Grace demands Radical Change ... !!

This post is not going to be a comfortable one for anyone. It's not going to be comfortable for legalists because I am going to make some statements that will draw them to conclusions - conclusions I have already been receiving from some quarters. It's not going to be comfortable for "nice" Christians who may have formed particular opinions of me and don't want those "nice" opinions shattered. It's not going to be comfortable for those who may be in denial about areas of my life they don't want to know about. And it's going to be a definite step out of my comfort zone because any air of "respectability" that I proudly hung onto will be gone! So with that caveat-warning out the way, I can take no responsibility for what is to follow. Read on at your peril!

Please note that I haven't written this post in solidarity. I am aware that it may cause offence to some (I hope it doesn't because I don't mean it to - I am just telling the truth). So I have emailed it to Pete Day and to Julie and Lydia and have taken their observations and edits on board.

The statement I am about to make is based on my own experience and observation and I am more than willing to be corrected on it. I believe there are certain taboo subjects in the church that bring an element of discomfort and awkwardness. One such subject is that of people suffering with HIV and AIDS. I rejoiced therefore to read in the latest Newfrontiers magazine;

"As Christians we should not ask, ‘How did you become infected with HIV?’ but rather our question should be, ‘How can we help and support you to live with the virus?’".

Attitudes seem to be slowly changing! Thank God for Newfrontiers! But the issue I want to discuss is that of homosexuality. To put in context why I am writing this post, it is necessary that I share a degree of personal testimony. Before I do that however I need to make some definitions. As a New Covenant Christian I don't believe that God sees His creation as "gay" or "straight". But the world has become so familiar with such titles that I must of necessity use them. In this post I will be talking about;

1. Homosexual (Men or Women) - People attracted to members of the same sex exclusively.

2. Heterosexual (Men or Women) - People attracted to members of the opposite sex exclusively.
3. Bisexual (Men or Women) - People attracted to members of the same and opposite sex.

A. The Past

So I grew up (as many who read this blog are aware) in a strict religious background in a Bible-believing church where it was explicitly taught that homosexual practice is wrong. Stanley Jebb - my senior pastor - made much use of the passage in Leviticus and Romans 1 to show that homosexuality was a perversion and I believed it. It was slightly upsetting and disconcerting therefore to find that as I progressed into my teenage years I was developing feelings of attraction towards people of the same sex. This wasn't helped by attending a Christian school ran by the church - while I was at that school I was abused by an adult and went through the usual feelings of guilt that I didn't do anything to stop this pattern that went on until the individual left the church. In a weird sort of way I "enjoyed" the attention of the abuse. I was to spend the next 10 years trying to "cure" myself. If there was a pill on offer that would have made me heterosexual then I would have taken it. If there was surgery - I would have gone through it ... without anaesthesia.

When I say I tried to "cure" myself - this is just some of what I attempted. I legalistically read my Bible for an hour every morning (without fail) - especially the passages in the Bible that dealt with the horrors of homosexuality (such as Leviticus 20:13 and Leviticus 18:22). I attempted castration (seriously). I went to a Christian group that believed that chastity was the only answer for homosexual Christian men (and ended up getting abducted by one of the men and driven deep into the countryside and left there when I wouldn't sleep with him!). And I attempted giving up. Oh and I attempted exorcism (thanks to Derek Prince).

By the way for anyone who wishes to "label" me - I guess according to the world I am bisexual. But thank God according to the New Covenant - I am a son of God, co-heir with Jesus Christ, I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ, I am accepted, I am loved and God is crazy about me!!

B. Pete Day

Because of my background in church I used to struggle with the opinion that I am an "abomination" and am worthy of the death penalty until I met Pete Day. Many know how close we are but not many know how absolutely key this man was in saving my life. Pete and I met through a mutual friend and when that friend moved away, our friendship deepened thanks to common loves and passions like Dr Ern Baxter, the doctrine of Word and Spirit and a general longing for more of God. One January morning about 7 years ago Pete and I went to the famous Metropolitan Tabernacle Christian book sale and we sat in a McDonalds and I felt I trusted this man of God enough to make a full testimony of my past and my background and my struggles with attraction towards people of the same sex.

Pete responded in grace and acceptance and love - and that has never altered to this day. I have shared my failings (of which there are some) and I have shared my struggles and heartaches and remain accountable to him to this day. Pete and I spend a lot of time in prayer and in waiting on God when we meet and it was during one particularly powerful time that I suddenly felt the power of God fall upon me and I heard the audible voice of God say; "My grace is sufficient for you for My strength is made perfect in your weakness" and I felt God ask me to surrender my struggles to become "straight" into His hands. It was during that time while I was lying on the floor in Pete's office in the Spirit that I felt a commission to reach out to the homosexual community in the United Kingdom. I already had and have a number of gay friends - both men and women - and I felt the passion of God for them - the longing of God that they would receive His love.

C. Sovereign Grace Ministries

Some time ago my friend Janelle asked for a bit more information into my views on church discipline and I promised to give it. So here's a bit more context. I joined Grace Church Bristol some years ago and as had become habit to me I kept quiet about my past and my struggles. It was more awkward because Grace Church was a small church and I was the only single male in the church. Eyebrows were raised and the cliche; "Oh I am waiting for the right woman to come along" didn't always cut it. I managed there in membership somehow for 2 years however. It was incredibly difficult and a lonely time because as with most churches, the social life of the church was shaped around couples. And so because I was an "odd number" I didn't get invited out much. I went to see the senior pastor with the other single female in the church and we shared our unhappiness but nothing really came of that although he promised much.

Unfortuately I was to discover that years of "keeping a mask" on was having an effect. I was working as a childrens nurse and was accepted and appreciated for who I was there. My collegues and friends couldn't understand why I was so cut-up about who they thought I should be. The church however was a different matter and I began to struggle with depression and with self-harm. As I began to deteriorate I became increasingly desperate and my parents suggested I go and share my struggles with the church leaders (although my parents were not aware that the depression and self-harm was linked to my struggles with my sexuality).

Rather stupidly I did. There were only three meetings. The first meeting was gracious. The second was not and the third was my disfellowshipping from the church. Here is what happened. I made the leaders aware of my past and my present. I shared with them that I did have homosexual friends but that I was celibate and had been for some years. During the second meeting I was informed that my struggles with depression and self-harm were because they felt I was "lying" and was in fact NOT celibate and more particularly was having a sinful relationship with a dear friend of mine who is like a brother to me. While they admitted they had no evidence - it seems that the "feeling" of a Sovereign Grace leader is enough.

I was asked to do the following. 1. I had to move back in with my parents and make a full statement to them about my past. 2. I had to cut off contact with ALL non-Christian friends especially those who were homosexual. 3. I had to vow to attend every church service and care group without fail. If I fulfilled these ultimatums then they would help me with my depression and other struggles. If I did not ...

So I was given two weeks to consider this and went straight to London and consulted with Pete and we spent time praying and thinking through what to do. I came to the conclusion that I couldn't reconcile how biblically any pastor could make such demands of a church member. Particularly when it came into such conflict with my God-given commission that had come to me to reach the lost and hurting homosexual community. I couldn't imagine how I was to tell my friends that I was no longer able to have any contact them because the church had told them so - and how they would find this glorifying to the God I had been trying to interest them in.

So I went back after the two weeks and met with the pastors and informed them of my decision. I felt that to obey such ultimatums was to go against my conscience. They became angry and informed me that if I refused to obey then I would be "disfellowshipped". They would inform the church that I was banned from church services and care groups. They would also write to every other church in Bristol and would inform them that I was not to be accepted because I was in "unrepentant sin". Despite these threats I actually felt I had made the right decision rather than the wrong one and stuck to my decision and left the meeting. I know that many are afraid to leave their SGM church because of years of history, friendships, a social circle they would miss, awesome worship, or excellent preaching - I didn't have any of those restraints.

As I stated in an earlier blog I have been guilty of holding bitterness against these church leaders and I am truly sorry for that. I don't understand why they did what they did and I can't condone it from Scripture. To be told I was "being put out to Satan" was shocking and upsetting to me - I thought that Scripture only condoned this extreme and last resort decision in the case of gross immoral behaviour and blatent unrepentance. I had not been caught in any sin, or confessed to any such sin. It seemed to me this was all happening because of "a feeling" of the church leader. Thanks to the gracious work of the Holy Spirit over time I can now appreciate the sincerity of the church leaders in doing what I am sure they felt was right. I can appreciate their bravery in being prepared to make a hard decision and being prepared to be extremely unpopular. I still don't agree with it or them. But can appreciate it and know the blessed relief of "It is well with my soul".

D. The Present

This post (both Pete and I felt) had to be written because of a recent unpleasant incident which has acted as a catalyst to get this post written. We both felt that the Holy Spirit was desiring to use this to the best and maybe break down some walls of bigotry and ignorance within His Church. Furthermore I was amazed at how quickly "FEAR" began to attempt to control me again because of what happened in this incident. I was genuinely terrified that I was going to be "exposed" in public. So this post is a way of defeating that fear. I have told the truth here and therefore the fear has got nothing to grab hold of because there is nothing left to be revealed!

The incident was this - I am a reluctant member of Facebook and mainly use it as a method of storing my own photos. For my birthday in December I treated both myself and my friend to a luxurious stay in a hotel in Birmingham called "Malmaison". We enjoyed "deep tissue massages" - an experience in and of itself! - and generally had an amazing time! It was just what I needed after my trouble at work and re-occurance of depression. I put those photos on Facebook. I should add that I slept in the double bed and my friend slept on the sofa in the adjoining lounge.

I had a couple of messages on Facebook from an individual I know expressing concern at the photos. That person had examined the photos in detail and had come to some wrong conclusions about what happened (or might have happened) that weekend. (Ironically I spent the weekend with the same friend that I had been "commanded" to cut out of my life by the SGM leaders - so talk about deja vu!) Like the SGM leadership I can truly appreciate the sincerity of this individual and the bravery in wishing to address it knowing they would be unpopular. But like the SGM leadership the tone was accusatory at best and and the result was condemnation. And as Terry Virgo said; "Condemnation is a work of darkness - it doesn't work".

This person has accepted that their concerns are unfounded and apologised (unlike the SGM leaders who to my knowledge have never backed down and admitted they were wrong) - but there is a principle that concerns me. And it is this;

Just because I may have admitted that I struggle with "bisexual" feelings does NOT mean that every man I spend time with, I am living in sin with. Just as every heterosexual man who spends time with a woman is not necessarily living in sin with. I live in a flat with two other people and both are dear friends to me. But the thought of anything "more" .... ?!?! To use Sheila's now famous phrase; "Ack!!". I regularly go away with girl friends that I work with and are good friends with but the thought of anything "more"??!!? Ack!!

Both Pete and I agreed that everyone is liable to fall - but Galatians is clear - if we walk in the Spirit, we WILL NOT fulfill the lusts of the flesh! Todd Bentley's tragic fall proves that even a man deep in the anointing can be succeptible to fall.

But that FEAR of being tempted surely cannot stop us from taking the Gospel of grace to those who need it!

This friend who I love spending time with came to the Newfrontiers Leadership Conference in Brighton and experienced the prayer meeting as his FIRST experience of Christianity! He heard God speaking to him with words of love and acceptance and welcome and he still remembers that experience even though it was 4 years ago! Something happened and I fervently believe that "He who began a good work WILL complete it!".

E. The CHALLENGE

By and large homosexual people know that the Church don't approve of what they do and they think that the Church doesn't like them. And pretty much I am sad to say they are right. Scott and I happened to be at CCK in Brighton during the Gay Mardis Gras celebration and I was interested to see if it got a mention. It did - but not in a positive "let's go out and show them what REAL life and REAL celebration is like". So imagine my thrill, tears and joy when I was at the Glory and Grace Conference in Hong Kong and I heard Isi de Gersigny say this;

"I encourage people to sit on the front row with me because I am sick and tired of this front-row, second-row, third-row rubbish! I want PROSTITUTES sitting next to me! I want to reach the gays of Sydney! I want the kings and queens of Sydney's streets to be near me! I want to see chains break off! I want to see glory in people's eyes! I want them to see what I am seeing! Because He is more glorious than what people have made Him out to be! His eyes are like consuming fire that wraps around you and you will never be the same!".

There ARE true grace churches out there and it is my prayer that this positive, open love for homosexual people - both men and women - will spread like a brushfire. Because the challenge is this - unless the Church changes it's attitude then the homosexual community simply won't come. And even more definately won't listen to the church's message that what they do and who they love is wrong. I was impressed to consider Jesus Christ's attitude and behaviour when He dealt with the "untouchables" of His day.

The parable in Matthew 22 is interesting to consider - how would it compare to today? In Matthew 22:4 the king sent His servants to His guests saying that the banquet was ready. But they ignored Him and spurned His generosity and grace. Then (v9) is relevant here;

"Go therefore to the main highways, and as many as you find there, invite to the wedding feast".

I know that exegetically that applies to Israel rejecting the Messiah and the Gospel then being given to the Gentiles but it shows to me the Father heart of God. That the Gentiles were the unacceptable to the Jews and the Pharisees. They were called "dogs"! Does the Christian community really think of the homosexual community as much better? One of my main problems with Mark Driscoll was the offensive comments he has made about homosexuals. How is that demonstrating the love of God to the ends of the earth?

So in conclusion - our attitudes must change. I don't know if God will ever "make me straight". But what I do suspect that if I had grown up "straight" then I have no doubt I would have the same proud bigoted attitudes towards the homosexual community as those that I have experienced and that have hurt me so much. I am so grateful to God that He has chosen to allow me to be in this position - because maybe in a small way I can reach the lost and the hurting one by one and show the homosexual people that God loves them JUST AS MUCH as He does the respectable sinner who lusts in private or who lies and cheats. Sin is sin. And the respectable sins drove Jesus Christ to the Cross just as much as the homosexual. The homosexual person is just as in danger of falling as the proud man.

Let the fires of the grace of God sweep across the world from pole to pole and from sea to sea. Jesus Christ spread out His arms and said; "It is finished! Father forgive THEM!". And that is an inclusive statement to all that come to Him and receive His imputed righteousness!

A Prophetic Declaration for 2009 (I hope!)

I've had a mixed start to 2009 - some impending awful meetings, the prospect of weaning of anti-depressants, just general unpleasantness over the last few days really. I am battling that by repeating and re-telling myself the glorious wonder of my salvation and standing in the righteousness of Jesus Christ! Wow - never fails!

However I was interested to learn some theological tit(d)-bits from Terry Virgo's blog. Always exciting for a bibliophile like myself.

"It is particularly extraordinary to notice that three commentaries on the book of Galatians will be published this year – one by D A Carson, one by Thomas Schreiner and one by Douglas Moo. One can hardly wait!".

But the best statement that I have read came next. Terry Virgo is a recognised prophet and I pray - pray - pray that this statement is PROPHETIC for 2009! Here it is;

"This should be a hard year for legalists!".

Let it be so! Every bone in my body aches so!

A Song of Sonship ...

The last couple of blog posts have quite coincidentally been about the issue of sonship. It was a coincidence particularly as the sermon I have been transcribing of Rob's over New Year has been: "Sonship vs Christianity". My prayer at the end of 2008 was that a kingdom of sons would rise up to change the world. Thanks to Jonathan Edwards I have been reading and basking in a series of quotes that have drawn attention again and again to the spirit of sonship we have received.

There is an absolutely perfect song of worship that couldn't sum this up better. It is the hymn; "Before the Throne of God" and couldn't have been sung more perfectly than at Stoneleigh Bible Week in 1998 and led by Lou Fellingham. Fortunately that year they captured the worship on video so can be replayed here. The one line of the song that keeps on replaying round my mind is;

"For God the Just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me".

How better can the gospel be summed up!? Here are the videos - I had to split them up because the song is a bit long! But well worth it! May they exceedingly bless;







When I look at the faces of the gathered thousands at Stoneleigh, it seems to me that mankind is never more glorious than when he is worshipping his Maker, his Lord and his Father.

Convicted of Righteousness - a good thing?

There's a very interesting discussion going on over at Mark Heath's website; "Word and Spirit". Interestingly enough he has pulled a verse up for examination that until last October caused me enormous guilt problems and then at "Glory and Grace" in Hong Kong, I saw it in a new light and then caused me wonderful joy! The verse is John 16:8-11;

"And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: Of sin, because they believe not on me; Of righteousness, because I go to my Father, and ye see me no more; Of judgment, because the prince of this world is judged".

So at my home church - New Covenant Church in Dunstable - when things were taking a slightly sour cessationist downturn, this verse was regularly used to brow-beat the people of God into showing that the Holy Spirit is given mainly to "CONVICT"! Not to do fun, exciting things like distribute spiritual gifts. And the dangerous mix of Old and New Covenant law and grace was then subtly applied to suggest that if we were not humbly desperately feeling bad about our sin then the Holy Spirit was not really and truly at work within us. Seriously. I have an old church magazine in my possession where the editorial said that the gift of tongues is a SELFISH gift (well if it's selfish to want to build yourself up in the faith by talking in tongues and following the example of the apostle Paul - then gimme more!)

Anyway - so as I said I never really liked this verse until I heard Rob Rufus preach and expound it in his sermon on the Holy Spirit, the Sunday after "Glory and Grace" on the 28th October. He showed that while part of the role of the Holy Spirit is to show the world that they are sinners and need a Saviour - the part of His role towards us is to actually show us and convict us that we ARE righteous and that we HAVE the imputed righteousness of God! Rob asked the question - if we have received "all the fullness of Christ", why would the Holy Spirit come and point out gaps where we need to add works to Christ's finished work? That would suggest that the Cross was somehow defective - and it got us in but hasn't finished us off. And that is blasphemous.

So with that mixed history with this verse I was interested to read Mark's post; "Convicted of Righteousness" and see that he too has been visiting commentaries and examining what this verse means. Typically of Mark's careful scholarship and love of reading he examines commentaries which was helpful - only I was disappointed with Don Carson's usually honest examination of the text. Apparantly Carson thought that the verse had something to do with; "the Spirit is simply continuing an important aspect of the ministry of Jesus, confronting and challenging religious hypocrisy". Hmm ... not convinced!

I left an inital comment mainly because I have been reading Jonathan Edwards "Notes on Scripture" - my new Christmas present! - and was excited to see how similar some of Jonathan Edwards conclusions on law and grace are to Rob Rufus's. So I left a comment with a quote of Edwards I found on Galatians 5:18 that I posted a few days ago. My good friend Julie left a concise and helpful comment too saying;

"Keeping that in mind the interpretation you bring up would make no sense, but that the job of the Holy Spirit is to convince believers of their righteousness in Jesus would be very consistent with the rest of Scripture in the New Covenant".

This is important - it's not so much a case of finding the writer or teacher that best supports your view but examining the explanation that is most consistent with the New Covenant! Julie also had a vital comment on how we view sin in New Covenant life;

"I think you have given a rather old covenant definition of sin, thinking it is primarily bad behaviour. New covenenant definition of sin is unbelief (which could lead to bad behaviour), concerning what we believe about God and how righteousness is obtained".

Last night I was continuing to read Jonathan Edwards and was thrilled to find his exact comment on the verse in question and Edwards wrote this;

"On John 16:8-11;

And when the Comforter has come, He will convince the world of sin, of righteousness, of judgement. He shall convict the world of sin as men must be convinced of their guilt in order to receive Christ. That is the reason that sin and guilt lie upon them because they believe not on Christ and their rejecting Christ above all things enhances their guilt".

(Here it is:)

“Of righteousness” - that is He will convict them of the sufficiency of Christ’s righteousness of the way of REMOVING guilt by Him. Christ finished His work as priest, or what He did for the removing of guilt by His ascending into heaven, His entering into the holiest of all with His own blood to make intercession for us and thereby GAVE EVIDENCE TO THE WORLD THAT WHAT HE HAD DONE WAS ENOUGH”.

That is such good news! Evidence has been given to the world by the fact that Jesus Christ sat down at the right hand of the Father and poured out the Holy Spirit that what He has done is ENOUGH! The Cross of Jesus Christ is entirely 100% sufficient! There is not a gap left to be filled by "our works". Our works can do NOTHING! Our acts achieve NOTHING with the Father! God is only ever and always interested in the perfect righteousness of His Son! Only that - ONLY that will give us bold access to the Father! So yes in a sense my former church was partially right. The Holy Spirit isn't just about tongues and prophecy. His key work is to come into us as a Spirit of sonship and give us assurance that we are accepted in the beloved and He will convict us when doubt and fear set in that we are sons and that Christ's righteousness is accepted - God the just is satisfied!

Okay - I am getting excitable and shouting. Deep breaths! ...

Jonathan Edwards on the Reality of the Spirit

Another quote from the great Jonathan Edwards and his "Notes on Scripture". Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones - while professing a great respect for the Puritans of the 17th century said that he preferred Jonathan Edwards because he felt that Edwards was more "experimental" in his theology than John Owen, Thomas Goodwin and so on. Reading a quote like this makes it clear why Dr Lloyd-Jones felt so.

Edwards was commenting on Hebrews 6:4-6.

"Tis not probable that they should have the Holy Ghost dwelling in them with respect to His miraculous influences and not feel anything of the power of it in their souls.

When the Holy Ghost was given them, they felt His Presence not only outwardly but inwardly, not only in their understanding but also affections.

They experienced the powers of the age to come, that is of the invisible world, felt the powers of the invisible agents of that world upon their minds. Tis certain none exercised miraculous gifts without extrordinary influence of the Spirit of God to convince their judgement".

Now ... it's been a while since I have mentioned the whole issue of the baptism of the Holy Spirit. For those who have been following this blog for a while - you will know that my church history brought about a personal and wider interest in this whole issue. Briefly - my home church was traditionally charismatic - but maintained a healthy balance between Word and Spirit (although I realise now that there was a dangerous mix also of law and grace). We were involved deeply with the Dales Bible Weeks and went to the Downs Bible Weeks before setting up our own Bible Week.

Church was an EXCITING place to be! Even I remember that as a child. I still remember when it was a communion service the pastor and elders would simply sit down and wait for the Holy Spirit to move throughout the congregation and inspire prophetic words or tongues. I found it almost nerve-wracking wondering what would happen. There was frequently times of testimony after the church had been away to the Bible Weeks where Ern Baxter was often the main speaker - and it was guaranteed that you would hear people testifying to how they had been baptised in the Holy Spirit.

Then everything changed. And not for the better. The key moment seemed to be when the senior pastor brought out a booklet announcing that he had decided to change his mind on the baptism of the Spirit. He had taught that it was a distinct experience that Jesus Christ poured out on believers. Now he was teaching that it was something that happened automatically and non-experientially at conversion. The trouble was that this happened in 1997. Just before he brought out that booklet I had gone to university and heard a sermon asking "Had I received when I believed?".

I became a Christian 10 years before in 1987 at a church crusade in Dunstable called; "Life with Purpose". An evangelist called Don Summers had preached a message and I was convicted and knew I had not come to a personal encounter with Jesus Christ Himself. However I never received "anyone" in experience and in power. It was a cerebral decision and there was no accompanying experience other than fear - because I had to go up the front to respond! So hearing this sermon at university convinced me and I went up the front again and had hands laid on me and received the baptism of the Spirit in power. About a week later I started speaking with tongues in the shower - of all places!

So when I read this booklet I was incredibly disturbed and upset. I was being told by a pastor I had the most respect for that what happened to me was not real. I knew from my experience that it most certainly WAS real! But I went to the Scripture and began looking through books to try and find out what was going on. I have John Piper to thank for putting me onto Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones. I read his message to the Bethlehem Conference for Pastors: "A Passion for Christ-Exalting Power" and learned it wasn't just mad charismatics who believed in this! Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones had preached a series of sermons on John 1 which was later put into an outstanding book called "Joy Unspeakable".

Dr Lloyd-Jones persuaded me - and no one has ever even come close to "un-persuading" me. One of the key issues for me is this - the original Jonathan Edwards quote.

"Tis not probable that they should have the Holy Ghost dwelling in them with respect to His miraculous influences and not feel anything of the power of it in their souls".

How can it be? The Bible describes the baptism of the Holy Spirit in such glorious terms. I wouldn't be quite as definitive as many Pentecostals in insisting that the baptism of the Spirit ALWAYS has to be accompanied by the gift of tongues - but I certainly do think that the book of Acts suggests that something outward will happen at this event - whether it be tongues, prophesying, a word of knowledge, visions. I realise that many of those teachers (such as my former pastor) who deny this insist and take pride in the fact that they are "men of the Word". But it just simply doesn't tie up for me.

HOW can this EVER be an event that is NON-experiential?!

I will close with one of my favourite Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones quotes where he addresses such men who teach this;

"There is nothing, I am convinced, that so ‘quenches’ the Spirit as the teaching which identifies the baptism of the Holy Ghost with regeneration. But it is a very commonly held teaching today, indeed it has been the popular view for many years. It is said that the baptism of the Holy Spirit is ‘nonexperimental’, that it happens to every one at regeneration.

So we say, ‘Ah well, I am already baptized with the Spirit; it happened when I was born again, at my conversion; there is nothing for me to seek, I have got it all’. Got it all? Well, if you have ‘got it all’, I simply ask in the Name of God, why are you as you are? If you have ‘got it all’, why are you so unlike the Apostles, why are you so unlike the New Testament Christians?".

Sounds Familiar?? On Sonship.

Being a person of extremes - it's usually no secret to anyone who comes within a 10 mile radius of the people that I love and the people that I ... well, don't. So I am also aware that my enthusiastic love of Rob Rufus and his ministry from Hong Kong will be no secret to anyone - whatever their opinions on Rob himself and the varied opinions on whether Rob has taken grace "too far" or not. Well I was at work last night and was reading a book (I won't tell you what it was until you have read the quote). Read it, and consider how similar it is to Rob himself and other grace teachers such as Terry Virgo and then see who said it.

It's a quote inspired by Galatians 5:18: "But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law" and here it is:

"Laws aren't made for children and for intimate and dear friends but for servants. A being under law in the more ordinary use of the expression among the apostles was inconsistent with liberty.

Why is it said; "If you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law" and what is the connection between being led by the Spirit and not being under the law? The connection consists in two things:

1. As this evidences their not being under law.

Their being led by the Spirit is an evidence of their being in Christ who has fulfilled the law and delivered them from it ... children aren't under law as servants.

2. It renders them not proper subjects of the law.

A being led by the Spirit is a thing that causes that alteration with respect to them that renders them unapt to be subjects of law.

a. By their having the Spirit given them, they are advanced to that state that they don't agree with a state of subjection to the law (2 Corinthians 3:17).

Being sons it is suitable that they should be dealt with after another manner - to hold them under law is to treat them as servants (2 Corinthians 2:6, 7); "thou art no more a servant but a son".

b. The Spirit of Christ in Christians or spirit of adoption actuating and leading is a principle that supercedes the law and sets them ABOVE the law. The law obliges to no other things but what the Spirit inclines to and is sufficient for ...

The Spirit is better than the letter.

They that have the Spirit of Christ in them have the law written in their hearts according to God's promise. The Spirit of Christ is superior to the law and sets a person above subjection to the law because it is a principle that is superior to a legal principle.

The Spirit of adoption evidences to them their being the children of God and begets that trust and assurance that renders them incapable of a legal principle (Romans 8:15-16).

Note this point in particular!:

"If a person has not that legal principle or principle of fear, he has not that principle that the law which exacts obedience was made to influence and work upon and therefore is not a proper subject of law because being destitute of that principle, the law takes no hold of him for it finds no principle in him to take hold by.

A being led by the Spirit of the Son of God as a spirit of adoption is inconsistent with a state of bondage, as sonship is inconsistent with servitude".

I hope that quote is understandable to everyone. What is being said is that fear (the legal principle that was the law's strength) and the Spirit of adoption is totally and utterly inconsistent. It sounds too good to be true but essentially the argument is this - if we are sons then we are co-heirs with Jesus Christ and therefore we are above the law. I can hear heresy-alarms going off straight away! But it's there in the Bible - we are no more servants but sons!

You may have probably guessed that the author of this quote is indeed Jonathan Edwards and the quote itself is taken from my new "Notes on Scripture". But what particularly interested me and excited me was the paralell between this comment and the sermon of Rob's I've been transcribing for him: "Sonship vs Christianity". Rob spent a lot of time showing that "fear" (or as Jonathan Edwards called it; the legal principle) is the power of law. He said this;

"Sons have a spirit from the Father in them so they will never fear again. What is the fear? The fear that the Father will abandon me because I've sinned and made mistakes ... the fear that the Father is not able to supply me with what I need because I am not good enough and I am not holy enough so I will be rejected. Sons are led by a spirit that will never put them in fear again!

The whole purpose of the law was to point out your faults, point out how wrong you were, point out what you should be doing and that you will be judged and rejected by God under that law ... the Holy Spirit didn't come to replace that and just carry on making you feel bad - no! The Holy Spirit came to totally remove the law and to show you that you are a son and that if you live in the Spirit not circumstances ... then you are walking in a spirit that will never make you a slave to fear again!".

How awesomely similar is that? My whole point in juxta-posing these two quotes is not to find a defence for Rob Rufus. Rob is merely preaching a message. My excitement is that Jonathan Edwards read this Scripture hundreds of years ago and came to the same revelation that Rob has come to. That the law attempted to exact obedience by fear - fear of consequences if it was not kept to the letter. But we now who are in the New Covenant have received a Spirit of adoption. We are SONS!

What earthly father would run his household using fear to exact obedience? What earthly father would use the threat that if he was not obeyed then he would "disfellowship" the son from his household? It just wouldn't happen surely. Just so with our heavenly Daddy! Now we are sons, we have His Spirit within us crying out "Abba!" and He too will NOT use fear to attempt to exact obedience. Later on in the quote, Jonathan Edwards goes on to say that the Father wants obedience from a joyful and willing heart. Let me repeat one of the first things Edwards said because I love it so much;

"Laws aren't made for children and for intimate and dear friends but for servants ... the Spirit is better than the letter ... A being led by the Spirit of the Son of God as a spirit of adoption is inconsistent with a state of bondage, as sonship is inconsistent with servitude".

My AWESOME Christmas Present!!

This Christmas I found myself utterly blessed beyond words at the love and care of my family. We had a wonderful Boxing Day together and I wish it could have been longer only I had to come back to work. However in particular my Mum and Dad came up utterly trumps at the present they blessed me with. It's a Bowen family tradition that we make "wish lists" in the months leading up to Christmas to give my large family a range of ideas about what we would ideally like for Christmas! It's my habit to usually try and put a complete range of ideas - from the ridiculously expensive (that I never expect to get) to the dirt cheap - and one of the ridiculously expensive ideas that I asked for was Jonathan Edwards "Notes on Scripture" book - Volume 15 in the Yale edition.

My mum brought out my final present on Boxing Day and gave it to me. I discerned in the Spirit that it was a glory-filled hardback book - but NEVER dreamed it would be my hearts desire! I was thrilled therefore to open it and find it was! My parents are wonderful! As were all the other kind and generous presents my family gave me. One of the most quirky was probably my lovely sister and brother-in-law's present - a Gollum cookie jar! But back to Edwards.

Some may remember that when Pete and I visited the Evangelical Library last year - I spent the majority of my time reading the "Notes on Scripture" and seeking Edwards opinion particularly on the Song of Solomon and how it compared to C J Mahaney's rather odd views expressed in "Sex, Romance and the Glory of God". I fell in love with the book then and the Bible-saturated thoughts of Jonathan Edwards so it has been an awesome joy to begin reading. Here's some background to what the book actually is about. The Editor wrote;

"A young Jonathan Edwards penned the following private resolution in the closing months of 1722 ... "Resolved: to study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently as that I may find and plainly perceive myself to grow in knowledge of the same".

Edwards was honest enough to see through any pride he had and noted at one point in his "Diary";

"... he chided himself for having "lost that relish of the Scriptures" that he had known earlier".

So these three volumes that I am now blessed enough to have - "Notes on Scripture" and the two "Blank Bibles" - are no mere academic volumes. They come from the personal pen of a man who desired to know the Scriptures for through them he would know his God better. They are books that when read - one cannot help but catch something of that passion.

Here is how the Editors describe concisely what "Notes on Scripture";

"Notes on Scripture" (is a) biblical commentary that includes more than five hundred numbered entries ... the last entry in the series - No. 507 - was written approximately two years before his death in 1758 and is a lengthy comparison between Canticles and Psalm 45 ... "Notes on Scripture" is a private working notebook in which Edwards recorded exegetical ideas, took notes on his reading and developed select theological themes ... At first glance "Notes on Scripture" appears to have little organizational coherence or thematic integration. Edwards made no attempt to survey all parts of Scripture; the entries move randomly among the books of the Bible.

"Notes on Scripture" documents his consuming interest in typology, a traditional method of biblical interpretation that links the Old and New Testament ... "Notes on Scripture" represents only a portion of Edwards extensive exegetical writings, for through the years he also wrote entries interpreting the Bible in several other manuscripts".

So there are some more general introductory statements by the editor as to the purpose of "Notes on Scripture". Let me comment on some more specific and direct statements. One of my favourite Books of the Bible (hence the reason why I defend it so vigorously against people such as C J Mahaney) is of course the Song of Solomon. The editoral comment states;

"He (Edwards) rejected the suggestion that Canticles was "an ordinary love song" by treating the affection between the biblical lovers as a "shadow of the love, union and communion" between Christ and the Church (No. 147) and by linking typologically the spouse in the Song of Solomon and the "tents of Kedar" (SoS 1:5) with the Church (No. 458)".

It should be noted of course that Edwards did not compile the "Notes on Scripture" primarily as his own writings alone. He did read widely and used such reading to aid his insights into Scripture. The editorial team at Yale write;

"Edwards' reading was a primary element in his method of study. In "Notes on Scripture" he cited forty different identifiable sources. More than a hundred entries include quoted or paraphrased materials for which Edwards lists a source ... "Notes on Scripture" situates Edwards firmly in the exegetical world of the eighteenth century. The variety of the sources in "Notes on Scripture" is instructive in other ways as well ... the sources Edwards used are impressive for the scope of their subject matter, the variety of ancient references and the sophistication of the linguistic arguments. They are filled with Latin, Greek and Hebrew citations, many of which he entered into "Notes on Scripture".

The picture shows the original manuscripts. As with the "Blank Bible" Edwards constructed them himself. There is an interesting note that he made to himself for future construction;

If I live to make another book of this sort, to observe to cut the gashes for the stitching in deeper and not so near to the joinings of the stitch, that the book may open more freely and fully. And let the sheets be divided into twice so small divisions, and starch no paper in a paper cover for that makes it crack. And if that don't do try next stitching the backs of all the divisions of sheets to a slip of leather and sew the cover over the leather".

The editors conclude that "Notes on Scripture" provides a fresh view of a critical component in the intellectual and theological world view of Edwards. It essentially explains and provides a context to the massive writings of Jonathan Edwards and I hope in the coming days and weeks to provide some quotes! Oh that present pastors and teachers, apostles and prophets would have the same vision - to commit the revelations and anointings to paper thus preserving it for generations to come.

Dr Ern Baxter on Jesus' Ultimate Victory

I was listening to a sermon by Dr Ern Baxter while driving back from Brighton last night. It was part of a conference series he gave at Bishop Earl Paulk's church in Atlanta called "The King, the Kingdom and the Holy Spirit". It's a comment on how we view where Jesus Christ is today as so important to the way we live our lives;

"I don't see Jesus Christ as a baby lying helpless in a manager. I don't see Jesus as walking the land of Israel limited by location. I don't even see Jesus walking on the water or performing miracles. I don't see Jesus broken and bleeding and dying on the Cross - I see the Cross as an event on the way to His ultimate place. I see Jesus crowned with glory and honour - ruling the nations in victory!".

It occured to me that John Bunyan may have a point in how he wrote 'Pilgrims Progress'. Remember that Pilgrim met the Cross early on in his journey towards the Celestial City and it truly was an event. It was there that his burden fell off and rolled down into the open and empty grave. Pilgrims life was indeed changed by his encounter at the Cross but he rose up and walked on. It was at the Celestial City that he would meet the Lord Jesus Christ. And just so with us. Jesus died once and for all - we will never again see Him hanging at Calvary. When we see Him finally on that glorious day we will see Him crowned with glory and honour seated at the right hand of God the Father! Let's pray that the eyes of our hearts be opened to get a glimpse of that now - that the heavens split like Stephen and we see Him!

Emmanuel - God WITH US!!

Most bloggers tend to customarily write something especially on Christmas Day. Some thanks to readers usually. Maybe some plans for the future - to continue to blog or not. Maybe a reflection on the past (although that's often more New Years Day). It's very strange. Some of my parent's generation still can't get their head round blogging and find the words of a post as objective as a published book - but already we are talking about the "customs" of blogging! How quickly does the world develop!

I wasn't going to write anything necessarily unless I really felt inspired to. I don't like following customs very much - and I must confess I don't particularly like Christmas Day because I think a lot of sight has been lost about the true meaning of the day. I heard an early sermon by my former pastor Dr Stanley Jebb and he commented how little Easter Sunday and the celebration of the Resurrection - the most glorious moment of all history - is celebrated compared to Christmas.

But my attention was caught by the sermon Rob Rufus preached in Hong Kong last Sunday:

"Emmanuel - God With Us"

I must confess I haven't heard the sermon yet. I'm currently taken up with transcribing and rapturing in the previous message to the CCI prayer meeting: "Pulling Heaven Down". Once again Rob reminds me so much of my hero Dr Ern Baxter! It's so thrilling.

But that matter aside - it was just that simple statement: "God WITH US" that has had me thinking all this Christmas Day. The theme of God being with man is present throughout the whole Bible. God walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day in the Garden of Eden. The crowning moment of glory at the Tabernacle was when the cloud of glory filled the Holy of Holies. And again in Solomon's temple - when the preparations were complete, the cloud of glory filled the place so that the priests could not continue ministering! God was with us!

And then in the New Testament - on Christmas Day - the birth of Jesus Christ, He was called "Emmanuel" - God with us! But that wasn't even it - God was not finished pouring out His Presence upon man. On the Day of Pentecost the Holy Spirit was poured out on all flesh and still is poured out to this day! God is WITH us! If I have one wish and one desire as we advance into 2009 is that I will stop thinking like a Christian and live in spiritual schizophrenia that one day God may be pleased with me due to my good works and the next angry with me due to my mistakes and my flaws.

My wish is that rather I will start living like a son and realise that God is with man. God has shown faithfully throughout His Word that despite man's sin - His desire is to walk with man and commune with man and have relationship with man! And to realise that as His son, His heart will never change towards me! I do sincerely thank from the bottom of my heart each and every person who reads this blog and takes time especially to comment and support and encourage me. I feel so blessed and it's my prayer that 2009 sees a greater advance of the Kingdom of God - as a Kingdom of sons than ever before!

THAT'S The Kind of Pastor I want!!

The last 2 or 3 posts have been related and have spiralled from a Christmas newsletter I read back at my parents house. The comment that prompted this pattern of thought was directed towards Todd Bentley and; "his fall from grace". I hope I dealt adequately with how I do not believe that the term "fall from grace" can be biblically applied to anything or anyone other than individuals who have begun in the Spirit and by grace and have stepped back into law and are attempting to achieve some sort of standing before God by their own works. I just can't see it! My US friend Janelle Phillips has raised the question of church discipline and it is a post that is currently being written by both Pete Day and myself. She rightly noted that I didn't comment on church discipline in the most positive light - and the question therefore remainds - do I believe in it?

Well the Bible does - and therefore I do. But the way that current churches practice discipline does not greatly impress me - it seems to be done in legalism and from a desire to control rather than "gently restore". But before we finish that post - I wanted to make draw attention to Bill Johnson and the way he has made comments about Todd Bentley. It was after-all a comment about Todd Bentley that started this train of thought so it is well within context.

What is no secret is the Todd Bentley-haters who disapprove of the man and his ministry - we all know what they believe. They haven't stopped calling for his blood since he first walked on stage - tattoos and all. I am sad to admit that I think this moral fall was exactly what they were hoping for. A comment about Bill Johnson made by one of his fellow pastors caught my attention. Kris Vallotton said:

"The only trouble I have seen Bill in, in 31 years is when he refuses to treat people the way they deserve and he believes in them the way they don't deserve. And then when they fall, he refuses to treat them the way that their fall requires and he wants to believe in them again".

That impressed me! My first thought was: "THAT is the kind of pastor I want .. and have never had". A kind of spiritual father who acts like God Himself and refuses to treat people the way they deserve and in the style of 1 Corinthians 13:5 takes no record of wrongs. So here is what Bill Johnson said regarding Todd Bentley - it's in 3 parts:







It's well worth watching in entirety. I think the teaching component is awesome for everyone who has some form of responsibility in their churches - this is how a Christian CAN be dealt with. Why do so often we take it so personally if fellow Christians fall? I must admit my first reaction when I heard about Todd Bentley was "Oh no ...". Did that mean I was wrong to be hugely interested in Lakeland and what happened there? Not at all! I've heard and seen enough by way of testimony from personal friends and over the God TV to know that God was most certainly at work!

Todd Bentley certainly isn't the first Christian leader to fall into sin and do so publicly and I am sure he won't be the last. The thing that I am considering is this: what brings more glory to God and His Church? Christians gathering like vultures nodding their sage heads and saying; "Ah well - he had tattoos and piercings - what do you expect?". Or Christians who stand up like Bill Johson and weep over their brothers and sisters falls and yet KEEP on believing in them and are prepared to do WHATEVER it takes to see them restored to full fellowship and encounter with God?

Let me take a moment to comment personally. Pete's recent wonderful post: "Just get over it?" made some reference to my personal experience with church discipline. I haven't made a secret that I still believe that those particular church leaders were wrong and unbiblical to act the way they did. But I think God has brought me on far enough since then to appreciate what they did do - that they were courageous enough to attempt to do something they surely knew would be unpopular but because they believed it was right. I can see now that they did what they did because they were honestly concerned. But genuine motives can't be an excuse forever.

Bill Johnson sets an awesome example of what it is to be a real pastor - a real spiritual father. Let's learn and follow!

Dr Lloyd-Jones on Imputed Righteousness

I've been reading this wonderful last volume in Dr Lloyd-Jones series in Romans - that I got for my birthday - and was amazed to read his commentary on Romans 14:7; "The Kingdom of God ... is righteousness, peace and joy". His comments on "righteousness" are right at the end of the volume and they are so similar to Rob Rufus's wonderful teaching on righteousness that one might almost think that they are the same people.

I don't know why but I always feel like Christianity sees Rob Rufus as a bit of an "extrem-ist". That his teaching on New Covenant grace is "dangerous" and nigh-on antinomian. I am sure that Rob himself receives far more vicious attacks than I can even dream of from Christians. But what shouldn't really shock me is that Rob is so careful to unpack his teaching from the New Testament and yet why are those of us who he has persuaded on grace feeling like we have to defend ourselves?

Listen to this selection of quotes from Dr Lloyd-Jones:

"Christians are people who have been declared righteous by God, who know that justification is by faith only, and that God 'justifieth the ungodly' (Romans 4:5). They believe all Paul's arguments in the first five chapters of Romans. This is how Christians think of righteousness; not little details here and there but this whole matter of their standing before God and the declaration of God that He "accounts" them as righteous".

Twice Dr Lloyd-Jones mentions the "declaration" of God. We - formerly sinners - have been "declared" righteous! So why are Christians so generally unaware of this "declaration"? If we had to go through the gruelling experience of being in court but yet hearing the exhilaration of the judge declaring - "Not guilty!". Surely we would remember that moment for the rest of our lives? Yet here God the Just - the ruler of heaven and earth - has declared the same - "Not guilty!". So WHY does most of Christianity act as if we are?

Dr Lloyd-Jones goes on to add that it is not just a "declaration" but that we are "clothed".

"Not only that, Christians believe that they have been clothed with the righteousness of Jesus Christ, that God has put this "robe of righteousness upon them" (Isaiah 61:10). They know they have been born again, 'born of the Spirit'. They now belong to the realm of righteousness, whereas before they did not".

So when God looks at us - He sees us as clothed in Jesus Christ's righteousness and there is none more perfect or acceptable than the Son of God! Now most Christians would say they do not have a problem with the justification issue. Most will accept and admit that we are justified by faith and when we accept Christ as our Saviour, we are indeed clothed in His righteousness. It seems to me that the problem comes when we talk about sanctification.

That's when the law seems to creep in along with discussions about spiritual disciplines, attempts to be "more righteous", the whole issue of indwelling sin and the "old man". Dr Lloyd-Jones makes an excellent point on this matter:

"Here is a man who has a conception of righteousness; he wants to be rid of everything that is wrong; he wants to be wholly right, he is interested in holiness".

That is Rob Rufus's key point when it comes to sanctification and it seems to me that's where the issue of divide comes. Many Christians who criticise Rob Rufus and the danger of "a license to sin" seem to be of the opinion that Christians by and large want to sin. Or more often - "My old man wants to sin". But Dr Lloyd-Jones insists that a man who has a conception of righteousness "wants" to be rid of everything that is wrong! He "wants" to be wholly right!

I have to say for myself - I am by far from being perfect. I sin and fall and make mistakes pretty regularly. I've been a first-class legalist and tried all manner of things to "stop sinning" - even to the extent of cutting myself (rather like the priests of Baal), going to self-help Christian groups and talking about how hard it is. But nothing has worked! Yet despite all that - I have always, ALWAYS had the deep agony that I want to be rid of everything that is wrong. I WANT to be right! So this quote of Dr Lloyd-Jones is a huge encouragement to me. I am clothed in the righteousness of Jesus Christ because I want to be rid of sin!

I find Lloyd-Jones final comment quite interesting and am not quite sure what to make of it:

"Do you see the point? The righteous are unconcious of their righteousness. That is the glory of their whole position. I trust I am making this clear to you. Christians are righteous in themselves because they have been brought into the kingdom of God and the realm of righteousness".

I'm thinking aloud here. If we went and spoke to non-Christians and asked; "Are you aware that you are unrighteous?" - I wonder what they would say. Unrighteousness of course is a Christian term. But if we explained the concept as clearly as Christians seek to understand righteousness - would they really be "concious" of the daily experience of being unrighteous and far from God? I doubt it. So does it make sense that we too as Christians are unaware of our righteousness? Thinking of the Old Covenant foresights - the blood on the outside of the house in the land of Egypt - was on the OUTSIDE. I am sure the Israelites wondered if the blood would suffice as the angel of death passed over. But the blood was on the outside - just as the righteousness we are clothed in, is on the OUTSIDE.

I hope that these quotes bring a degree of amazing authenticity to what Rob Rufus is saying and preaching. He isn't just some radical who is trying to bring license to sin. Rob is a serious man with a serious heart for the Church world-wide. And his vision is that if we would understand our true standing clothed in the righteousness of God then we would see it as a dramatic step. Rob said this in a recent sermon:

"The devil is not attacking us for the grace message - he's attacking us for where the grace message will take us. He understands that the revelation of grace is the access into the 10/10 glory. Out of the control spirit. Out of guilt. Out of condemnation, fear, rejection and into a constant sense of God is for us, no matter what".

Let's make every effort to be Berean-like and not dismiss teaching just because it disagrees with our experience of the past. Our one unifying heart - across the world - is that we become more like God. Surely our interest must be the best and most biblical way to do that! And while I know that Dr Lloyd-Jones and Rob Rufus may disagree on many issues - I am so thrilled that here on this most important of issues, they stand as one!

The Greatest Motivation for Sanctification - A Smack? Or a Tear?

Following on from yesterdays post - I was driving back up to Birmingham (about an hour and a half drive for those friends who don't live in the UK!) from my parents and was thinking quite a lot about this question: "Fallen from grace" and particularly Todd Bentley as he was mentioned in this Christmas newsletter as apparantly "falling from grace". I have no doubt that some will accuse me of suggesting that what Todd has done is acceptable. I never said that - and have no intention of ever suggesting that sin is still sin.

What I am interested in is not discussing the men and women who have fallen morally and how "dreadful" it is. My sins of pride, arrogance, hate, legalism, lying and so on are just as grieving to God as Todd Bentley's sin. What I AM interested in is this: what is the most EFFECTIVE way of following the verse in Galatians and "restoring such a one gently"?

The question was in part answered as I had the wonderful Stoneleigh album: "Covenant of Grace" - live worship from Stoneleigh Bible Week 1999 - blasting out as I drove up in the dark! There's a wonderful song on it that the fantastically talented Kate Simmonds was leading the gathered thousands in called: "Jesus loves the Church (Can you hear Him singing?)" and the one line that answered my question went like this:

"Not rejected, not forgotten, not abandoned in sin! Can you hear Him singing? I love you - I love you - Can you hear Him calling? I want you - I have chosen you to be Mine".

It reminded me of my experience growing up as a child with my earthly father. My parents believed in and were taught by Stanley Jebb at our church that corporal discipline was a godly practice to do. We were spanked as children - quite vigorously. Speaking as a child who was spanked I can't say that I disagree with it. It taught me respect for authority. Where I do perhaps differ from my parents and the church is that they delegated the authority to spank a child to the teachers in the Christian school I went to - and so I also experienced that from the teachers. That I DO disagree with. I had a profoundly negative relationship especially with the deputy headmaster and I believe it was linked to the fact that I felt he was doing things that only my parents should such as corporal discipline. But that's an aside.

But despite being spanked numerous times by my father (yes - I was a wild child!) and by the school, the one experience that sticks in my mind was when I had a disagreement with my father about something and I actually saw him cry and state his love for me. It is that experience that spoke to me far more strongly than the amount of times I was spanked. Because I realised through those tears how much my father did love me.

Christians who use the term "fallen from grace" - I am certain - would see Christians who have fallen morally as in need of severe discipline. I know that the person who wrote the Christmas letter mentioning Todd Bentley is of the view that once Christian leaders have fallen morally just once - they are "disqualified" for ministry ever again. It's a very similar view to my experience of church discipline. Rather than ever hearing talk of "restoring such a one gently" - I heard the term "disfellowshipped" being used regularly.

My point is this: I think that it is an experience of hearing the Father singing: "I love you - I love you - I have chosen you to be Mine - you are NOT abandoned in sin" will work far more powerfully than the discipline and the disfellowshipping and the disqualification that Christians seek to apply to their fellow brothers and sisters.

Or as Sheila commented so rightly in my last post - surely this is "falling into grace" when you sin morally. I may not be able to testify much in my experience to "falling into grace" because my background has been far more characterised by legalism. But I CAN speak about how it feels to be struggling with sinful practices and have the Church apply the sanctions that they do. And I can tell you honestly - it doesn't work. I've been spanked as a child and yes it hurts. But sin is far more fun. I've been told off and spanked by teachers and church elders and it hurts - but it just made me bitter and angry and resentful.

But seeing my earthly father cry and tell me he loved me? That broke my heart. And I imagine if I could get a sense of my heavenly Father singing that He loves me and has chosen me and has not abandoned me in sin - then that would even more powerfully surely even break the hardest of hearts! Look at the Cross - that historical moment in time when the Son of God was hung up. The wrath of God was poured out upon HIM! And was there any anger in His eyes? Was there any vengance in Him against us for causing Him to have to suffer the agonies of Calvary? No. Rather He cried:

"Father - forgive them for they know not what they do".

As one of my favourite songs says; "God the just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon ME!". So why would He change His mind? And why if He is satisfied to look on His Son and pardon us - who does the Church think they are by passing judgements on who and who has not "fallen from grace"? I remember hearing somewhere (I can't remember where) the saying:

"Be careful how you speak to My Bride".

Deception and Discernment or Misery and Morality?

I came home today to visit my family for a belated birthday celebration and had an absolutely lovely time with them. I was thrilled to receive two Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones books that I can't wait to get reading. His final book in his Romans series: "Life in Two Kingdoms" and also his fifth volume in his series on the Book of Acts entitled: "Authentic Christianity - Acts 7". My family know me so well!

However while I've been socialising with my parents we have had some very interesting chats mainly centered around the gospel of grace and legalism. One such conversation was provoked by a Christmas newsletter I was rather distressed to find, pick up and read from someone. The individual wrote:

"The recent debacle of the so-called "Lakeland Revival" under Todd Bentley and his subsequent fall from grace should have jolted some Christians into thinking seriously".

The writer then went on to recommend two books - one of which was edited by C J Mahaney entitled; "Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World". So the question that I put and we discussed at some length was this phrase: "Fallen from grace". What does it mean? Christianity traditionally uses it against Christians who have sinned morally in some way. But as Rob Rufus among others shows quite clearly - to use the phrase in such a way is totally unbiblical and misleading.

"Fallen from grace" is found when Paul writes his letter to Galatians in Galatians 5:4 and he writes:

"You have been severed from Christ, you who are seeking to be justified by law; you have fallen from grace".

Paul is writing - as is well known - to the Galatian church who began in the true gospel of grace and ended up in a gospel of works. He did not have any commendation for them and was extremely angry. So the apostle Paul does not apply the term; "Fallen from grace" to Christians (such as the Corinthians as one might think) who have fallen morally. Rather he sees legalistic Christians who are seeking to be justified by law - THEY are the ones who have fallen from grace.

In writing to the Corinthian church (who had fallen morally as is well known) Paul at the start of both letters (1 Corinthians 1:3 and 2 Corinthians 1:2) actually uses the phrase: "Grace ... to you"! A well-known old hymn speaks of the wonder of what happened at the Cross of Christ to our sin:

"My sin, 0 the bliss of this glorious thought - My sin, not in part but in whole - Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more - Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, 0 my soul!"

So has Todd Bentley "fallen from grace"? By no means - rather I hope and pray that at this moment he has found that underneath are the "everlasting arms of grace" and that his beloved Father will not let him rest until he is back in God's will for his already remarkable life. May Todd Bentley know this Christmas that "grace and peace" is coming to him and the question from heaven is: "Don't you know that you are light?".

The question is rather - are such legalists aware that by attempting to gain approval with God through the keeping of the law that THEY are the ones who have fallen from grace? May they too re-find the wonder of their first love when they realised that it: "Is BY GRACE you are saved - THROUGH FAITH and that NOT OF YOURSELVES - it is the GIFT of God".

I can't resist ending this post without quoting from my new Dr Lloyd-Jones book: "Authentic Christianity - Acts 7". A lot of the discussion that I've so enjoyed and benefited from was about how we work through sanctification now we are justified. We discussed the pros and cons of "accountability groups". We talked about the Puritan view of "Mortifying sin" and generally the whole question - how do we grow more like Jesus Christ? Should I be going out and buying these books on "Worldliness" that teach me about modesty and what clothes I should wear? About music and what singles I should listen to and buy? Dr Lloyd-Jones presents a powerful and refreshing alternative:

"What does Christianity offer? Is it an exhortation to you to live a better life? Is it the business of preaching to tell you; "Stop drinking. Stop committing adultery. Don't do this and that. Try to pull yourself together. Read good books. Get a little moral uplift. Gradually make yourself a better person"? A thousand times - no! That is no message: we cannot do it!".

The thing I love about Dr Lloyd-Jones - like any expert clinician - is that he does not tell you what not to do and leave you floundering. He presents the correct view.

"What is it then? Well, as you saw, our Lord puts it so plainly to Nicodemus: "You must be born again". That is the message and it is about a miracle. We cannot be improved. We need the miracle of a rebirth, a regeneration, a new nature, a new creation. The God who created us all at the beginning is going to create us anew, make new people of us and here is the hope and the only hope.

The gospel is not the proclamation of a moral reformation".

Or as Rob Rufus puts it - "The Gospel is not about right living but right believing".

"But of regeneration and life in the Spirit. It offers us a new start, a new beginning; it offers us a new power, which is the 'power of God unto salvation'. It offers us power to live the remainder of our lives in this world and at the end it promises us a like conquest over death, a glorious resurrection and an eternity in the Presence of God. It is not ... a moral, ethical scheme; it is not a political scheme; it is nothing less than the re-creating work of the almighty God. It is a miracle. It is supernatural. It is divine action from beginning to end.

THIS is the message of the Christian gospel of salvation!".

Let's never forget that. We all aim I am sure - legalists and non alike - to become more like Jesus Christ. But the fact is that the Bible is very clear in how that can most effectually be accomplished. So people of the Word (if that's what we claim to be) let's be truthful to the Word of God and realise that there is nothing more abhorent to God Himself that attempting to gain a standing with Him by our own works of the flesh.

Huge Encouragements for those Who Aren't Academics!

Rob Rufus said in his latest sermon: "Sonship" versus "Christianity":

"It is His pleasure to hide the revelation of the Father's love to the wise and learned, the arrogant and self-righteous - those keeping the law. But it is his joy and His pleasure to reveal the love of the Father to those who come down in humility and believe that He has not called you to be a Christian but a son who the Father loves!

What is the revelation of the Father's love?. Rest. Why? "Come to Me all you that are laiden and heavy-burdened and I will give you rest ... My yoke is easy and My burden is light! Christians talk about "God's given me a burden". Now if you mean by that that God has given you a calling and is showing you what He wants you to do along with Him then fine. But if your idea of a burden is moaning and groaning then that is not rest and that is not a yoke that is easy or a burden that is light".

Just awesome! I've been drinking in this sermon this week so far as well as scribbling frantically and have heard some incredible insights that the Holy Spirit has shown will potentially mend what doctors, psychologists and medicine cannot in my life! The whole revelation of sonship is one that I am only now struggling to learn as I missed it in my formative years growing up in church life. Regretfully I grew up as a Christian not as a son. But I am sensing this week that the Holy Spirit is saying that NOW are my formative years and the best IS yet to come!

I will be sharing more on that very very soon!

Ern Baxter with William Branham

Just couldn't resist a final quick post and a link to a site I discovered set up I think by supporters of the late William Branham. It's called: "Believe the Sign" and there is a seperate page devoted to Ern Baxter and his involvement with William Branham. They very kindly link to the website that is hopefully being still developed with Pete Day - "Ern Baxter dot com" and make reference to an interview with Ern that I published about Branham.

The photo that they published was also of great interest to me - it is Ern Baxter standing deep in thought in front of a ministry car for William Branham. The website very honestly makes note of the fact that in his later years Ern Baxter seperated himself from Branham's doctrines yet never, ever (a point I had to argue and battle with some of the elders at my home church in Dunstable who were trying to claim that Ern Baxter didn't support Branham) argued with the verifiable and authentic miracles that he witnessed while travelling with Branham.

Here's a video that I published some time ago - of an interview with Ern where he was discussing William Branham:



Why do I make mention of this? I mentioned yesterday that Rob Rufus provokes me by his relationship and continual encounters with the manifest Presence of God and the resulting signs and wonders that follow the message of grace that marks his ministry. I have found a video on You-Tube of testimonies from Kings Church in Eastbourne following Rob's visit that we were able to be at (Pete, Scott and myself along with Nick and Malcolm):



The difference to me - the unfolding revelation that is clear to me marking us out as different from the days of William Branham and the other healers of the 1950's is that in those days people flocked to those men and women seeking a miracle from them. And God blessed them graciously! But what I feel passionately now is that Rob Rufus among many others have opened up the truths of the Scripture to us to show that we ALL are responsible for seeing signs, wonders and miracles following OUR ministry and OUR witness.

The question is - will we accept that we are the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ and as such are equipped by God the Holy Spirit to go out and make His Name famous among the nations!?

Get Thee Up into the High Mountain!!

Well once again God shows His wonderful grace through some awesome friends I've got. I'm being taken away tomorrow for a week's surprise holiday for my birthday! (It's on the 8th December). It was felt that I would benefit from some winter sun. I can tell I'm a workaholic when I don't want to go away because I will miss the chance to work! But I am going because I think it will be a good break - and hopefully a chance to re-boot, rest and make some major decision choices.

But most importantly of all - I pray again its a chance to just do "nothing" and encounter God in powerful ways. I love this clip where Rob was speaking to the Mobilise thousands last Brighton conference when we were there and he urges that getting away with God is so important.



I love the way that Rob's example is so grace-filled. My life has been full of great men and women of God who have testified to an awesome relationship with Him. But somehow I have always felt condemned and guilty because I couldn't quite match up to their walk with God. Yet Rob Rufus is a different story and I am not quite sure how he does it. He testifies to encounters with God that I can only dream of - yet this motivates me rather than condemns me! I think because his teaching is so undergirded with New Covenant grace - no one can be left with the impression that it's thanks to great scholar-ship or great study or great prayer and fasting but GRACE!!

So I've got great hopes for this week - I hope to return refreshed and full of revelation and new vision for the end of this difficult year and a new year full of hope and promise! Loadsa love to everyone - hope you have a great week. I will try and get to an internet cafe if I can but if not - see you when I get back!