Unchanging Truth in a Time of Change

I think one of the reasons why the SGM drama/crisis affected me among so many others is that it has shaken our faith mainly in church leadership but also has caused us to evaluate what we really believe.  My church history background has been based in based in reformed/charismatic evangelicalism that emphasized most of our problems were sin-related.  We were also taught to respect and honour our leaders.  In both situations - my faith in our leadership was shaken.

In Dunstable, Stanley - our senior pastor - made a major shift in his theology on the Holy Spirit and such a change unfortunately coincided with my baptism in the Holy Spirit.  However God worked this together for good - and I had to dig deep into the Word of God and such teachers as Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones and Terry Virgo who led me to see the glorious truth.

In SGM, my history and subsequent observation of C J Mahaney and Dave Harvey's behaviour as revealed by Brent Detwiler shook my faith again.  But I am believing that God is working this together for good and is leading me step by step away from this sin-focused obsession and step by step into His glorious grace.

I was running on the treadmill at the gym today and by chance (I run my iPhone on shuffle) a wonderful old chorus of Dave Fellingham's came on (squashed in between Steps and Lady Gaga);

"At Your feet we fall, mighty risen Lord, 
As we come before Your throne to worship You. 
By Your Spirit's power You now draw our hearts, 
And we hear Your voice in triumph ringing clear.


I am He that liveth, that liveth and was dead, 
Behold I am alive forever more. 


There we see You stand, mighty risen Lord, 
Clothed in garments pure and holy, shining bright. 
Eyes of flashing fire, feet like burnished bronze, 
And the sound of many waters is Your voice. 


Like the shining sun in its noonday strength, 
We now see the glory of Your wondrous face. 
Once that face was marred, but now You're glorified, 
And Your words like a two-edged sword have mighty power".

An amazing song!  But it was a tremendous reminder of the unchanging nature of the living God.  I've been spending time tonight re-visiting the past promises, dreams and visions that God has been so favourable to grant me (nothing compared to a man like Rob Rufus - but still - I am BLESSED!).  For example, I was amazed to have completely forgotten these few dreams;

"Terry Virgo and Angels Snipers!!" - a dream I had back in 2009.

"Dreams, dreams, dreams!!" - documenting some of the key dreams I have had in my life - one back in 2001 about a call to "ministry", one involving a tidal wave of glory speeding towards Brighton in 2006 (that I shared with Terry Virgo) and another about walking in a field of corn with my dear friend Pete Day.

A reminder - a glorious one at that - of the power of children prophesying - "your daughters shall prophesy!".

"The tide is turning" - a prophetic promise from Terry Virgo back at the glorious Brighton conference in 2007 - is still true I think.  But tides ... who can predict when they reach fullness?  I found this quote from Jim Goll;

"When God seems silent, there are several things you can do. 1. Stick with what you already know.What was the last thing the Lord said to you or told you to do? Have you done it? Why should He tell you something new until you have completed what He has already revealed?".

Time for a NEW Beginning ... !

These past few weeks have been difficult ones for me personally.  I've become aware of some traits in my life that need dealing with.  I've neglected this blog quite a bit and have been throwing myself 100% into my work - which I adore.  I love working for an employer like Birmingham Children's Hospital and are so grateful for heroes like my CEO and Chief Nurse who have given me opportunities I am so fortunate to have!

But I have contemplated that I have almost allowed my identity to become my work.  It has got to the point where my body has actually physically given up and I have had to have some time off work (which I HATE!).  But I am hoping this time off will be a good thing and will help me to make necessary adjustments and be an even better employee and all-round person.

But what I have noticed with this blog is that virtually since July last year it has almost become entirely devoted to SGM and their problems with C J Mahaney.  This has been a negative issue and one that still seems unresolved.  My interest in it is tied up of course with my very unfortunate experience with them and the fact my family still go.  But it isn't a subject that is going to awake my passion!  I think of heroes like Terry Virgo and Rob Rufus and Ern Baxter who point us to keeping our faith on fire for the Church!

So tonight I brought two Kindle edition books which I am very excited to dip into - "Invading the Impossible" (which I helped the Hong Kong church transcribe) a few years ago and Rob and Ryan's NEWEST book; "Living Grace: How Grace Affects your Whole Life".  It is my hope that this enforced time off work will help me to remember Kingdom truths that used to set me on fire!

Disappointment in not seeing a coming to reality of the things I have (and still) believe in may have quenched the fire of hope.  But I still believe it can be re-inflamed by reading glorious things like these two books!  Here's the book being launched at City Church International;



Here's my favourite quote from Rob's chapter on the "Grace-Hating Spirit";

"People are hesitant to preach a radical Gospel of Grace but have you ever thought how radical the law is?  Those who preach a mixture of law and grace are actually just compromisers.  If you are going to preach the law, do it properly!  The full extent of the law requires you cut off your hand if it is causing you to sin!  When religious zealots fly planes into towers in the name of their gods, they are being absolutely faithful to the law!  Under the law, we should kill anyone who doesn't keep it.  In fact if you read the law properly you will see that if your kids don't keep the law, then you must stone your own children.


The reason why people say grace is radical is because they have never heard the law being taught properly".

Why Do We Keep Remembering what God Forgets?

This post was recently written by a US pastor called Wade Burleson in response to SGM's emphasis on "indwelling sin". He quotes an example I have heard John Piper and Sam Storms use in relation to this issue - that of Jason and the Argonauts. It's a great post. Many of us ex-SGMers are now resorting to contacting counselors (something C J Mahaney adamantly was against) because many of us are near nervous breakdowns trying to work through this teaching and it's impact.

Why Do We Keep Remembering What God Forgets?

“As we mature personally, as our families mature, and as our churches mature, we need the doctrine of sin more, not less; and we need to keep growing in rightly understanding and applying this doctrine. Be assured that this is no less true if you’re a pastor or teacher or ministry worker. There’s no pastoral privilege in relation to sin. There’s no ministry exemption from the opposition of the flesh. There’s only a heightened responsibility to oppose sin and to weaken the flesh, as an example to the flock.” -C.J. Mahaney, Humility (Sisters, OR: Multnomah, 2005), page 133.

The movement C.J. Mahaney founded, Sovereign Grace Ministries, is one that is supposedly built on an understanding and application of God's grace. I recently listened to several messages by Mahaney and read a couple of his books, including the one quoted from above. I find myself rather surprised. SGM seems to focus God's people on the subject of 'sin' much more than they do Christ. Rather than an emphasis on growing in grace within the body of Christ, there is a stated goal by SGM's founder of 'growing in the doctrine of sin.' That, to me, is quite shocking.

In Hebrews 10:17-18 the Lord says, “This is the covenant I will make with them (us)… I will remember their sins no more.”

For the life of me I can't understand why pastors would put emphasis on remembering what God forgets.

There’s no denial Christians struggle with ‘indwelling sin.’ There's also no denial that sin is destructive. The question, though, is "How does a believer defeat indwelling sin?" I am absolutely, positively, one-hundred-percent convinced that every Christian leader who places more emphasis in his ministry to Christians on indwelling sin than he does Jesus Christ, will ultimately lead his people down the path of religious bondage, emotional pain and spiritual abuse. Sin's power and influence are only diminished by displaying the beauty of Jesus Christ. Focus on sin and it entices you; focus on Christ and He enraptures you. An easy way to remember this axiom of the faith is: "There's no high like the Most High!" When God's people regular taste of Him "and see that He is good," every false high that sin brings will be recognized as a sorry substitute for the real thing. The ancient people said as much when they asked of Philip, "Sir, we would see Jesus" (John 12:21).

Focusing on sin may 'sound' spiritual, but it is in essence anti-Christ. Binding God's people to
various religious rituals (church attendance, quiet time, devotionals, 30-minute morning prayers, promises, commitments, accountability, etc...) in order to overcome indwelling sin is completely missing Christ.

Focus on Christ, not your performance or lack thereof. Focus on Christ, not your accountability or lack thereof. Focus on Christ, not your church attendance or lack thereof. When Christ is your focus, you will find growing satisfaction and delight in Him! When that happens, indwelling sin loses its power because it loses its enticement.

Religious bondage may lead you to THINK the power of sin is gone in your life, but in reality, you haven't changed a lick by the bondage. All that's happened to you is you've been tied down by religion's rituals. If somebody were to cut the ropes that tie you to the institution of the church, you'd be sin's dead meat. But as you taste of the sweetness of Christ, sin begins to lose its power.

I've already quoted Hebrews 10:17-18 as the biblical basis for the good practice of NOT remembering (or focusing) on what God forgets, but let me see if I can illustrate this principle from ancient Greek mythology.

Odysseus and his mighty sailors sailed the Aegean Sea. The sorceress Circe had warned Odysseus and his men to be wary of the beautiful but deadly Sirens. These half-woman, half-beast creatures would entice sailors with their beautiful music, compelling the men to sail closer to the island of the Sirens. Without warning, the Sirens would swoop down, kill and canabilize the sailors who had sailed too close to the island of the Sirens. The sorceress told Odysseus that he and his sailors should have their ears filled with wax to block the Sirens' songs from being heard. Odysseus complied with the instructions by ordering his men to fill their ears with wax. He, however, wanted to hear the Sirens' beautiful songs for himself. So he told his sailors to tie him up to the mast with strong ropes so that when the Sirens began to sing, he could focus on the singing, but he could not jump ship and swim toward the enticing but deadly island. The sailors complied and bound their captain to the ship's mast. When the ship sailed near the island of the Sirens, music began to fill the air, and Odysseus focused on the beautiful songs and found himself enraptured. He began to fight the ropes and chains that bound him, longing to draw closer to the Sirens. He struggled with all his might to free himself from the bondage. He wanted to free himself, but he was trapped and held by the ropes and men on his ship. His battle with bondage was bloody and ugly. Odysseus avoided death at the hands of the Sirens, but he was a miserable wretch as his shipmates sought to hold Odysseus "accountable" and keep him safe.

On the other hand, Jason and the Argonauts dealt with the Sirens in a different manner. They too sailed the Aegean, but unlike Odysseus, they refused the ear wax, the strong ropes, and all attempts to "bind" anyone to the mast of the ship. Instead, they brought the greatest musician in the land onto their ship, a Muse named Orpheus, and they ordered him to play his beautiful music. The music from Orpheus' lyre and harp was so much sweeter, so far better, so incredibly more beautiful than the songs of the Sirens that Jason and the Argonauts had no desire to listen to the Sirens' songs when their ship passed by the island of the Sirens. What kept Jason and the Argonauts on the ship was the greater pleasure and beauty of Orpheus' music.

Odysseus and Jason serve as parabolic illustrations for the modern church. The great mistake of many Christian leaders, including many associated with SGM, is that they are attempting the Odysseus approach to indwelling sin in their people. They wish to expose sin (confess it), focus on sin (analyze it), control sin ('by binding people'), as they put more and more emphasis on sin as "God's people 'mature.'"

The only thing that this particular emphasis brings is tired, worn out people who collapse under the weight of 'authoritative leaders' and their edicts on how to be 'more holy.'

Pastors need to be more like Jason and the Argonauts. We need to bring Jesus into the church like Jason brought Orpheus onto the boat. Talk of Christ. Preach of Christ. Tell of Christ. Magnify Christ. Exalt Christ. Honor Christ. Uplift Christ. Sing of Christ. Speak of Christ. Point to Christ. Focus on Christ. The sweet music of Christ as written in the sacred hymn of Scripture is sufficient. The Holy Spirit does a pretty convincing job of guiding His people by the island of sin when the sweet song of the Savior is being played.

Care of our Loving God

One of the problems (self inflicted I know!) that I'm going through at the moment is that due to the hectic nature of my work at the hospital, I foolishly let my prescription for anti-depressants expire. As I'm on an increased dose, there are inevitable side effects to coming off them suddenly for a week and a half. One is exhaustion and fatigue and the other is the return of worry, anxiety etc. Fortunately I went back to my GP and am safely back on them so hoping this period of worry will settle.

I was lying awake last night with insomnia (I think that's the word) trying to control my anxious thoughts and a beautiful chorus came to my mind which I tried to keep singing and focus on. I love Darlene Zschech for this!

How do you keep hope when all seems lost?

No really ... I'm asking.

Keep on Believing!?

I had a strange experience last night. I had an excellent first day at work at my new job on the Intensive Care Unit and came back quite encouraged but ended up getting into an interesting discussion with my best friend about God - the manifest Presence of God - why some Christians such as Rob Rufus seem to enjoy experiences of His glory while others (like me) don't - and so on. We didn't really have any answers. We were just discussing.

And suddenly and unexpectedly I found myself breaking down into tears.

The agony of silence and the feeling that the heavens are brass just got too much. By the mercy of God I was able to chat to my dear friend Pete online and he was able to encourage me that this is the cry of hunger. I've never wept I don't think before that God isn't answering prayers or speaking but I'm encouraged if that means maybe there is light on the horizon!

This song is so unbelievably trite but sometimes it is the simple that keeps you holding on - when you can't stomach the theological heavyweight hymns! Although I love them too.

Crikey - I couldn't even watch that video while posting without crying again. Maybe there's something to this faith thing after all! Either that or I'm pregnant ... scary.

Belief!

I was tremendously impacted yesterday while watching the wonderful rendition of C S Lewis's "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader". The great character Reepicheep (the mouse) during the film is talking about his belief in Aslan's country and says;

"We have nothing if not belief".

I'm sure that's biblical! I think one of the reasons why the modern day church is so pathetic at times is because I'm not sure exactly what we believe in. I was taken aback by a few comments I had via email and Facebook about my re-posting Ern Baxter's comments on a glorious future. Does it seems restorationism well and truly is out of fashion?

That isn't a problem if (as Terry Virgo says) we can be persuaded that a glorious future for the end-time church is not actually biblical and we should see the 2nd coming of Christ as a salvific act for His church. Unfortunately I have yet to see that - so will persist in believing! One of the reasons why I love remembering and delving through the past is because like a "mound of stones" - history reminds us God acted in the past and can and will do again.

This picture was from the New Wine Magazine - December 1977 (the month and year of my birth!) and fronted Ern Baxter's report from his visit to the United Kingdom and particularly the Dales Bible Week. Just looking at it reminded me that we can always have hope! We do not look to men or women necessarily apart from servants of God. We look to God Himself to intervene, surprise us and change history!

Fini de Gersigny - a New Take on Depression!

I first met Fini de Gersigny when I went to the "Glory and Grace Conference 2007" - the first conference held by Rob and Glenda Rufus in Hong Kong! I have to be honest - I wasn't hugely impressed with him at first as a speaker. He was a fantastic, outstanding worship leader - without fail, he led us into the manifest Presence of God in a way I have only seen Kate Simmonds come close to. But as a speaker (I'm ashamed to say) I judged him - he didn't expound anything in the manner I was used to, and laughed a lot, spoke in tongues a fair bit and told lots of stories.

However the second time he spoke at the conference, the Holy Spirit very graciously began to unpeel my pathetic pride and arrogance and see what was really going on in my heart. It wasn't an issue about Fini's preaching. It was that I was jealous of his joy and wonder in the Presence of God. It was that I longed to have a similar experience and relationship with God that he had. Fini himself said at "Glory and Grace 2011" this year;

"There is nothing more annoying that someone who is more joyful than you are".

It's so true! That year I have to say I was more taken with his wife Isi - as both a worship leader and a prophetess. Indeed I had a powerful encounter when she laid her hands on me in the "fire tunnel" that so radically changed my life.

But progressively as I have listened to and followed the "Glory and Grace conferences" that I haven't been able to afford to get to - I've increasingly come to appreciate deeply Fini de Gersigny's wonderful ministry as a man of God and his insights into Scripture and to the mind of God. Yes - maybe he isn't an expositor in the fashion of Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones or Stanley Jebb or Terry Virgo. But he is different - and wonderfully so!

I have been listening to both Isi and Fini's messages from this year's "Glory and Grace conference" on the advice of Rob Rufus. I'm still struggling to lay off the legalistic ties of my past and really begin to enjoy and understand the unconditional love of God. My normal practice is to listen to preachers like Rob himself or Terry or others - but in one of Rob's messages, he made a comment about Isi and her ministry that I hadn't heard and so over the last few days I've been listening to Fini and Isi on the way to and from work. And how glad I am that I did!

Fini was just closing his message and beginning to minister to people - and he made a comment about the depressed people there. My ears pricked up - because as many know I've struggled with depression over the past few years due to very bad experiences at Acorns Children's Hospice (bullying) and of course Sovereign Grace Ministries and the excommunication. I have always traditionally believed that depression is a "sin" and that it is our sin that is to blame for it and we are somehow failures for not experiencing the joy of the Lord.

Fini however said;

"Depression - you didn't bring this on yourself! This isn't your fault! It isn't due to your sin - your failing. It wasn't something you did! This is the work of the enemy!".

That comment alone brought me such amazing and outstanding joy. And such freedom! If the devil can keep us believing that depression is OUR fault then we are effectively trapped in a vicious circle that is virtually impossible to break out of. But if we can see that actually it is a work of the enemy to blind us from the passionate goodness of God then we can begin to deal with the depressive feelings and recognise them as alien and not of our doing. Suddenly I can see a clear path ahead - that it is not anti-depressants that are the cure but encounters with the living God!

I have never heard any teacher or pastor bring this insight on depression before. Sadly many Christian leaders seem to uncomfortably avoid depression because they do not understand it. I dread to think what many leaders counsel depressed people in their church with when presented with them. Oh that we could hear more leaders grab this insight and agree and begin telling their people that depression is NOT your fault, you are NOT to blame and it is NOT your sin that is the cause of this! How can sin be the cause when it was crucified at the Cross and is now powerless?

Jesus Christ Himself said of His ministry;

"THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS UPON ME, BECAUSE HE ANOINTED ME TO PREACH THE GOSPEL TO THE POOR. HE HAS SENT ME TO PROCLAIM RELEASE TO THE CAPTIVES, AND RECOVERY OF SIGHT TO THE BLIND, TO SET FREE THOSE WHO ARE OPPRESSED".

Freedom for those who are oppressed and release to the captives! Surely this includes those who suffer with depression!

Happy New Year - 2011!!

A massive Happy New Year to everyone reading this!

It seems like a lot of people I have the honour of emailing and keeping in touch with found 2010 to be an incredibly difficult year. So I do love the fresh start of a New Year - the blank slate. Untread territory - no well worn paths ahead.

Blogging so last decade?

I read somewhere that someone has started blogging and referred to themselves as being "out of date". Frankly I didn't realise that blogs are now out of date! If I ran this blog purely to be trendy then I guess this New Year would be the right time to close it down - but I've always tried to make it clear that this blog isn't about building a following or seeking to become a "voice" but this is for my own spiritual tracking and gain - and secondarily to chart, map and log great heroes of the Christian faith who's voices must not and cannot be forgotten.

So I am freshly excited about another New Year and I am so hopeful (still) that the unfulfilled promises of God will see some coming to pass this year. They are long overdue and above all I am eager to see God move and do something. Let's keep hoping! I am still so challenged by Rob Rufus and his warning about the danger of cynicism. It's very timely that my good friend and fellow blogger Julie Morris posted this reminder on her Facebook;

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" - Jesus

Unblocking Old Wells

As you will see from the last couple of wells I have been working through remembering and re-discovering my personal relationship with God that I have allowed the stresses and business of life to erode. Yesterday was a glorious rediscovery of just how easy it is! And a glorious reminder of the wonderful free grace of God - that you do not have to pay penance to a sulky God because you have been away for so long but actually as soon as you turn to Him and seek Him and Him alone you find His arms are open wide.

I wanted to build on that today. It was a frustrating day because I was geared up to work tonight but the night shift got cancelled in the end. So I took to reading through some of my dusty old sermon notebooks. I am so, so grateful that we were taught to take notes as children in church! There is so much amazing truth there. For example I found notes from a sermon preached by my senior pastor Dr Stanley Jebb in Dunstable on 3rd May 1998 on "The Church in Thyatira". Here are the notes:

The promise of God that really caught my eye was from verse (v26). "He who overcomes, I will give unto him power over the nations". Stanley Jebb comments on the verse;

"It seems that there are those who are faithful who will be given responsibility and authority".

It seems to me that God is promising something amazing here! If we are faithful - if we hold on and keep believing and do not allow the cynicism of life to erode our faith in Him then we will be given power over the nations - to further advance the Kingdom of God of course. I think Stanley was typically too cautious in his interpretation of that verse. Jebb allows for "responsibility and authority" whereas the verse mentions; "the nations". Whatever the case this is an exciting promise! And one we must not forget! Another reason to hold on!

I hope to share more promises or discoveries from my notebooks as I find them! It is good - even in a "day of small things" when nothing much seems to be happening there is a right and appropriate time to go back to the pile of stones in the Jordan and remember the great works and the promises of God!

The Dilemma of Prevailing Prayer

To most Christians the issue of "prayer" can range from extremes - one extreme is an awesome blessing made possible by the Cross of Christ and the glory of the Gospel. The other extreme is possibly one that not many Christians will admit to and that is a massive source of legalistic guilt and shame because many feel they are not measuring up to "standards" (mainly extra-biblical standards set by other Christians).

I've had a few thoughts brewing for a while now and wanted to express them. I have prayed in varying degrees and measures as long as I can remember as a Christian. My earliest recollection of prayer was when I was about 12 (around 1990) and I was on a paper round praying for revival in Dunstable - my home town. I have my pastor Dr Stanley Jebb to thank for that - a passion for revival was inbred in us from an early age. As yet - that prayer hasn't been answered.

I've prayed for the conversion of one of my best friends - Scott. That's been answered gloriously at the "Together on a Mission Conference" in Brighton in 2005! He was definitely and wonderfully touched by God and then again in 2006 under Rob Rufus's amazing ministry during one of his seminars. So there's one of the most wonderful prayers answered - a soul saved!

But conversely again - I endured the most hideous experience of my life working at Acorns Children's Hospice in Birmingham where I felt bullied by the management and staff. It was quite upsetting to hear on a local radio station an advert for Acorns stating, "Acorns is a wonderful place to be". NOT my personal experience! Working there pushed me possibly the closest to suicide I have ever been. I was persuaded to take a grievance out against Acorns which was then promptly dismissed - half accepting that the management "could" have reacted to my concerns faster. My point being - I prayed constantly throughout the 13 months I was there for God to intervene and to turn the situation around. He didn't.

Then take the experience with Sovereign Grace Ministries here in the UK! Again an awful experience for a time and one that very nearly led to me cutting my family off and departing to begin a new life without them. I struggled so much with the fact that my family appeared to stand with the church leaders against me. The night before the meeting I had recently with the Sovereign Grace pastors Pete Day and I prayed together and we admitted before God we didn't have the faith to pray for a glorious miracle - a reconciliation. We went with no faith whatsoever. And yet God intervened - and wonderfully reconciled us all! And I am now welcome back in Bristol at my parent's church!

So my dilemma;

1. Revival - God hasn't answered - yet.

2. Scott's conversion - God answered!

3. My experience at Acorn's Children's Hospice - God didn't answer (or said "No").

4. My experience with SGM Bristol - I didn't pray and yet God answered wonderfully!

It doesn't seem logical does it? Calvinists (even though I am one-ish) tend to retire behind the "sovereignty of God" and put it all down to Him. If God answered - He wanted to. If He didn't - He didn't. Frankly that seems like a cop-out to me and actually seems contrary to the Word of God. Let's consider these verses on prayer;

1. Obviously prayer is instructed in the New Testament: Colossians 4:2; 1 Thessalonians 5:17

2. But it cannot be denied that prayer is the God-given means to obtain what God has to freely give: Matthew 7:7-11; Matthew 9:24-29; Luke 11:13.

3. The Bible allows for the fact that prayer is often motivated by need: James 5:13. And one of my favourite verses on prayer: Matthew 7:11: "Jesus says, "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him."

4. Above all and the Puritans would argue - most importantly - prayer is communion with God. This (I think) is the key to understanding prayer. Jesus spent hours in prayer - and how ridiculous to even imagine this was anything but pure joy to Him. He spent hours in prayer because He loved His Father above all. I must admit I found myself imagining what those hours in prayer between the Son of God and the Father were like. Was it even CLOSE to my prayer times - me talking and silence from heaven (it seems)? It can't be so! I imagine a loving conversation between Father and Son. One speaking - one listening - and vice versa.

There is no one I more enjoying turning to for advice than C H Spurgeon on prayer. I think Spurgeon describes the experience of many Christians so well;

"We spend the time allotted, but we rise from our knees unrefreshed, like a man who has lain upon his bed but has not slept so as to really recover his strength. When the time comes round again conscience drives us to our knees, but there is not sweet fellowship with God. There is no telling out of our wants to him in the firm conviction that he will supply them. After having gone again through a certain round of customary utterances, we rise from our knees perhaps more troubled in conscience and more distressed in mind than we were before. There are many Christians, I think, who have to complain of this".

Spurgeon suggests positively;

A. There should be a specific object of desire for prayer.

"My brethren, we often ramble in our prayers after this, that, and the other, and we get nothing because in each we do not really desire anything. We chatter about many subjects, but the soul does not concentrate itself upon any one object ... Did we ask an audience at Her Majesty's court, we should be expected to reply to the question, "What do you wish to see her for?" We should not be expected to go into the presence of Royalty, and then to think of some petition after we came there. Even so with the child of God. He should be able to answer the great question, "What is thy petition and what is thy request, and it shall be done unto thee?".

Rambling - oh how often have I heard rambling at prayer meetings! Some Christians seem to be blessed with the gift of praying long, laborious and often pointless prayers.

B. There must be perspective in our prayers.

Spurgeon urges us to "Look above";

"Once more look up and rejoice. Though you have sinned against him he loves you still. Ye have not prayed unto him nor sought his face, but behold he cries to you still—"Seek ye my face;" and he saith not "Seek ye me in vain." Ye may not have gone to the fountain, but it flows as freely as before. Ye have not drawn near to God, but he waiteth to be gracious still, and is ready to hear all your petitions".

I think that we have to admit a glorious mystery in prayer. I suspect (and I could be wrong) that God delighted to answer the un-spoken prayer of Pete and mine with the SGM situation because it brought glory to Him. I don't know why He didn't answer the Acorns situation or the revival cry from so many thousands. Maybe He yet will. All this speaks to remind me that He is God and cannot be tied down. But the key thing - communion. He invites us to pray to get to know Him because when we speak to Him - He speaks back. Conversation is two-way!

I share this - simply to say that I walk on in the challenge of prayer seeking to know Him better!

This is Not a Phase which is Passing!

I was out for a run today and was enjoying the newly converted Dales Bible Week worship to my iPod. One of my favourite "70's" songs is "I hear the sound of rustling". Here it is - the quality is poor and apologies for that. It comes from a 70's audio tape. But I love it;

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The particular line that grabbed me was this;

"And this is not a phase which is passing - it's the sound of an age that is to come".

I love the passion with which the gathered thousands sung it and I found myself wondering where they are today and how they are today. I have no doubt whatsoever that the majority of them gathered at the Dales sung that song with all their hearts and believed it. But was the 70's a "phase that has passed?". Or have we been left with an incredible legacy? I felt there are two challenges;

1. To my parent's generation (those who were there at the Dales Bible Week).

Have you lost your "first love?". Have you lost the fire that so excited and motivated you during those incredible years in the 1970's? Yes - the Yorkshire showground is now empty - where thousands once sung their praises to God. Yes - the Stoneleigh showground is now empty - where even more worshipped and danced before the Lord. But the truths that were preached and the revelations that were shared during those days? Has heaven said they are no longer true? Parents - you need to remember and not forget what you experienced during those days.

Or this WILL become a "phase" - a happy memory that you think back to with nostalgia rather than a truth that will touch a world.

2. To our generation (those who grew up as "charismatic" babies).

Have we taken up the baton? Our parents passed on so much to us - many of the key teachers of that day are still faithfully teaching the Word of God - men such as Terry Virgo. True some such as Bryn Jones and Ern Baxter have been taken to glory already and are now cheering us on as heavenly witnesses. But have we watched and learned from much of the pioneering that took place during those days? What are we doing to take the spiritual inheritance to a waiting world? We can't just sit here and expect to continue to receive "daily manna" from our parents generation. It's time to get up and go out and get it ourselves!

It's time to see the nations burn with the fire of God - nothing short of that will see the "nations flow to Zion!".

"God Remembered Noah" - Stanley Jebb

I am so grateful for this "what are these stones?" theme I am thinking through at present. I was spending today hunting through my library of church magazines and journals reading and remembering. I found a magazine from my home church in Dunstable - dated October 1985. Dr Stanley Jebb wrote the pastoral letter and it spoke SO directly to my current situation and relation to God. Proof that the word of God doesn't age or grow old and can STILL speak today!

Here it is;

God Remembered Noah (Genesis 8:1) by Dr Stanley Jebb.

"Do you ever feel that God has forgotten you? Does it sometimes seem that the grey, cloudy heavens cannot possibly hide a loving Father? Has He not spoken for some time? Has your deliverance not yet come?

Consider Noah's position in Genesis 6 to 8.

1. Staying Put in the Ark.

Everything around the ark was bleak and horrible. Nothing much seemed to be happening. The only sounds to be heard were those made by the animals, cacophonous at times, the creaking of the boat, the sound of wind, rain and waves, and what conversation the family managed to snatch between chores. God seemed to be silent.

Noah was very much restricted in his movements and in his activities. He couldn't go very far not could he do very much, not much, that is, beyond the daily chores of caring for the animals and doing any repairs necessary. Noah and his family were in the ark for one year and ten days. (Genesis 7:11, 13, 8:13-16).

What else was Noah doing? He was trusting God. He trusted God in the waste of waters, in the confined space, in the limited activity, in the darkness, in the divine silence. While he kept busy with family life, the animals and the ark, he kept looking up to God.

He had expectancy of deliverance (Genesis 8:6-12).

2. When God "Remembered" Noah.

When the Bible says that "God remembered" it does not mean that God had forgotten.

H C Leupold in his commentary on Genesis says, "It would never occur to one familiar with Hebrew to draw the conclusion from this statement that for a time God had forgotten Noah". In Isaiah 49:15 we read; "Can a woman forget her nursing child, and have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget but I will not forget you".

"Remembering" - when used of God means that He now acts, so that to man it appears that He has just remembered.

We use the word in a similar fashion when we say that someone was "remembered" in a will. The word translated "remembered" is often used implying a remembering with kindness, granting requests, protecting, delivering (e.g Genesis 9:15; 30:22, Ex Ex 2:24; 1 Sam 1:11).

"God remembers" that is, acts at the appropriate time with exactly what we need. All the time that Noah was trusting, God was working according to a plan.

3. The Time of Action.

When, in God's providential timing, it was right to emerge from the ark, the action began with a word from God.

(8:15, 16). God said; "Go out".

So often we act upon serious and momentous matters without a word from God. When we are moving in an important or significant or unusual way it is wise to seek a word from the Lord.

The word contained a command to be fruitful and multiply. God expected Noah and his descendants to subdue the earth and fill it. While God remembered Noah it is also true that Noah remembered God. He built an altar and worshipped the Lord. How easy, yet how dangerous, it is to forget God (See Romans 1:20 ff).

Just as God remembered Noah, so He remembers us.

He never forgets us, but acts in His own good time, the very best time, to accomplish His will and bless His people.

"His love in time past forbids me to think, He'll leave me at last in trouble to sink,

Each sweet Ebenezer I have in review, confirms His good pleasure to help me quite through" (John Newton).

The Blight of Christianity

Sometimes Christianity reminds me of my family - there are some white elephants in the room that are never spoken about but everyone knows they are there. It seems that the Phelps family and their church have escaped little mention by the Christian world largely - that is left to the media to comment on. I've seen a few "incidences" involving the Phelps family and their "church" and I can't really keep my silence any longer. I'll start with the most recent and work back and then close with some reflections and questions.

I follow Lady Gaga on Twitter - and make no apology for it. I love her music and find her an inspiring albeit eccentric star. But most of all I love her outspoken honesty. Gaga tweeted last night;

"Tonight love and hate met in St. Louis. And love outnumbered the hate, in poetic thousands. Hate left. But love stayed. + Together, we sang".

I didn't know why she wrote that but somehow guessed that religion was involved. Sure enough I learned tonight that Phelps supporters decided to picket Gaga's concert in St Louis. You can tell that she was upset - because she tweeted quite a few times - and one comment stuck out to me. She tweeted;

"You are more fortunate and blessed than they are, and in your heart just pray for them. Although I respect and do not judge anyone".

Am I the only one finding something a bit "wrong" in that statement? Lady Gaga (who I am guessing isn't a Christian) is urging her fans and followers to realise they are MORE blessed and fortunate than people who would claim to be the most fortunate and blessed of all - yet are seen by the world as "hate criminals". Gaga describes the Phelps supporters as "violent and dangerous". Something's wrong surely.

Now some Christians (including the Phelps and co) would say that shows their gospel message is touching Gaga and her fans. "Violent and dangerous"? They are being convicted. Well what is the so-called "Gospel message" that the Phelps and their church is spreading? Here's a few of the key messages that I noticed on the pictures of the supporters picketing Gaga's concert in St Louis:

1. "Fags are Beasts - 2 Peter 2:12".

By the way I looked up 2 Peter 2:12 to see why this verse was chosen by the Phelps clan. The context of the passage - Peter speaks of the corrupt desire of the sinful nature and despise authority (v10). The result? These men are "not afraid to slander celestial beings". We cannot assume he means angels because in (v11) Peter makes the statement that "even angels" do not slander these people "in the presence of the Lord". Christians who have died and gone to glory? Opinion differs of course. And then (v12) he goes on to say that "such people" are brutes and will perish. The point - Peter is referring to "ANY" sinful being with corrupt desire and rebellion against authority. He is not singling out homosexuals and most certainly is including heterosexual lust. I trust the Phelps and their church never struggle with lust - because if they do, then by the judgement they dole out - are they so condemned.

2. "God hates Fags".

Well that can be dispensed with very quickly. John 3:16. "For God so loved the world that He sent His only Son that whoever believes ...". My favourite commentary on the Cross of Christ was by John Hosier. He said;

"Love constrained the Son of God to go to Calvary".

3. "God is your enemy".

I mean ... WHAT?! I love reading the Gospels to see how Jesus Christ walked the earth. The only time that I keep seeing Him angry and vengeful was against the religious Pharisees that walked in Jerusalem. Did He make whips and drive out the prostitutes? Or the tax collectors? No.

The other Phelps "item" that I saw was a You-Tube video - it wasn't Fred himself but his wife and granddaughters who appeared on the chat show of famous model and TV star Tyra Banks. The three women were obnoxious in the extreme - this is obviously what Banks wanted as it makes good TV. But to be honest she didn't have to work very hard to get the desired controversial results. The Phelps women called Tyra Banks a;

"Fab-enabler".

Essentially that term means that Tyra makes friends with "fags" and gives them jobs, encouragement and essentially "enables" their lifestyle. Here's the video;

Here's my questions and thoughts;

1. What does the "message of hate" that the Phelps and their church bring do to "attract" the lost to become interested in the Gospel?

2. Is hatred and derision of these Baptist "Christians" better than apathy?

3. The hatred of God - is it a biblically true concept in the New Covenant era - "the day of favour"?

4. The singling out of homosexuality - necessary? Appropriate? Helpful?

5. Is there a better way? I know there is - preach the gospel of grace in it's wonderful truth.

Thoughts?

Awake O Zion!!

I had a post written about my current dilemmas and thoughts on "Total Forgiveness" and was planning to post that - but was just sorting through my email inbox after my week away in Spain and was reading some of Terry Virgo's most recent blogs. This post caught my eye because it reminded me of a fab song we used to sing as kids that went;

"Awake, awake O Zion - come clothe yourself with strength! Put on your garments of splendour - O Jerusalem".

The blog post of Terry's is working through the book of Jonah and he wrote;

"The church is God’s messenger to a storm-tossed world. She holds the keys to the nations. She knows the answers that everybody needs to hear. How can the church sleep while the world is agonizing with such colossal pressures? How can she drift while people’s hearts are failing on every side? Suicides, drug addiction, mindless brutality, abused children, elderly people terrified to answer their doorbells at night – what a world we live in. How can the church, God’s prophetic voice to the nations, become so purposeless and fall asleep?".

Sleep. Am I sleeping spiritually and personally? Is the church sleeping spiritually and corporately? It's not something you hear suggested very often. But if we are sleeping then who is acting as God's watchmen for the world? If we are sleeping spiritually then no wonder the prophetic is so lacking in passion and strength. The one prophetic word that we may not be actually hearing from God is;

"Wake up!".

Terry went on;

"Today, God wants you to share His anguish. ‘Look at those huge cities: London, Birmingham, Manchester …’ he’d say. ‘Their wickedness has come up before me, and I’m angry at their sin, but I love the people and long to show them compassion and mercy. Take the gospel to them. I want to display my love and power in your cities, to give them the opportunity to repent.’ Are you personally obeying God in this great commission, or have you fallen asleep?".

Waking up. Maybe that is the central word to my current situation. And the response? Terry Virgo's next blog post brings a response to that; "Help!".

"‘Help!’ That’s where you start. You don’t begin by trying to work out exactly how God might want to be addressed – ‘I beseech thee, almighty God, creator of the universe …’ You don’t begin by reviewing your own unworthiness and the various sins you’ve committed since you drifted away. There are times when urgency totally eclipses formality".

Too often Christians judge those struggling because they speak or write or act angrily. Such people are often seen as rebellious or backsliding - whereas actually could it be possible that "urgency is eclipsing formality"?

I love these next few words. These are the words of a pastor.

"‘Help!’ is a cry God will not ignore. You could be restored to God as you read these words. Why don’t you cry to him for help even now, at this very moment?".

And the next stage? Well Terry answers that in his next post; "What I have vowed I will make good".

"Jonah – far removed from God’s will, alone, tired and miserable – prayed, ‘What I have vowed I will make good.’ In that moment, as if a severed electric cable had been rejoined to its source, there was light, power, revelation and a shout of assurance, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord’ (Jonah 2:9). His declaration triggered an immediate response in heaven".

Have you (like me) forgotten some of the promises you made to God in the initial rushes of "first love" towards Him? Have you forgotten how strong you felt - how passionate you felt about reaching the lost and changing the world for God? Has constant weariness, battle and cynicism worn you down so that you (like me) have become bitter and disappointed and wondering at times whether God too has forgotten the promises He made you?

I'm ready to take a risk and hope that electric cable will be rejoined to it's source. I am so so grateful for Terry Virgo and his faithful prophetic ministry that just manages to speak to exactly where you are at.

1. Wake up!

2. Cry "Help!".

3. Remember "What I have vowed I will make good".

Don't Stop Believing!!

I'm repeating a cliche today that I have repeated before. And probably quoting a song that I have quoted before. But when life isn't the easiest or the best, it is often a wise idea to stick to what you know. Very often the depressed individual struggles with feelings triumphing over truth. The worse case scenario is that a person commits suicide when they truly lose all hope and cannot see any reason for living.

I was excited to see the trailer for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows has been released and was fascinated with the final scene of it - Voldemort is facing Harry and asks; "Why are you still living?". Harry replies; "Because I have something to live for".

The key then - the message to everyone who has ever struggled with depression is this: DON'T STOP BELIEVING!

Changing the World!!

I've spent the afternoon reading through some of my collections of past Restoration, New Wine and Renewal magazines. Everyone tends to focus on books in the Christian world - and indeed no one is more thankful for books than I. However we should not forget the importance of journals and magazines. In the academic world indeed - journals and magazines are seen as more current and up to date than books because of their more rapid production. I am toying with the best way to catalogue my magazines and journals so I can find key articles of interest. Maybe that's why journals and magazines are not quite as popular.

But I was particularly encouraged to read through the Newfrontiers Magazines. I love the vision and passion of these people! They ask the questions that few dare to ask. Guest author Dr Martin Robinson wrote an article called; "Movements to change the world" in the September/November 2004 edition and said;

"Can we imagine a world where Christians have creditable research, where we develop a grass roots network of activists to support particular campaigns and where we strategise winning campaigns to shape opinion and change legislation?".

This so "scratches where I itch" to use the words of a former hero of mine. Christianity has been blessed with so many great minds and hearts - Wayne Grudem, Don Carson, Sam Storms, John Piper, Terry Virgo - to name just a few. Why are we not impacting the world more than we are? Why aren't governments listening to us? Why isn't John Piper being invited to the White House to counsel Barak Obama on the issues facing the USA? Why isn't Terry Virgo being invited to pray for the Prime Minister and Cabinet here in London?

Then Martin Goldsmith makes it applicable to us;

"If you had stood at the end of the 18th century you would have been in despair. But in a single generation they turned it around. History is full of single generations that turned the tide".

And this is particularly what grabbed me;

"The future is determined not by apathetic majorities but by committed minorities".

Let me quote that again;

"The FUTURE is determined NOT by apathetic majorities but by COMMITTED minorities".

It occured to me why the devil does not need to make his demons known in the Western world. If we know that we are facing hordes of spiritual darkness that tends to motivate us to prayer. Depression and darkness can cause us to do nothing because of lack of hope - more than any other weapon in Satan's arsenal! The only way that we will determine the future is if we remain committed to our vision!

What do you believe in? And are you prepared to die for it?

Lou Fellingham ....

I just wanted to share a couple of thoughts that came to me today. I was trying to encourage a dear friend who is struggling with depression and spiritual darkness and I was reminded of a point in "Pilgrims Progress" when Christian is walking through the Valley of the Shadow of Death and he sees Faithful ahead and says;

"Christian cried again, Stay, stay, till I come up to you. But Faithful answered, No, I am upon my life, and the avenger of blood is behind me".

I wondered why Faithful didn't stop. Was it because he was genuinely afraid after walking through one of the darkest valleys of their journey? It occured to me that many who are in deep spiritual darkness may feel the same - they may hear the cries of fellow Christians saying; "Wait - let me walk with you - let me share with you" and their response? "No - I've got to go - my life is on the line and the demons of hell are behind me". I reminded my friend that they are not alone - and there are others who are going through similar darkness. We are never alone.

While I was cooking in the kitchen I had some of Lou Fellingham's wonderful album on my iPod and this track; "Build This House" particularly struck me - and this line;

"So easy to desire what others have
Instead of seeing all the gifts that
You have given me
So help me fan the flame
which you began
And burn in me a love for you
that all will clearly see".

It so lovingly challenged me. When you are depressed it is so incredibly easy to think that life is hardest for ME and noone has it as hard. It is so incredibly easy to look at everyone else around you and resent their finances, their relationships or marriages and their gifts - instead of seeing "all the gifts that you have given me". So I just wanted to lay tribute at Lou Fellingham's door for reminding me to keep praying that God would fan into flame the love for Him that is there!

Here's the whole song;

The Best Wine is STILL to Come!!

I'm having a pretty rough time at the moment still believing in the church. I had a few rough emails today that I won't go into right now. But once again I found myself wondering why it seems to me that the world accept and welcome and appreciate and value - but the church seems to disprove, doubt and discourage whereever possible. So how do we react to a feeling like that? I suppose I could wallow in my frustration and disappointment but how would that value the waiting nations who need to hear the gospel?

My take tonight is to remind myself of the glorious church - to re-state the vision! It's something I've done now and again on this blog. And I am so, so grateful to God for heroes of the faith who state it far better than I and who see it far clearer than I. Tonight - C H Spurgeon is my companion, my encouragement, my guide.

1. Preaching a sermon called; "The Feast of the Lord" at New Park Street on November 28th 1858, Spurgeon said;

"There is better wine to come. We are in our privileges superior to patriarchs, and kings, and prophets. God has given us a brighter and a clearer day than they had; theirs was but the twilight of the morning, compared with the noon-day which we enjoy. But think not that we are come to the best wine yet. There are more noble banquets for God's church; and who knoweth how long, ere the best of the precious wine shall be broached? Know ye not that the King of Heaven is coming again upon this earth?".

"Again, he will not give us the best wine first, because that is not his good pleasure ... Again; your Father doth not give you the good wine now, because he is giving you an appetite for it ... Again, the Lord hath this also in view. He is making you fit for the best wine, that he may be glorified by the trial of your faith".

I love Spurgeon's closing remark;

"I have never seen heaven anywhere but close to Calvary. When I have seen my Saviour crucified, then I have seen him glorified; when I have read my name written in his blood, then I have seen afterwards my mansion which he has prepared for me. When I have seen my sins washed away, then I have seen the white robe that I am to wear for ever. Live near to the Saviour, man, and you shall not be very far off heaven. Recollect, after all, it is not far to heaven. It is only one gentle sigh, and we are there. We talk of it as a land very far off, but close it is, and who knows but that the spirits of the just are here to-night? Heaven is close to us; we cannot tell where it is, but this we know, that it is not a far off land. It is so near, that, swifter than thought, we shall be there, emancipated from our care and woe, and blessed for ever".

2. An aspect of the glorious church is vitally and essentially a MILITANT church - preaching a sermon called; "The Vanguard and Rereward of the Church" on December 28th 1858, Spurgeon said;

"Yet nevertheless, the church on earth has, and until the second advent must be, the church militant, the church armed, the church warring, the church conquering".

The reason for our triumphant confidence? Spurgeon says;

"Christ has gone before us, he has done something in that going before, for he has conquered every foe that lies in his way. Cheer up now thou faint-hearted warrior. Not only has Christ travelled the road, but he has slain thine enemies. Dost thou dread sin? he has nailed it to his cross. Dost thou dread death? he has been the death of Death. Art thou afraid of hell? he has barred it against the advent of any of his children; they shall never see the gulf of perdition. Whatever foes may be before the Christian, they are all overcome".

How can we NOT be confident?! Christ has gone before us! The sin that some religious Pharisees may seek to accuse us of has already been gloriously nailed to the Cross!

3. Spurgeon continues the militant glorious theme in his sermon; "Storming the Battlements" preached on September 16th 1855;

But he brings a note of warning first;

"God's church is very fond of building walls which her God has not sanctioned. She is not content to trust in the arm of God, but she will add thereto some extraneous help which God utterly abhors. "Beautiful for situation—the joy of the whole earth—is Mount Zion, upon the sides of the north, the city of the great king. As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, even so is God round about his people, from henceforth, for evermore." But his people are not content with God's being round about them, they seek some other protection".

That leaves me feeling encouraged and driven. This is something worth fighting for. The demonic counterfeit - that which pretends to be "grace" but is in fact legalism designed to control and manipulate is worth resisting and is worth fighting. Because the reality is glorious! The reality is wonderful! The reality will sweep the nations and will see thousands come to faith and trust in the Wonderful Saviour who gave His life in love to see many sons come to glory!

"The Hope of Grace Alone" by Pete Greasley

I'm on a cautious voyage of discovery. I have long bemoaned the fact that it seems incredibly difficult to find preachers in the United Kingdom who preach pure grace. So often it begins with grace but then ends up "applying" grace in lists of activities that are required to meet performance standards. When I listened and transcribed Pete Greasley's message at New Word Alive - I still maintained an element of suspicion, after all - everyone is on their best at conferences.

I was really encouraged by my friend Janelle's comment on that post that this message of grace is more wide-ranging across SGM than I feared from my experiences. So I decided to listen and transcribe Pete's message from last Sunday at his home church in Newport. Incredibly it was titled: "The Hope of Grace Alone" - sounds perfect. Here it is the video (the transcript is below):

Romans 4: 13 - 25 "The Hope of Grace Alone" from Christchurch, Newport on Vimeo.

The title of this morning is “The Hope of Grace Alone”.

"13 For the promise to Abraham and his offspring that he would be heir of the world did not come through the law but through the righteousness of faith. 14 For if it is the adherents of the law who are to be the heirs, faith is null and the promise is void. 15 For the law brings wrath, but where there is no law there is no transgression.

16 That is why it depends on faith, in order that the promise may rest on grace and be guaranteed to all his offspring—not only to the adherent of the law but also to the one who shares the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all, 17 as it is written, "I have made you the father of many nations"—in the presence of the God in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist. 18 In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, "So shall your offspring be." 19 He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb.

20No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, 21 fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. 22 That is why his faith was "counted to him as righteousness." 23 But the words "it was counted to him" were not written for his sake alone, 24but for ours also. It will be counted to us who believe in him who raised from the dead Jesus our Lord, 25 who was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification".

Let’s pray together. Lord I do pray this morning that as we come back to this difficult portion of Scripture that You by Your Holy Spirit will make it clear to us. That we would not only understand it but Lord – that we would be affected by it. Lord I pray that wrong thinking and wrong mindsets that are not from You but from the enemy would be broken this morning by the truth of Scripture and that truth would truly set us free. That the gospel would be truly seen in all it’s glory and again we may glory not in the flesh but entirely and completely and only in Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen.

I have a few questions for you to start off. Do you ever or have you ever worried about the reality of your salvation? Maybe your heart is not as warm as it once was. You can remember a time when you felt a lot closer to God and you start to question is this real? Am I truly saved? Are my sins forgiven? Maybe there is a besetting sin that has been plaguing you for years and you think how can a Christian still struggle with that. And you question the reality of your salvation. Maybe it is a fear that you could give all this up and go back into the world. Maybe it is a fear that God will say “I’ve had enough already. For years you have outstayed My patience”. Maybe there is a fear that on That Day – you won’t make it or be one that He says; “Well done My good and faithful servant”. If you have never had any of those fears you would be unusual because they are common temptations to man and to Christians. You may at some point – keep this in mind. You may be sitting here thinking this is a continual on-going struggle. My assurance – am I truly in Christ? Do I know it and feel it? Does it change me every day?

This Scripture is here to help you and all of us. We have an enemy and that enemy is the accuser of the brethren. He accuses us that what we believe is not real for us. He doesn’t accuse us that it is not real for us. He tries to get us to make that more real by what we do and move off the grounds of grace and into the grounds of what we do.

Satan doesn’t work by making us go downtown to have a wild time. Satan says “If you pray more or do this more or that more or the other more then God will love you more and accept you more”. He wants to move us off the grounds of grace.

I know we keep recapping in Romans – Romans 1 to Romans 3:20 is the bad news. The bad news that God is glorious and God the Creator has revealed enough of Himself to us so that we should worship Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and have no other gods beside Him. He shows us in that there is not one of us who seek God and not one glorifies God – but we turn our glory into ourselves and commit cosmic treason and God who should be adored and glorified and worshipped – is not. And we adore and glorify and worship ourselves and what God has created. The verdict at the end of the chapter is 3:20 – is “guilty as charged” without any appeal or anything left to say. God is right. Then we come to Romans 3:21-26 – worth learning by heart! Leon Morris said this is probably the most important paragraph ever written. In this here the incredible good news of amazing grace comes! Now there is a righteousness from God and of God that is made manifest and revealed apart from works – apart from us having to do ANYTHING to earn it.

As he opens that up to us in v21-26 – we see that those of us in Christ who believe (although the Old Testament pointed to this) for those of us who believe that Christ died and redeemed us and saved us and propitiated God’s wrath by His blood – for those God gives freely salvation and imputes Christ’s righteousness to us.

He considers us RIGHTEOUS apart from what we do!

There are two responses that go through to the end of chapter 4. This is what that good news does in us. Firstly it humbles us. Paul talks about application. Applying v21-26. “Let no one boast” – we have nothing to boast about because God has done it ALL in Christ! We cannot say “Didn’t I do great?”. The second part of application is assurance. Two things take place when we understand the glories of the gospel. One is humility and secondly assurance “It is ALL of grace”. This has got to be personal. We can know this theologically in our head but we have got to KNOW it so it completely fills us – we have GOT it – we are saved by grace alone and that I am in Christ and kept by Christ and be ultimately be with Christ!

I hope this Scripture serves you this morning – this is all about future hope because of what God has done. That is why you get the word “promise” here. In fact the word “promise” in vv13-25 is used five times if you see it! It keeps coming! Get the picture. Promise and faith! They keep coming back and back. At the beginning of chapter 1 Paul opens it up by talking about the gospel which He promised beforehand. So now he is opening up this promise of the gospel which should affect our hearts and minds.

We need to move from theology – understanding it – to doxology - embracing it, feeling it and glorifying God in our response to it.

We have just seen this incredible promise in the Gospel that God will count us as righteous with redemption through His death on a Cross. This incredible promise! The question comes – is this promise for me? Will God do this or has God done this for me? Can I know my future is secure? More importantly IS my future secure?

Knowing it is one thing but having it as a reality is more important.

And there will be very few people in this room who haven’t asked that question and haven’t at times struggled with that. I grew up understanding promises a bit. If dad made a promise it was concrete. If I could get out of him “I promise” – I would know that is secure as it can be. One circumstance that could change his promise for say us to go to the park is if I had been a very, very bad boy that week. There were a few weeks that I was particularly obnoxious. “You forfeited that promise because of how awfully you have behaved” – and you know the Bible is full of promises that come together with commands. If you don’t obey this command and do this. “Cast your care on the Lord” (command) “for He cares for you” (promise). “Delight yourself in the Lord” (command) “and He shall give you the desires of your heart” (promise). But not with justification! We will blow that apart! Sometimes dad would withdraw that promise or sometimes his intention would be to do it but he would have to go into work. The intention was there but sometimes I forfeited that promise or sometimes he was unable to keep it.

When we come to this Scripture, God wants to show us that when He makes a promise concerning our eternal salvation how we live has NOTHING to do with it at all – it is ALL by grace and He wants to show us that He has the power to carry it out.

That is the message! He goes into Abraham and comes back to this man who is their hero of faith. Abraham started it all up. God met Abe and told him to go and started the whole ball rolling with this man who will be the father of nations. If you look back into Genesis 15 and 16. You see God cutting a covenant with Abraham which is a picture of the Cross to come. God makes this covenant that he will be the father of many nations and shows him the stars and says “So will your descendants be numbered”. In Genesis 17 Abe tries to work it out for himself with Hagar but then God comes back and says “My promise is still here” and says it isn’t Hagar but Sarah. God says “I will call you father of multitudes”. This all points to Christ and essentially through a son – you will be the father of multitudes, the heir of the world and your descendents will fill and be the blessing of the world and …. You must be joking!!

When we examine the promise of grace alone by faith alone – He comes and shows us the picture of the promise to Abraham and says “See what I did and why I did it”. This is nuts! Abraham is 99 years old (almost 100) and I don’t want to get explicit here – but Abraham considers his own body and he says “I am past it”. He looked at Sarah and laughed and said “Her womb’s like a dried up prune!”. Excuse me ladies. You are telling me that I will get her pregnant?! He is twice my age! I know I am good for 50! But at the same point Abraham is 100 years old and his wife is 90 and God says you will get her pregnant! He presented Hagar and Ishmael – and he laughed to himself. Later on when Sarah overheard the Lord coming and speaking and she laughed too. It was ridiculous and absurd and naturally impossible. It provoked absurd hysterical laughter.

What?! This is MY promise to you. When we read verse 21 through 26 we should experience something of the same emotion that Abraham and Sarah experienced when God came and promised them the earth. When God came and said “I will do this for you” and it was beyond their ability to conceive or understand or grasp. The only natural response is “What?!”. “But now a righteousness from God is revealed apart from faith” – if we really get the promise of the gospel, our response should be hysterical laughter! This is how glorious and holy God is and how guilty God is – and yet He is counting us as righteous in the death of His Son!

The problem with so many Christians is that we don’t take it as it is. We try to add so much into it. As we see the gospel our response should be; “It can’t be so good that it doesn’t matter how I live”. You will say “Well I shouldn’t say that because that is close to antinomianism because the Bible says it does matter”.

I know the Bible says it matters how we live but the Bible says it DOESN’T matter how I live in order to be justified!

We must get this point otherwise we move from grace to works and fall from grace. Nothing from me? Nothing at all? No. A bit? No. Nothing! What does God want our response to be to this – this is why He is taking us back to Abraham. He wants us to see Him and His faithfulness and He wants us to see our response to it. So I have got four things that I will go through. It is all about where our hope can be found.

1. The Ground of Abraham’s Hope.

We find that he majors on what the ground isn’t. There is a negative that comes in here. (v13); “That he would inherit the promises … did NOT come through the law (what he does) but through the righteousness of faith”. He is saying “I tell you what his grounds weren’t – they weren’t ANYTHING of himself or what he could do”. This was God’s promise to him!

If you try and do something about this promise then it becomes null and void!

You have to trust completely. If you start to put your hand out (which is the natural thing to do) then the promise of me catching you is gone. If I see that hand move then my promise is over. You must trust completely. You can’t tense – I will catch you just before you hit the floor.

In your spirit – everything in you when God says “Grace alone by faith alone in Christ alone” – your very nature is towards works. I want to do something to support myself and God says “No”.

What could Abraham have done? He could have started a fitness regime or gone to the chemist or done something! This is real life stuff! This isn’t Aladdin – this guy was 100 years old and God said that they were going to get pregnant. Everything in him said “What can I do?”. He had already tried to make it happen! Abraham gave up and said there is nothing I can do to make this happen. That’s why the Scripture says he didn’t waiver in faith! It was absurd – so much so that only God could do this.

Our salvation – Romans 3:21-26 is ALL of grace. APART from works! Nothing that you do! Abraham knew this and did this but if you try and add works in then the promise is void. The promise is only based on what God would do – it is all of grace. So when we look that – we find he believed against hope! He hoped against hope! His hope was now outside of himself against the natural hope he had within himself. He gave up his own hope and hoped only and entirely on God. It is that giving up and refusal for self-atonement – even the smallest bit. You can have 99% promise and 1% works. It must be 100% or nothing.

C H Spurgeon says this. He said you would sooner yoke a gnat to an archangel than try and help Christ save you – it must be all of grace or none at all It is all of grace! It was 100% trusting God!

2. The Object of His Hope.

It turns from not himself to God alone. This is 100% proof grace. God alone and completely alone with grace alone. See (v16b) – this is why it depends on faith. The promise may rest on grace and be guaranteed to all his offspring. God’s promise of saving you by grace must rest on that grace – it must rest there! We have nothing to bring! Paul says it again and again – we must feel it and know it and get it.

It is not how we live but what He has done through Christ – His life and His death. Grace is the only guarantee!

You buy a computer and there is a thing on the back that says “If you peel this off or try to unscrew this computer to mend it – the guarantee is null and void”. You cannot touch it! Everything in you thinks I can sort this – how hard can it be? You peel it off carefully and unscrew it – but the moment you do that, it has gone.

God is saying that the moment you think you can go in to do something to aid Christ, the promise is no longer the promise.

In hope in God – in verse 20 you find it is all about God for him. “Fully convinced that God was able to do what He had promised”. That is what God wants for us this morning. Would you jump out of the plane and flap your arms without a parachute? And when you have a parachute – flapping your arms doesn’t work either. Unless Christ saves you – all our works count as nothing. For us the promise is that we now see Christ. It is not just a promise to Abraham – now there is a righteousness of God revealed and it is apart from works! It is the salvation and redemption we get in Christ Jesus – we see Christ crucified and later on in Romans 8, he takes that. “If God did not spare His own Son … how much more will He not give us all things” – he expands and expands and it gets more and more scandalous!

This is too free and too good and too simple! This is ridiculous! It is amazing if you get it! Paul says “Get it!”. Abraham got it! Abraham gave up his own works and put his trust totally and utterly in God. That is how the Galatians started you know! The Galatians started by seeing Christ and Paul said in Galatians 3; “You have moved away from the gospel!”. Your faith centred around him and now you are hoping for the future in what you are doing rather than continually relying on Him. You are flapping your arms. You are far from grace! It is finished – it is sorted once and for all! Christ and His finished work is the object of our hope. He is an example for us to rely and trust on God alone.

3. The Certainty of His Hope.

He has the will and He has the power to make us and keep us righteous for all eternity. Remember my dad – you have blown this promise. Here he shows us that we cannot forfeit the promise. He has the power to keep this promise and nothing that we can do – He has the grace to keep this promise. This is the proof (v17b) – he says; “In the presence of the God who gives life to the dead … and calls into existence the things that do not exist”. Abraham believes God because God creates something from nothing. Paul is saying apply this to yourself. Righteousness apart from works – he takes nothing – he takes that which is dead and to the dead one, he brings life and creates from nothing. He creates someone who is loved, known and saved by Christ. He does it and He makes it. Here am I – Pete Greasley – not a Christian but before the foundation of the earth God calls into existence and He takes me from darkness to life, He takes His Spirit and places it within me and imputes Christ’s righteousness to me – and Paul says now I am a new creation! He promised it and He did it!

How can I undo that? You can’t! Will my works and failure undo it? No – because it is only promise! Promise with no added mixture of works! Will God reject Christ’s work on the Cross – no never! It is always going to be there!

My salvation and your salvation is entirely and completely outside of yourself. God takes that which is nothing. And brings it to something – so no one may boast and that we may trust in “grace that has brought me safe thus far and grace will take me home”. Will God show me grace? Romans 8:32 – He gave up His Son – what more proof do you need? He rose Christ from the dead – God can do this and it is the proof of His power and grace and the proof of His certainty!

4. The Effect of this Hope.

Faith and assurance! He is standing on something entirely outside of himself. How many times have I preached this?! There will be times when you haven’t got this and if they knew what I was like inside, they would question this! Challenges do come! He believes and did not waver or distrust but grew strong in faith and glorified God and most importantly – not just how he felt – but (v22) that is why his faith was counted to him as righteousness.

Those words were counted for us too – who believe in Him. He took the promise of Abraham and has transferred it into the New Testament. “Christ died for our sins”. Because he trusted on what Christ has done, therefore he was counted righteous before God. If our salvation is outside of ourselves then we are counted righteous before God.

How you feel is irrelevant. What you do is irrelevant. What you don’t do is irrelevant. What do think or don’t think or say or don’t say – nothing! How you put your arms out – nothing!

You are saved by grace! That is entirely outside of you and it is a gift of God through faith. That is a gift too by the way! That is why I know I am safe and secure in the promise of God and it will never ever be taken back or voided – because it was Christ alone! Faith alone by grace alone through Christ alone for the glory of God alone – the word is “ALONE”. For the glory of Christ alone! It is all outside of ourselves! On that day some of you (self-righteous people) and say “Did we not do this or that?” and He will look them in the eye and say “Depart from Me I never knew you”. But also on that day He will give us our reward. A lot of people who thought they would never make it will be there. You will be there and stand before Him and hear “Well done – thou good and faithful servant” and you will fall on the floor flabbergasted.

I believe God wants you to have an assurance of your faith. You can live your whole life without assurance and still be saved. Have you received Him? Yes. Do you feel saved? No not always – doesn’t matter, you are saved!

It is not your strength of your assurance that will get you there. We are in Christ! Christ has died for me and there is nothing I can do to find myself in hell. It is all of grace. Our assurance – that assures His promise by Christ’s atoning death – my hope is built not on my feelings or on my works or thoughts but my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness. What happens when you move your hope outside of yourself and how you feel – it all floods back. We preach the gospel to ourselves daily – all of grace – all of faith – all of Christ! We worry about grace because we look within. Just like Abraham we can not waver in our faith but be fully convinced.

The conclusion? If God declares me righteous then who can condemn me! Can this or that? Or life or angels? Or anything? No! It can’t be that good! It is that good.