The Glory of TRUTH!!

You know what Someone once said;

"You shall know the Truth and the Truth shall set you FREE".

I love the lyrics of this beautiful Hillsongs chorus;

"At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?"

I've quoted it before - but I love the way that different lines can stand out at different times. Here's the whole song;

Worthy is the Lamb!

I'm writing quite a hard post about suicide and the Christian at the moment - someone I know who loved Jesus Christ but wrestled with depression all their lives took their own life in the last few weeks. I've admitted a couple of times before that I've had suicidal thoughts at times at the depths of feeling depressed. And I'm staggered there is so little encouragement, guidance, or sermons dealing with this - yet many Christian greats dealt with depression including William Cowper (the hymn-writer who actually committed suicide himself) and C H Spurgeon.

But I've been amazed again at the power of Gospel-centered worship for lifting the soul. I felt so incredibly and utterly low yesterday after a hard weekend - and made a deliberate and concerted effort to soak in Spirit-filled worship (particularly Hillsongs and Newfrontiers) and have felt such a breaking of the clouds of darkness! I cannot urge anyone like me who struggles with feeling depressed and maybe even suicidal thoughts - to soak and find and hear and sing to worship songs that are focused and obsessed with the glorious gospel.

Here's my favourite at the moment - "Worthy is the Lamb" from Hillsongs;



"Now ALL I know is Your forgiveness and embrace!".

That is the Biblical fact of our current experience! Why is it that the main course of most Christian depression comes from doubt and fear that God is less than thrilled with them? Or worse is angry with them? The sad fact is that many church leaders actually proudly preach the wrath and anger of God at people who are covered by the blood of the only Son of God? It's a sobering thought that some churches have blood on their hands because they have allowed the lie to continue - rather than preaching the unadulterated gospel of grace.

"The Darling of Heaven crucified!".

I wonder if Jesus hung upon the Cross and saw each and every son and daughter that His blood would redeem flash before His eyes? I wonder if His already broken heart broke just a little bit more at the premature deaths of those redeemed beloved ones who just couldn't quite "get" His love and adoration for them? What a price! Surely that most precious price of all DEMANDS that we fight depression, suicide and any emotion that robs the true wonder of Calvary?

"Thou art worthy!".

Something occured to me yesterday. Most Christians believe and utter the Westminster Confession that the "chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever". Or of course as John Piper puts it; "Glorify God BY enjoying Him forever". I wonder what happens if Christians do not enjoy God and therefore are not glorifying Him? I wonder what happens if Christians cannot remember the last time they enjoyed God? Does that suggest that actually the reason for living - the chief end of man - has gone and really why continue living?

This is why worship is so key to me and so essential in the battle to win against depression and suicidal thoughts and feelings. Worship lifts our spirits and focuses our attention off ourselves and our struggles and onto God and His love and passion and beauty and Being. Let's never, ever allow ourselves to stop worshipping!

Yours is the Kingdom!!

It says it all ...

Faith!! I Can Move a Mountain!!

The line of this blog comes from a wonderful Hillsongs songs that I have loved for years. The concept of faith is something I am only recently getting my head round. Here's the song by the way!



I think I always used to get rather depressed at Jesus' words; "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed ...". My conclusion? My faith is smaller than a mustard seed! But Rob Rufus's wonderful Kingdom teaching has opened my eyes to the glorious realisation that faith is something imparted to us from on high! I'm in the middle of helping transcribe one of Rob's more recent sermons; "The Struggle For The Authentic Part 3 - "Qualification for the Blessing - Faith or Works?" - and Rob brought this powerful definition of faith;

"Faith is a supernatural ability to connect with a living God with confidence. Faith is the substancein your heart of the things that you are hoping for and it is the evidence of what you cannot see. Faith has evidence - faith is not a blind leap into the dark. Faith is a leap into the light based on supernatural substance and evidence inside your spirit given to you by the Spirit of faith - the Holy Spirit.

When faith rises up in your spirit you have the substance to manifest your hope and what you are hoping for starts happening and the goodness of God starts happening around you - but you need faith for that ... Today we will pray that the spirit of faith will rise in everyone of our hearts to believe the good news of the message of grace and that what the enemy intended for evil over the last 2 weeks is going to be turned around so powerfully for our good - that we will come into a more delighting place of confidence in the grace of God than ever before".

I love that last particular phrase. That's faith! I've hinted at the last month or two of hell that I feel I've been going through - ending up with me currently being on anti-depressants. I always grew up with a deep suspicion of anti-depressants. Such was the deposit of legalism in my church history that my gut feeling was if I resorted to anti-depressants then I didn't have much faith in God. John Piper was quite helpful in getting me to agree to my G.P's request. But all that aside - the question that I'm sure anyone and everyone who goes through times of trial must ask is "Why?". As I mentioned before - God doesn't seem to want to talk to us about our circumstances but our destiny.

That aside, I've been searching my heart as to why on earth I have spent the last year of my life working somewhere that has ended so sourly. Why has the chance to spend time with those vulnerable and needy children come to an end and it's become nigh-on impossible for my health to be in such a place of negativity? I don't have any answers ... yet! But I love what Rob Rufus said;

"That what the enemy intended for evil over the last 2 weeks is going to be turned around so powerfully for our good - that we will come into a more delighting place of confidence in the grace of God than ever before".

That's destiny. That's something that I can feel my faith stirring towards and for! I know I am not the only one who is struggling in life so I hope this is a post of encouragement. We know that all things work together for those who love God. That's not just one of those rosy verses that look nice on your mother's fridge. That's reality!

I'm FREE!!

Sometimes it's the simplest of songs that come as an awesome encouragement when times are dark. Things have all gone weird again at work which is rather upsetting. I'm trying to navigate walking the path of faith and needing help, advice and support from my G.P and other sources. It was quite a comfort reading something of C H Spurgeon's wrestling with depression (from The Christian's Heaviness and Rejoicing NPSP Vol 4, Year 1858, pg. 459, 1 Peter 1:6);

"I was lying upon my couch during this last week, and my spirits were sunken so low that I could weep by the hour like a child, and yet I knew not what I wept for — but a very slight thing will move me to tears just now — and a kind friend was telling me of some poor old soul living near, who was suffering very great pain, and yet she was full of joy and rejoicing. I was so distressed by the hearing of that story, and felt so ashamed of myself, that I did not know what to do; wondering why I should be in such a state as this; while this poor woman, who had a terrible cancer, and was in the most frightful agony, could nevertheless "rejoice with joy unspeakable, and full of glory."

That's exactly how I feel! Working in a hospice with kids who are so needy and yet feeling at times like I could just weep and not know why. Having the blessings of a roof over my head and food to eat (virtually) daily (when I have an appetite) and yet there are millions starving and homeless. Anyhow - this wasn't meant to be a post musing on depression and how to beat it. I wanted to highlight a song that I've heard before done by the amazing Hillsongs guys - but it was freshly renewed to me.

Here's the video;



And here's the lyrics ... I just LOVE them!

"would you believe me if I said....
that we are the ones who can make the change
in the world today....

would you believe me if I said...
that all of the dreams in your heart
can come true....today

would you believe me if I said...
that life could be all that you want it to be...
today..

Chorus:
and if I had wings I would fly'cause all that I need, you are...
and if the world caved in around me...
to you I'd still hold on'cause You're all that I believe...
and the one that created me...
JESUS...

because of you...I'M FREE

Verse 2:
would you believe me if I said...
that God can make miracles happen today....
would you believe me if I said..
that you don't need to wait for the answers before...
you step out in faith...would you believe me if I said...
that nothing is ever impossible...for God...

Bridge:
just live your life...with God inside..
you won't regret one moment of it...
and give all that you can for God, for God".

It's the Power that Will Bring the Young!

Another Hillsongs-inspired post. I was walking back from my last night shift at the hospice for a much needed week and a half off (but working probably at the Childrens Hospital!) and was thinking ... I do that a lot! I was incredibly moved during the night by having to wash and dress a teenager with Muscular Dystrophy (a disorder I'm coming rapidly to hate) and was so upset by his fraility and the awareness he had that he needed complete care. If he felt anything like I did when I was a teenager, he would probably be mortified at having to be washed and dressed by two adults. I did my best to laugh and joke with him but still ... my heart went out to him.

Then I happened to be listening to the awesome song "Believe" from the older Hillsongs album; "For This Cause" and I remembered that during the video - as you will see - they get hundreds of young people up and the sight of them worshipping God with all their hearts just moves me so much. Young people are getting a bad rap in the UK at the moment - what with the almost monthly news of some new stabbing. I wonder if the cry of their hearts (even if they don't realise it) is something like this;

"I'm sick of playing the game of religion - I'm tired of losing my reason for living - Where's the power? - The power of the cross in my life?".

Here's the video. Watch the teenagers carefully.



Don't we owe them the power of the Cross at the very least? Doesn't that teenager that I had to carefully wash and dress this morning for fear of breaking one of his fragile bones DESERVE the right to experience and see the power of God unveiled through His people - His Bride - the Church in signs and wonders and miracles that accompany the words from our mouths? Doesn't he (and thousands of millions of others crippled by disease) deserve the touch of power and love and compassion from us who have been changed by the awesome revelation of the New Covenant?

Still believing ... still reaching ...

All the Heavens Shout Your Praise!!

I had a wonderful drive back from Bristol after a night shift just now! All night I was thinking about grace and in particular a concerning statement made by a preacher from Covenant Fellowship Church (see comments here). So as I began driving home I was asking God for a "word" on the issue and maybe things to write and think through on this blog. But I heard God audibly just say; "No words son, just enjoy". So I looked out the window of the car as I drove up the M5 and saw this:

And I just began to worship! The pure wonder and joy of seeing creation shout aloud the wonders of our God! I enjoyed a blend of my two favourite worship leaders - Kate Simmonds and Darlene Zschech. What wonderful inspiring prophetic women of God! The lyrics of every song began to stir me again and again;

"So when I see the empty tomb, I realise I am raised with You, forever no seated in heaven!!".

"All the heavens shout Your praise, beautiful in Zion the universe will sing - hallelujah to our King!".

We have been called to contemplate the Cross and to never get away from it but a text from my friend Pete came back to my mind. He wrote;

"The Cross is the legal basis for everything in the New Covenant. It deals with all that stopped us entering in. But it is not the essence of the New Covenant. The essence is life in the Spirit. "I baptise with water, but He will baptised with the Spirit".

Today I am focusing on the empty tomb because it tells me that Jesus Christ is alive and His sacrifice has been accepted gloriously and He is now seated in heaven. Because He is there we may walk in confident authority as ambassadors of the highest government in the universe! With that authority we may become ministers of the Spirit and we may indeed see signs and wonders accompanying our words of the Gospel! That fact - that doctrine - leads me to yet more worship! This wonderful prophetic song from Hillsongs just summed up EVERYTHING I felt surging through me about our wonderful God.

"No words son, just ENJOY!!". Allow the truth - the wonderful, freeing truth of this rush through you like electricity this Sunday as you go to worship Him. He is seated and reigning and we bear His righteousness as a free gift! He demands ONLY what He has given!! And He has given so freely and with such lavish grace!! May you receive an awesome baptism of His Spirit and fire this morning that fills your sails of faith and enables you to leap forward into the week with such power that non-Christians say "What is different about you?!".



PS: Note the chorus particularly; "Holy, holy God Almighty and forever the Lord is exalted! Hear the angels shout His anthem! Ever living God we adore You!".

"Mighty to Save!" - A New Song We Learnt at Brighton

I always have tremendous trouble trying to remember the awesome lyrics of new songs that we were taught at the Brighton "Together on a Mission Conference" hence (like Luke) I wait with anticipation for the live worship CD that is released sometime this month. In the meantime I was thrilled when I was at my parents home recently to hear one of the songs we learnt being sung on a Hillsongs album. It's called "Mighty to Save!" and it was just ... amazing!

I found the live clip of it on You-Tube. Here it is! I love watching the Hillsongs worshippers. What a people of passion!

Hillsongs - Consuming Fire

I found this awesome link courtesy of the wonderful Hillsongs. I first sang this incredible prayer at Church of Christ the King when Tom Eaton was speaking just before "Together on A Mission 2006". I'll never forget it.