I think I always used to get rather depressed at Jesus' words; "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed ...". My conclusion? My faith is smaller than a mustard seed! But Rob Rufus's wonderful Kingdom teaching has opened my eyes to the glorious realisation that faith is something imparted to us from on high! I'm in the middle of helping transcribe one of Rob's more recent sermons; "The Struggle For The Authentic Part 3 - "Qualification for the Blessing - Faith or Works?" - and Rob brought this powerful definition of faith;
"Faith is a supernatural ability to connect with a living God with confidence. Faith is the substancein your heart of the things that you are hoping for and it is the evidence of what you cannot see. Faith has evidence - faith is not a blind leap into the dark. Faith is a leap into the light based on supernatural substance and evidence inside your spirit given to you by the Spirit of faith - the Holy Spirit.
When faith rises up in your spirit you have the substance to manifest your hope and what you are hoping for starts happening and the goodness of God starts happening around you - but you need faith for that ... Today we will pray that the spirit of faith will rise in everyone of our hearts to believe the good news of the message of grace and that what the enemy intended for evil over the last 2 weeks is going to be turned around so powerfully for our good - that we will come into a more delighting place of confidence in the grace of God than ever before".
I love that last particular phrase. That's faith! I've hinted at the last month or two of hell that I feel I've been going through - ending up with me currently being on anti-depressants. I always grew up with a deep suspicion of anti-depressants. Such was the deposit of legalism in my church history that my gut feeling was if I resorted to anti-depressants then I didn't have much faith in God. John Piper was quite helpful in getting me to agree to my G.P's request. But all that aside - the question that I'm sure anyone and everyone who goes through times of trial must ask is "Why?". As I mentioned before - God doesn't seem to want to talk to us about our circumstances but our destiny.
That aside, I've been searching my heart as to why on earth I have spent the last year of my life working somewhere that has ended so sourly. Why has the chance to spend time with those vulnerable and needy children come to an end and it's become nigh-on impossible for my health to be in such a place of negativity? I don't have any answers ... yet! But I love what Rob Rufus said;
"That what the enemy intended for evil over the last 2 weeks is going to be turned around so powerfully for our good - that we will come into a more delighting place of confidence in the grace of God than ever before".
That's destiny. That's something that I can feel my faith stirring towards and for! I know I am not the only one who is struggling in life so I hope this is a post of encouragement. We know that all things work together for those who love God. That's not just one of those rosy verses that look nice on your mother's fridge. That's reality!