIV?’ but rather our question should be, ‘How can we help and support you to live with the virus?’".

Attitudes seem to be slowly changing! Thank God for Newfrontiers! But the issue I want to discuss is that of homosexuality. To put in context why I am writing this post, it is necessary that I share a degree of personal testimony. Before I do that however I need to make some definitions. As a New Covenant Christian I don't believe that God sees His creation as "gay" or "straight". But the world has become so familiar with such titles that I must of necessity use them. In this post I will be talking about;

1. Homosexual (Men or Women) - People attracted to members of the same sex exclusively.

2. Heterosexual (Men or Women) - People attracted to members of the opposite sex exclusively.
3. Bisexual (Men or Women) - People attracted to members of the same and opposite sex.

A. The Past

So I grew up (as many who read this blog are aware) in a strict religious background in a Bible-believing church where it was explicitly taught that homosexual practice is wrong. Stanley Jebb - my senior pastor - made much use of the passage in Leviticus and Romans 1 to show that homosexuality was a perversion and I believed it. It was slightly upsetting and disconcerting therefore to find that as I progressed into my teenage years I was developing feelings of attraction towards people of the same sex. This wasn't helped by attending a Christian school ran by the church - while I was at that school I was abused by an adult and went through the usual feelings of guilt that I didn't do anything to stop this pattern that went on until the individual left the church. In a weird sort of way I "enjoyed" the attention of the abuse. I was to spend the next 10 years trying to "cure" myself. If there was a pill on offer that would have made me heterosexual then I would have taken it. If there was surgery - I would have gone through it ... without anaesthesia.

When I say I tried to "cure" myself - this is just some of what I attempted. I legalistically read my Bible for an hour every morning (without fail) - especially the passages in the Bible that dealt with the horrors of homosexuality (such as Leviticus 20:13 and Leviticus 18:22). I attempted castration (seriously). I went to a Christian group that believed that chastity was the only answer for homosexual Christian men (and ended up getting abducted by one of the men and driven deep into the countryside and left there when I wouldn't sleep with him!). And I attempted giving up. Oh and I attempted exorcism (thanks to Derek Prince).

By the way for anyone who wishes to "label" me - I guess according to the world I am bisexual. But thank God according to the New Covenant - I am a son of God, co-heir with Jesus Christ, I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ, I am accepted, I am loved and God is crazy about me!!

B. Pete Day

Because of my background in church I used to struggle with the opinion that I am an "abomination" and am worthy of the death penalty until I met Pete Day. Many know how close we are but not many know how absolutely key this man was in saving my life. Pete and I met through a mutual friend and when that friend moved away, our friendship deepened thanks to common loves and passions like Dr Ern Baxter, the doctrine of Word and Spirit and a general longing for more of God. One January morning about 7 years ago Pete and I went to the famous Metropolitan Tabernacle Christian book sale and we sat in a McDonalds and I felt I trusted this man of God enough to make a full testimony of my past and my background and my struggles with attraction towards people of the same sex.

Pete responded in grace and acceptance and love - and that has never altered to this day. I have shared my failings (of which there are some) and I have shared my struggles and heartaches and remain accountable to him to this day. Pete and I spend a lot of time in prayer and in waiting on God when we meet and it was during one particularly powerful time that I suddenly felt the power of God fall upon me and I heard the audible voice of God say; "My grace is sufficient for you for My strength is made perfect in your weakness" and I felt God ask me to surrender my struggles to become "straight" into His hands. It was during that time while I was lying on the floor in Pete's office in the Spirit that I felt a commission to reach out to the homosexual community in the United Kingdom. I already had and have a number of gay friends - both men and women - and I felt the passion of God for them - the longing of God that they would receive His love.

C. Sovereign Grace Ministries

Some time ago my friend Janelle asked for a bit more information into my views on church discipline and I promised to give it. So here's a bit more context. I joined Grace Church Bristol some years ago and as had become habit to me I kept quiet about my past and my struggles. It was more awkward because Grace Church was a small church and I was the only single male in the church. Eyebrows were raised and the cliche; "Oh I am waiting for the right woman to come along" didn't always cut it. I managed there in membership somehow for 2 years however. It was incredibly difficult and a lonely time because as with most churches, the social life of the church was shaped around couples. And so because I was an "odd number" I didn't get invited out much. I went to see the senior pastor with the other single female in the church and we shared our unhappiness but nothing really came of that although he promised much.

Unfortuately I was to discover that years of "keeping a mask" on was having an effect. I was working as a childrens nurse and was accepted and appreciated for who I was there. My collegues and friends couldn't understand why I was so cut-up about who they thought I should be. The church however was a different matter and I began to struggle with depression and with self-harm. As I began to deteriorate I became increasingly desperate and my parents suggested I go and share my struggles with the church leaders (although my parents were not aware that the depression and self-harm was linked to my struggles with my sexuality).

Rather stupidly I did. There were only three meetings. The first meeting was gracious. The second was not and the third was my disfellowshipping from the church. Here is what happened. I made the leaders aware of my past and my present. I shared with them that I did have homosexual friends but that I was celibate and had been for some years. During the second meeting I was informed that my struggles with depression and self-harm were because they felt I was "lying" and was in fact NOT celibate and more particularly was having a sinful relationship with a dear friend of mine who is like a brother to me. While they admitted they had no evidence - it seems that the "feeling" of a Sovereign Grace leader is enough.

I was asked to do the following. 1. I had to move back in with my parents and make a full statement to them about my past. 2. I had to cut off contact with ALL non-Christian friends especially those who were homosexual. 3. I had to vow to attend every church service and care group without fail. If I fulfilled these ultimatums then they would help me with my depression and other struggles. If I did not ...

So I was given two weeks to consider this and went straight to London and consulted with Pete and we spent time praying and thinking through what to do. I came to the conclusion that I couldn't reconcile how biblically any pastor could make such demands of a church member. Particularly when it came into such conflict with my God-given commission that had come to me to reach the lost and hurting homosexual community. I couldn't imagine how I was to tell my friends that I was no longer able to have any contact them because the church had told them so - and how they would find this glorifying to the God I had been trying to interest them in.

So I went back after the two weeks and met with the pastors and informed them of my decision. I felt that to obey such ultimatums was to go against my conscience. They became angry and informed me that if I refused to obey then I would be "disfellowshipped". They would inform the church that I was banned from church services and care groups. They would also write to every other church in Bristol and would inform them that I was not to be accepted because I was in "unrepentant sin". Despite these threats I actually felt I had made the right decision rather than the wrong one and stuck to my decision and left the meeting. I know that many are afraid to leave their SGM church because of years of history, friendships, a social circle they would miss, awesome worship, or excellent preaching - I didn't have any of those restraints.

As I stated in an earlier blog I have been guilty of holding bitterness against these church leaders and I am truly sorry for that. I don't understand why they did what they did and I can't condone it from Scripture. To be told I was "being put out to Satan" was shocking and upsetting to me - I thought that Scripture only condoned this extreme and last resort decision in the case of gross immoral behaviour and blatent unrepentance. I had not been caught in any sin, or confessed to any such sin. It seemed to me this was all happening because of "a feeling" of the church leader. Thanks to the gracious work of the Holy Spirit over time I can now appreciate the sincerity of the church leaders in doing what I am sure they felt was right. I can appreciate their bravery in being prepared to make a hard decision and being prepared to be extremely unpopular. I still don't agree with it or them. But can appreciate it and know the blessed relief of "It is well with my soul".

D. The Present

This post (both Pete and I felt) had to be written because of a recent unpleasant incident which has acted as a catalyst to get this post written. We both felt that the Holy Spirit was desiring to use this to the best and maybe break down some walls of bigotry and ignorance within His Church. Furthermore I was amazed at how quickly "FEAR" began to attempt to control me again because of what happened in this incident. I was genuinely terrified that I was going to be "exposed" in public. So this post is a way of defeating that fear. I have told the truth here and therefore the fear has got nothing to grab hold of because there is nothing left to be revealed!

The incident was this - I am a reluctant member of Facebook and mainly use it as a method of storing my own photos. For my birthday in December I treated both myself and my friend to a luxurious stay in a hotel in Birmingham called "Malmaison". We enjoyed "deep tissue massages" - an experience in and of itself! - and generally had an amazing time! It was just what I needed after my trouble at work and re-occurance of depression. I put those photos on Facebook. I should add that I slept in the double bed and my friend slept on the sofa in the adjoining lounge.

I had a couple of messages on Facebook from an individual I know expressing concern at the photos. That person had examined the photos in detail and had come to some wrong conclusions about what happened (or might have happened) that weekend. (Ironically I spent the weekend with the same friend that I had been "commanded" to cut out of my life by the SGM leaders - so talk about deja vu!) Like the SGM leadership I can truly appreciate the sincerity of this individual and the bravery in wishing to address it knowing they would be unpopular. But like the SGM leadership the tone was accusatory at best and and the result was condemnation. And as Terry Virgo said; "Condemnation is a work of darkness - it doesn't work".

This person has accepted that their concerns are unfounded and apologised (unlike the SGM leaders who to my knowledge have never backed down and admitted they were wrong) - but there is a principle that concerns me. And it is this;

Just because I may have admitted that I struggle with "bisexual" feelings does NOT mean that every man I spend time with, I am living in sin with. Just as every heterosexual man who spends time with a woman is not necessarily living in sin with. I live in a flat with two other people and both are dear friends to me. But the thought of anything "more" .... ?!?! To use Sheila's now famous phrase; "Ack!!". I regularly go away with girl friends that I work with and are good friends with but the thought of anything "more"??!!? Ack!!

Both Pete and I agreed that everyone is liable to fall - but Galatians is clear - if we walk in the Spirit, we WILL NOT fulfill the lusts of the flesh! Todd Bentley's tragic fall proves that even a man deep in the anointing can be succeptible to fall.

But that FEAR of being tempted surely cannot stop us from taking the Gospel of grace to those who need it!

This friend who I love spending time with came to the Newfrontiers Leadership Conference in Brighton and experienced the prayer meeting as his FIRST experience of Christianity! He heard God speaking to him with words of love and acceptance and welcome and he still remembers that experience even though it was 4 years ago! Something happened and I fervently believe that "He who began a good work WILL complete it!".

E. The CHALLENGE

By and large homosexual people know that the Church don't approve of what they do and they think that the Church doesn't like them. And pretty much I am sad to say they are right. Scott and I happened to be at CCK in Brighton during the Gay Mardis Gras celebration and I was interested to see if it got a mention. It did - but not in a positive "let's go out and show them what REAL life and REAL celebration is like". So imagine my thrill, tears and joy when I was at the Glory and Grace Conference in Hong Kong and I heard Isi de Gersigny say this;

"I encourage people to sit on the front row with me because I am sick and tired of this front-row, second-row, third-row rubbish! I want PROSTITUTES sitting next to me! I want to reach the gays of Sydney! I want the kings and queens of Sydney's streets to be near me! I want to see chains break off! I want to see glory in people's eyes! I want them to see what I am seeing! Because He is more glorious than what people have made Him out to be! His eyes are like consuming fire that wraps around you and you will never be the same!".

There ARE true grace churches out there and it is my prayer that this positive, open love for homosexual people - both men and women - will spread like a brushfire. Because the challenge is this - unless the Church changes it's attitude then the homosexual community simply won't come. And even more definately won't listen to the church's message that what they do and who they love is wrong. I was impressed to consider Jesus Christ's attitude and behaviour when He dealt with the "untouchables" of His day.

The parable in Matthew 22 is interesting to consider - how would it compare to today? In Matthew 22:4 the king sent His servants to His guests saying that the banquet was ready. But they ignored Him and spurned His generosity and grace. Then (v9) is relevant here;

"Go therefore to the main highways, and as many as you find there, invite to the wedding feast".

I know that exegetically that applies to Israel rejecting the Messiah and the Gospel then being given to the Gentiles but it shows to me the Father heart of God. That the Gentiles were the unacceptable to the Jews and the Pharisees. They were called "dogs"! Does the Christian community really think of the homosexual community as much better? One of my main problems with Mark Driscoll was the offensive comments he has made about homosexuals. How is that demonstrating the love of God to the ends of the earth?

So in conclusion - our attitudes must change. I don't know if God will ever "make me straight". But what I do suspect that if I had grown up "straight" then I have no doubt I would have the same proud bigoted attitudes towards the homosexual community as those that I have experienced and that have hurt me so much. I am so grateful to God that He has chosen to allow me to be in this position - because maybe in a small way I can reach the lost and the hurting one by one and show the homosexual people that God loves them JUST AS MUCH as He does the respectable sinner who lusts in private or who lies and cheats. Sin is sin. And the respectable sins drove Jesus Christ to the Cross just as much as the homosexual. The homosexual person is just as in danger of falling as the proud man.

Let the fires of the grace of God sweep across the world from pole to pole and from sea to sea. Jesus Christ spread out His arms and said; "It is finished! Father forgive THEM!". And that is an inclusive statement to all that come to Him and receive His imputed righteousness!