How Do You Keep Going In the Darkest Night? Fresh OIL!

This week has been one of "those" weeks again. One of those weeks that my younger sister would say; "I never do things by halves!". I've been called a liar in the troubles at my former place of work, I've had to leave my community job and to top it off my car burst into flames on the motorway while I was going down to see my parents! But then suddenly some really upsetting news put all that into perspective - a couple and their gorgeous son felt they had no option but to take their lives after their paralysed and ventilated son died in hospital. I looked after him when I worked in Bristol and they were the most devoted, caring parents one could meet. He was the most brave, adorable little boy also. What upset me the most was that his parents had a faith in God that their little boy would walk and talk again.

So how do we deal with that? Do we adapt our theology to meet our experience and decide that actually God is unloving, uncaring and deaf to the cries and heartaches of His people? How can we! We know better. I can feel the heartache of God even as I type and I am so glad and know that family are safe in heaven where their little boy IS walking and talking and dancing. My lapse in blogging over the past few days has been deliberate because I don't want to write trite words of empty hope that I don't believe. My heart is aching and breaking. I do wake up during the night sweating from various nightmares linked to this week's events. I'm not going to write a "All things work together for God" ... somehow, someway post - (even though they do) when I don't believe it!

I found a section in one of Rob Rufus's earlier sermons from City Church International and it REALLY makes sense! Especially due to my car problems!

"There are basically five reasons why you need fresh anointing on your life:

1. Because oil evaporates. There's the natural and there's the supernatural but they are parallel in comparison.

2. Oil leaks out through holes. If you have got a hole in a vessel, oil will always find a way out of that hole. Gravity will move it towards that hole and it will leak out through that hole. That hole could be bitterness or it can be self-pity - is where the oil leaks out.

3. Oil loses it's density, it's viscosity. It becomes thinner and the thickness of that oil, the strength of that oil is reduced. There is no longer that heavy anointing on your life. You are no longer concious of that awesome Presence of God because the oil has lost it's viscosity. It loses it's power to lubricate.

4. Oil gets discoloured. It picks up all the dirt. When it's fresh, it is golden and transparent, but then it becomes a dark colour and loses that power to lubricate.

5. Oil begins to stink when it goes rotten. It goes rancid and it is a terrible smell - rotten, rancid oil.

I am constantly amazed at how some Christians haven't blown their brains out, how they haven't just gone into manic deep depression. This is because you cannot function without the supernatural fresh anointing. The Bible says that the anointing heals broken hearts, sets at liberty those who are bruised, opens the prison doors and gives sight to the blind.

The anointing lifts the yoke of heaviness over us and lifts the burdens off our backs and there are people who have accumulated years of burdens and disappointments and deep grief and the anointing, that is meant to keep that off them every day is not there. You are not meant to live today on yesterdays anointing. Sufficient is the grace for every day".

And I think I have my answer. I have been so almightily blessed with so many forums for receiving the anointing of God on my life. "Glory and Grace" in Hong Kong was obviously a complete highlight of my life. But that was two years ago! The "Together on a Mission" 2006 and 2007 conferences were highlights but they were two years ago. Everytime I meet my friend Pete Day we receive awesome downloads of glory but that's only every month or two! It's just not enough.

The oil on my life is leaking, isn't as thick as it should and stinks! But you know what the awesome good news is? The anointing is free! It's available! And all because of marvellous, lavish grace! So my prayer today - as I face the uncertain, unknown future is not to fear some "generational curse" but to pray that I will receive an awesome download of God's anointing power - maybe even while I am at work. I don't need increased anti-depressants, I don't need psychotherapy and I don't need to consider committing suicide. I need the anointing!!