Exhausted of "Churchianity"?

I have had a rare and enjoyable day off doing some "DIY" and shopping - and as per usual have spent much of it glued to my iPhone catching up on events from around the globe. For me - this is usually through my Twitter account but also reading some of Brent Detweiler's extensive documents on the current SGM controversy. I really don't know how the man gets his sheer determination and focus to write so extensively on what he believes is right. And I share much of his concerns - SGM needs an overhaul and some honest confession from the top.

But I have to admit I find reading it all quite exhausting. Is this really "the Bride of Christ"? What does our heavenly awesome Bridegroom make of this? Surely there must be "more"?

Lou Fellingham's beautiful song "I will say" is like balm to my tired soul at this time (and I'm sure many others). Sadly there isn't a You-Tube video of this song live - but for those who haven't heard Lou's amazing voice - here is her singing "There is a Day".

I will say

"You give rest to the weary

You bring strength to the weak
As they wait in your presence
There is grace for their need

So I’ll wait, I’ll wait
Yes I’ll wait, I’ll wait for you

I will say of the Lord he is my refuge
I will say of the Lord he is my strength
I will say of the Lord he is my shelter, my hiding place

You can come in the silence
You can come in the noise
Bringing peace in a moment
Bringing comfort and joy

So I’ll wait, I’ll wait
Yes I’ll wait, I’ll wait for you

I will say of the Lord he is my refuge
I will say of the Lord he is my strength
I will say of the Lord he is my shelter, my hiding place
I will come to the source all creation
I will drink from the well that never dries
I will draw from the one who won’t grow tired
The lord of all

And I’ll wait, I’ll wait
Yes I’ll wait, I’ll wait for you
I will wait, I’ll wait
Yes I’ll wait, I’ll wait for you

I will say of the Lord he is my refuge
I will say of the Lord he is my strength
I will say of the Lord he is my shelter, my hiding place
I will come to the source all creation
I will drink from the well that never dries
I will draw from the one who won’t grow tired
The lord of all

You give rest to the weary
You bring strength to the weak

Learning How to Worship from a Worshipper!!

One of my favourite pasttimes if I am struggling to engage with God during worship in church is to focus and watch someone who is "in the zone" and I find it lifts my spirits and before long I am leaving distractions aside and focusing on what really matters - or Who really matters! One of the reasons why I treasure women worship leaders so much - such as Kate Simmonds, Lou Fellingham, Darlene Zschech or Isi de Gersigny - is I find they are far more abandoned to worship and far more ready to move into the Holy Place. I love it!

And Wendy Virgo is no exception. Although she doesn't leave worship, she is pretty easy to spot in a Newfrontiers conference. She is usually to be spotted in the front row with both arms raised - lost in wonder, love and praise. So it is great to read her latest blog post;

"The pastor called the chattering mob to order. “OK folks! Time to stop talking and start worshipping!” It was hard to get them to focus at first: 500+ people all greeting, hugging, laughing, swapping stories, kids milling about. It was warm, friendly, lively and strangers were welcomed gladly. But John the pastor persevered, and the band played some chords. “OK, are you ready to worship? God is here. He will meet with us and speak to us.”

Somehow you knew this was true; it had already been demonstrated in the expressions of love in the large auditorium. Now the people responded, rising to their feet to sing. For the next 50 minutes we were in glory, enjoying God, celebrating our salvation, worshipping the King among us.

A lot of the time our hands were in the air, or clapping, or both. The band was technically excellent: it was difficult to keep still! The words of the songs were declarations of truth that resonated in heart and mind. It was loud, but it seemed appropriate!

There were prophecies, a reading or two, a tongue and interpretation, a prophetic song. From the top of the banked seating to the front of the auditorium, there was enthusiastic involvement. It drew to a close after about 50 mins. Long? It didn’t feel long. When Terry came to preach, he was speaking to hearts that were open, primed to hear and receive.

I have been in worship that was technically excellent, but empty. I have been in long worship that seemed endless! I have been in loud worship and it was simply noise that made my ears hurt. I have also been in worship that was efficient, brief lasted exactly 14 minutes and 32 secs, and it did not leave me longing for more; no room for gifts of the Spirit.

I have learned a technique: when I am in an unfamiliar crowd and I want to find Jesus, I imagine I am like the woman who needed to press through and touch his robe. I try to push through the obstacles to find Him. But it is so refreshing when you are in a crowd that is shouting hosanna, metaphorically waving palm branches and welcoming the King! Seeker friendly? Bah, humbug!

So—how do you get there? You prioritise on the presence of God. Musicians learn that they are like priests who stand before God and the people, and make it easy or hard to find Him. There has to be an ethos in the church of anticipating the presence of God, to recognise Him, cherish Him and respond to Him.

The previous day, we had looked around an amazing new facility that had become available for their newest church plant. This is a burgeoning church, a church on the move, but a worshipping church. Gifts of the Spirit flow; lives are being changed; people are being saved.


What an edifying weekend!"

Lou Fellingham and Phatfish with the All Souls Orchestra at Prom Praise!

I've had two great loves and two different expressions in worship for many years now. One of course is the more contemporary style of choruses led by worship bands. The other is the mighty and triumphant hymns that express great theology. The first is the reason why I love attending Bible Weeks like Stoneleigh Bible Week and indeed church life in general. The second sadly is a little more hard to come by since I left my home church in Dunstable. Hymns! There is nothing greater or closer to heaven than singing a mighty hymn like "And Can it Be?" or "Oh for a Thousand Tongues" along with a great organ.

Fortunately thanks to the All Souls Orchestra and Noel Tredinnick - that is possible by attending one of their great "Prom Praise" events (they will be visiting Birmingham in October!). There is nothing greater than standing with thousands of others at the Royal Albert Hall singing one of these great hymns.

So I was thrilled to read on Lou Fellingham's Twitter that she and Phatfish were special guests with Noel Tredinnick at the last Prom Praise event at Easter. Here's a video that Simon Brading shot for their You-Tube account!

The best of all worlds of worship have come together!

Worship from "Together on a Mission 2010"

One of the main elements I desperately missed from being at Brighton this year was the worship - Kate Simmonds and Lou Fellingham are my favourite worship leaders alongside Darlene Zschech (and Isi de Gersigny). What do they all have in common? Yes - they are all beautiful blond ladies. Yes - they all have incredible voices. But more importantly than even that, they all have a God-given, Spirit-empowered ability to lead the people into the manifest Presence of God. And I guess that is faith-building in and of itself.

I will never, ever forget being at CCK in Brighton when Rob Rufus was speaking just before "Together on a Mission 2007" and hundreds of us had flocked up for prayer - and I saw Kate Simmonds just round the stage up front dramatically receiving from God. That stuck with me - a daughter of God who was thirsty for more of Him.

So I'm grateful and very interested in this blog for faithfully recording the songs sung - and even more excited and encouraged to see that the worship leaders at Brighton do not make it all about "new" songs. Some of my favourite "golden oldies" were sung there such as;

Holy Holy (All The Heavens) Reuben Morgan
Majesty, Worship His Majesty Jack Hayford
Here Is Love Vast As The Ocean William Rees (& Kate Simmonds)
Jesus Lover Of My Soul Paul Oakley
Strength Will Rise Brenton Brown
Father of creation David Ruis
In him I have believed Kate Simmonds

Here's the complete list;

TUESDAY 1130

The Greatest Day In History (Happy Day) Tim Hughes
Come Let Us Worship The King of Kings Nathan Fellingham
To God Be The Glory Fanny Crosby and Nathan Fellingham
Holy Holy (All The Heavens) Reuben Morgan
Who O Lord (You Alone Can Rescue) Matt Redman
Majesty, Worship His Majesty Jack Hayford

TUESDAY 1430

We Are Gathered Evan Rogers
This Is The Day Evan Rogers
You Give Me (New Song) Evan Rogers
Twimba Lelu Evan Rogers
You O Lord, Rich In Mercy Mark Veary & Paul Oakley
And Can It Be Charles Wesley
You Have Become For Us Wisdom Mark Altrogge
No One But You Lord Andy Park

TUESDAY 1900

My Saviour, Redeemer Reuben Morgan
Wake Up My Soul Kate Simmonds
Looking In The Sky (Amazing God) Nathan Fellingham
Here Is Love Vast As The Ocean William Rees (& Kate Simmonds)
How Lovely Is Your Dwelling Place (Better Is One Day) Matt Redman

WEDNESDAY 0900

The Glory Of Our King Matt Redman
Looking In The Sky (Amazing God) Nathan Fellingham
To God Be The Glory Fanny Crosby and Nathan Fellingham
Oh To See The Dawn Stuart Townend
Lift Up His Name Nathan Fellingham
Jesus Lover Of My Soul Paul Oakley

WEDNESDAY 1430

Clap Your Hand Evan Rogers
What A Mighty God You Serve Evan Rogers
You Are Mighty Craig Musseau
Strength Will Rise Brenton Brown
When The Dark Prevails Evan Rogers
There Is A Day Nathan Fellingham

WEDNESDAY 1900

Praise awaits you Matt Redman
Even as the world began Matt Redman
Great is he who’s the king of kings
Grace is not earned Kate Simmonds
I stand amazed in the presence C H Gabriel
Father of creation David Ruis

THURSDAY 0900

You Are The Lord Chris Tomlin
In Jesus Nathan Fellingham
Promised Land Nathan Fellingham
A Father To The Fatherless Paul Oakley

THURSDAY 1115

We Stand And Lift Up (Holy Is The Lord) Chris Tomlin
Praise Is Rising Nathan Fellingham
Our God Is Greater Chris Tomlin
We Are Thirsty (Let It Rain) Simon Brading
Strength Will Rise Brenton Brown
In All I Do (This Is My Worship) Lou Fellingham

THURSDAY 1430

To God Be The Glory Fanny Crosby and Nathan Fellingham
From The Highest of Heights Laura Story
Christ In Me Lou Fellingham
Your Blood Matt Redman
Blessing and Honour Gary Sadler

THURSDAY 1900

When the dark prevails Evan Rogers
I believe in Jesus Marc Nelson
From the north to the south Evan Rogers
Celebrate in the lord Evan Rogers
Who is this emerging like the dawn Evan Rogers
Everybody in the Church Evan Rogers
Free free I’m free indeed Evan Rogers
Ecstatic Praise Evan Rogers
Happy Day You give me hope / New Song Evan Rogers
Bambelela

FRIDAY 0900

There is mercy from the throne Phatfish
Here is love William Rees
Saviour King

FRIDAY 1115

In Jesus Phatfish
Wake up my soul Kate Simmonds
Grace is not earned Kate Simmonds
Christ in me Phatfish
In him I have believed Kate Simmonds

I hope there's a live CD coming out!

Lou Fellingham ....

I just wanted to share a couple of thoughts that came to me today. I was trying to encourage a dear friend who is struggling with depression and spiritual darkness and I was reminded of a point in "Pilgrims Progress" when Christian is walking through the Valley of the Shadow of Death and he sees Faithful ahead and says;

"Christian cried again, Stay, stay, till I come up to you. But Faithful answered, No, I am upon my life, and the avenger of blood is behind me".

I wondered why Faithful didn't stop. Was it because he was genuinely afraid after walking through one of the darkest valleys of their journey? It occured to me that many who are in deep spiritual darkness may feel the same - they may hear the cries of fellow Christians saying; "Wait - let me walk with you - let me share with you" and their response? "No - I've got to go - my life is on the line and the demons of hell are behind me". I reminded my friend that they are not alone - and there are others who are going through similar darkness. We are never alone.

While I was cooking in the kitchen I had some of Lou Fellingham's wonderful album on my iPod and this track; "Build This House" particularly struck me - and this line;

"So easy to desire what others have
Instead of seeing all the gifts that
You have given me
So help me fan the flame
which you began
And burn in me a love for you
that all will clearly see".

It so lovingly challenged me. When you are depressed it is so incredibly easy to think that life is hardest for ME and noone has it as hard. It is so incredibly easy to look at everyone else around you and resent their finances, their relationships or marriages and their gifts - instead of seeing "all the gifts that you have given me". So I just wanted to lay tribute at Lou Fellingham's door for reminding me to keep praying that God would fan into flame the love for Him that is there!

Here's the whole song;

Sometimes Only Worship Will Do ....

Does Anyone Listen to What They're Singing Anymore?!

Okay this might be one of those points that could sound like a small moan ... maybe. But I hope my point will come across. It was prompted by the purchase of the latest Brighton "Together on a Mission" worship CD - "Salvation's Song: 2008 Live worship from TOAM & Mobilise". It's always hard to listen to a live worship CD and "connect" to the sense of worship there when you weren't actually at the conference yourself. I always find Newfrontiers live worship CD's the easiest to try though - because I've been to more conferences than not, I can imagine pretty well what it was like. But would I rave about it? Because you've probably figured out I am one of those people who can't be lukewarm about anything - I love it or I hate it! Whereas this CD - I'm lukewarm. I love some of the songs (more later) ... I always love Lou Fellingham and Simon Brading's wonderful worship leading ... but ... I don't have the memories to bring it to life!

The one song that has confused me somewhat is Lou Fellingham's recent; "Once I was dead to You (Promised land)". And here's where the whole "hymnody" musing arose. The song (while sang beautifully by herself and the gathered thousands) has the line in it:

"Through Your suffering, I’m forgiven, Pressing onward to the promised land ... His name is Jesus, sent from Heaven, To take us homeward to the promised land".

I have to ask - why did the Fellinghams chose the words "Promised Land" to describe what they clearly mean as heaven? Because in doing so they have abandoned a clear fundamental restorationist type of Old Testament teaching (absolutely central to Ern Baxter's Dales Bible Week 1977 series) and have adopted a more popular but misguided conservative evangelical type - seen in hymns every now and then. Essentially that teaching - as Lou Fellingham sings - is that the "Promised Land" is a spiritual type of heaven and our eternal rest.

But as C H Spurgeon asks:

"It has generally been considered, that the passage of the Jordan by the Israelites is typical of death, and that Canaan is a fitting representation of heaven. We believe that in some sense it is true, and we do fondly cherish the household words of those hymns which describe our passing through Jordan's billows, and landing safe on Canaan's side; but we do think that the allegory does not hold, and that Jordan is not a fair exhibition of death, nor the land of Canaan a fair picture of the sweet land beyond the swelling flood which the Christian gains after death.

For mark you, after the children of Israel had entered into Canaan, they had to fight with their enemies. It was a land filled with foes. Every city they entered they had to take by storm, unless a miracle dismantled it. They were warriors, even in the land of Canaan, fighting for their own inheritance; ...

But when we cross the river of death we shall have no foes to fight, no enemies to encounter. Heaven is a place already prepared for us; out of it the evil ones have long ago been driven; there brethren shall await us with pleasing faces, kind hands shall clasp ours, and loving words shall alone be heard. The shout of war shall ne'er be raised by us in heaven; we shall throw our swords away, and the scabbards with them. No battles with warriors there, no plains besoaked with blood, no hills where robbers dwell, no inhabitants with chariots of iron.

It is "a land flowing with milk and honey;" and it dreams not of the foeman of Canaan of old. We think the church has lost the beauty of Scripture, in taking Jordan to mean death, and that a far fuller meaning is the true allegory to be connected with it".

Does it really matter you may ask? It's "poetic license" and it makes the song sound nice. Well how about I give another example from the more cessationist side of things before drawing my conclusions.

I remember shortly before I left my home church in Dunstable, the new pastor (and successor to Dr Stanley Jebb) was receiving rave reviews from most of the congregation mainly because he was choosing "lively choruses" during the worship - whereas for the last few years in Dunstable, the worship had been restricted to hymns. But I was rather staggered when he proceeded to preach a sermon from 1 and 2 Samuel about Saul prophecying with the prophets - and drew an application from that, that the gift of prophecy did not and could not exist today ... and closed and asked us to stand and sing; "I Hear the Sound of Rustling"!

For those who are not aware of the chorus - "I Hear the Sound of Rustling" was a very popular chorus that was sung during the Charismatic Movement at the Dales and Downs and our own Anglia Bible Weeks. The lyrics included a charismatic theology (that the new pastor of my home church had just spent half an hour trying to dismantle!) including words like this;

"The Spirit of the Lord has come down on the earth

The church that seemed in slumber has now risen from its knees
And dry bones are responding with the fruits of new birth ...

And all around the world the body waits expectantly

The promise of the Father is now ready to fall

The watchmen on the tower all exhort us to prepare

And the church responds-a people who will answer the call

And this is not a phase which is passing

It's the start of an age that is to come ...

A body now prepared by God and ready for war

The prompting of the Spirit is our word of command

We rise, a mighty army, at the bidding of the Lord

The devils see and fear, for their time is at hand ...".

I personally love the song! But there again - I believe fervently in restoration! Why on earth were we singing that chorus after an essentially cessationist sermon in a reformed evangelical functionally cessationist church?! Can that be called "poetic license" too?

And here again we come back to my problem. Are we really listening to what we are singing? One of my favourite historical books charting the Charismatic Movement (or more accurately the Restorationist Movement) is by Professor Andrew Walker and is called; "Restoring the Kingdom". Professor Walker made the point that in his opinion Graham Kendrick was probably the most influential "theologian" of charismatic life in the United Kingdom - purely through his choruses and his songs. So on the one hand songs DO matter! But then on the other - do they?

I must state my profound admiration for SGM and in particular Bob Kauflin at this point. I've made no secret of the fact that I have many problems with some of their ecclesiology. But thanks to songwriters like Bob Kauflin - SGM are 100% consistent in what they believe and in what they sing. I could be wrong but I doubt you will find an SGM-written song promoting a theological viewpoint that they don't believe in. I remember years back Mark Altrogge wrote a number of restorationist songs (because we sang some of them back in Dunstable in the days before I had even heard of C J Mahaney or Larry Tomczak!). I doubt they are sung anymore in SGM circles - and again I applaud the consistency with the changes in theology.

So back to the song that started this "moan" - Lou Fellinghams; "Promised Land". I suppose in the grand scheme of Kingdom New Covenant life - it really doesn't matter whether I sing a song about heaven being like the Promised Land or not. But I think C H Spurgeon has got the ultimate and final point. Are there going to be giants in heaven with cities to take? I sincerely hope not - if Scripture is to be believed. So why then are we singing about it? Does it signify a drift away from Newfrontiers traditional restorationist beliefs or is it really as simple as the line fitted the song quite well? Or does no one really care?!

Drinking from the Stream ...

Some of you may remember my previous post: "Thirsty? There is No Other Stream ...". I learnt that when you make a statement such as that it's important - no vital - to "live" what you write. To "experience" what I saw. Otherwise I'm no better than any other dry and dusty Pharisee that's a dime a dozen these days. I've been having a pretty terrible few weeks at work and have been struggling with work-related stress and it looks like I may have to work through a grievance procedure at work so things probably aren't going to get better for a while. BUT! I was walking to work on my 5th night of 6 and happened to play a selection of worship songs on my IPOD - with my favourite worship leaders; Darlene Zscech, Kate Simmonds and Lou Fellingham.
And I can only say that the power of God fell on me! The theme of all the worship songs seemed to naturally be the Cross of Christ - the amazing nature of "shuffle"! Again and again the fresh and amazing revelation of those songs came through to me again and again. That "Christ was made sin for us - Took the blame, bore the wrath—We stand forgiven at the cross"! When it got to the line; "For through Your suffering I am free. Death is crushed to death; Life is mine to live" - I found it hard to keep standing never mind walking!

It reminded me of the vital nature of drinking of the Spirit - continually. Why is it that we so quickly forget and relegate experiences of God to special occasions? If we are - then surely we are depriving ourselves of power to live by! And worship is such an awesome way to turn our attention off our problems and back to God. Thanks to Lydia for reminding me of the awesome Hillsongs resources that are available - their worship videos never fail to stir me.

Here's a few. Enjoy!

"You are My World".


"I Will Run to You".


And one of my favourites; "Mighty to Save".


Whatever life throws at us - whatever trials, whatever tribulations - let's never forget to worship the King of Kings - the Lover of our souls! Because He is worthy!